Aibu or it wrong for me to do this.

[JaffacakesAreCakesNotBiscuits]

So my dds 1st birthday is coming up. Dd has too many toys books and clothes from. Xmas and really doesn't need more. So we have said about money for those who want to gift but obviously don't expect it.
We thought about purchasing a pass for Peppa pig World.. Obviously dd is under the height so the money would pay for mine to take dd. I will take her once a week as its only 30 min away. She is the only one who realistically benefits
It gets her out. She has fun and enjoys being out.
Were not buying dp or ds a pass as dp works a lot and ds is too old= teenager and will be at school anyway.
Most have said it's a great idea as dd will love it and wouldn't be wasteful unlike buying more toys she honestly doesn't need.
However a couple have said ' so you want us to pay for YOUR pass' I explained the above and that obviously dd can't go in without me and she is the only one who benefits. But they think it's wrong.

Now I feel like it's a silly idea or that I'm being a CF. ( totally willing to be told I am)

I've also given money towards passes for kids before and not given it a second thought?

They think you want to go to Peppa Pig world for your own amusement???

Tbh I think I'd be an eensy bit miffed about that if I were you.

YANBU.

I can see both sides but may have worded it differently (money towards a pass for PP land) or if you got money use some of it towards that as essentially its the same thing isnt it then put the rest in savings or what ever

Exactly, I can't stand peppa bloody pig lmao. But thought it's local, dd will love it., term time will be quiet and it's fresh air and she gets to run around in the park

I wouldn't like that tbh. What can a child that young even do at peppa pig world?

Sounds like a good idea to me. We've suggested same before. Ignore the one person.

I can't remember how I exactly worded it now but it was along the lines of.
(in reply to ' what does dd want for birthday)
Hi.. Well tbh she doesn't need anything right now, however me and dp were thinking about a pp pass so I can take her weekly as a friend goes along and dd will love it, we thought this as she had too much for Xmas which some is still boxed. So if you want to give her a gift maybe some money would be nice to put towards the pp pass.. However we don't expect anything at all and she will be more than happy to see you all at her party and eat cake ( a small close friends and family tea)

Go on the rides See the characters, walk around exploring, enjoy the little rides that are spaced around ( like the ones you put 50p in)
My friend has taken her ds since 1 and he loves it.
So thought she may do.

Tbh op they might be responding negatively due to feeling a smidge offended by your message. if I'd given her a gift at Christmas and you now told me she'd received 'too much' and some was still in boxes I'd have thought you a bit ungrateful.
What you've said is not untrue, we all feel like that after Christmas! But there are more tactful ways to say it

3 people have said it.. Out of about 20!

Didn't think of it like that.. I'm not ungrateful and honestly feel Awful if that's how I came across.
Its only still boxed as we've been getting one items week out so she enjoys it more .

I'd find it a bit odd tbh especially since your message reads as though you don't even know if she will like it but are assuming she will because a friend's child does.

, item a week out.

Well I'm pretty sure she will but obviously there's a chance she won't. But she's very active and likes the carousel in the city centre at Xmas and the little 50p rides in supermarkets etc.

Maybe I'll leave the idea then..

YABU. I think if you dont want anything you say no gifts please and leave it at that. I also think PP world for a 1yo is a waste of money and I'd think you were batshit.

I see where you are coming from but it's a bit cheeky. For example, dd1 often got €20 cinema vouchers for her birthday, when we went we put her ticket on the voucher and I paid my own, I wouldn't use her voucher for my entry even though she couldn't go without me. I would consider this to similar to be honest

I have no idea what is actually in Peppa Pig World but I wouldn't be thrilled to be asked to pay for your ticket and would wonder what sort of enjoyment a one year old would get from it. Nor would I be happy if I had given your child a Christmas present, to learn that it hadn't even be opened or used.

Thank you for giving perspective much appreciated.
The presents are slowly being opened and used but as said we've spaced them out and give roughly one a week so she appreciates it more than having 30 + at once.. So it wasn't meant in an ungrateful way and I feel awful it's come across like that.

I am all about stuff to do for presents rather than things to have at this point in the year. We have far too much.

I think it is a good suggestion. To your relatives who say "so you want us to pay for your pass" say "that's what I would suggest to those asking for ideas as trying to minimise the toys as she has so much after Christmas, but grateful for any gift. And please to feel obliged to get anything at all."

While I think it’s generally rude to ask for money I also think we all have people in our lives that we can say that to when they ask what the dc wants. I say it to my parents, sister and a few close friends if they ask as often the dc are saving up for a bigger purchase.

I don’t think it’s rude to want it for a PP pass either it’s not like you asked for money towards and Alton Towers pass where you could happily go as a lone adult nobody In Their right mind would choose to go to PP world. Sil bought the dc passes for a place near us last year for the dc. We could have for just the dc passes but she gave us money for the whole family because the dc couldn’t go without us taking them.

I think it's a cheeky request. She's a baby, what are you intending for her to do there? I hate requests for money instead of gifts in general, but that's my own personal dislike I suppose

she had too much for Xmas which some is still boxed

You see, that would hack me off big time and I wouldn't want to give you anything at all!

I usually just give or do what parents ask

My Dsis tells me specific things and that is what I get. I trust her judgement on a gift - she is the child’s parent

I watch a lot of relatives give gifts to childen that they are convinced the child will love and they either don’t, already have similar etc. They do it because they like the gift but don’t necessarily consider will the child or the parent like it!

I would rather give a gift that gives enjoyment than specify what I think the gift should be - as the giver

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this suggestion from a parent - If I had asked and this is that the parent told me then I wouldn’t actually want to go buy more random useless plastic things for the child

Nah, I think most people know you don’t open 30 presents at once. I wouldn’t worry about that.

I was a bit reading your OP, but thinking about it I’m not sure why it makes a difference if people pay for her ticket rather than yours, seeing as she’s 1. Anything PP is hell on Earth to me, so I’d know you’d be doing it only for her.

Nonetheless, it’s a bit odd. In the past, I’ve suggested books (any age group - let’s people buy things on sale) and clothes (any size - ditto) only, because I knew they’d always get used a lot. And they have. You could try that.

*she had too much for Xmas which some is still boxed

You see, that would hack me off big time and I wouldn't want to give you anything at all!*

She’s 1yo and if 20 people got her gifts, that’s probably too much for a small child. It’s normal to keep them back and give gradually isn’t it?

Honestly it's not about the present or whether you or DD would like or use it.

It's the fact you've asked for 'money' or a 'contribution' that doesn't sit well with some folks.

Wouldn't bother me, easy peasy present but there you go.

I'm of a mind that I just let folks buy what they want. What's the worst that can happen.. you end up with thoughtful gifts, stuff your kids like, and otherwise just give it away.

It's a bit like weddings where the couple ask for money or a 'contribution' to their honeymoon. It just feels a bit grabby and expected however well intended.

Just let folks make their own mind up, say thanks and leave it at that.