Patchworkpatty
Only on MN are MIL automatically vilified and their EVERY intention analysed for its signs of 'control' . This is sooo bizarre. In rl I cannot think of a single friend who has this kind of combative negative relationship with their MIL.
My MIL would totally do this, and invite random cousins DH hasn't seen and isn't bothered by, plus she would heavily involve SIL, who DH hasn't spoken to for 7 years and can't stand.
She would do it because 'We're all such a close family' In reality she calls our kids twice a year and doesn't know them at all. Her choice by the way, we've tried for years, but gave up a couple of years ago because she just didn't care. Yet she tells people about how close the family is, I guess to make herself look like a doting grandmother.
I have to say, I'm no longer bothered by this. To get het up about it would take up (and has done in the past) way too much of my head space. Now we just accept it for what it is.
I'm glad you have a good relationship with your MIL, my best friend has a fantastic MIL too, but you need to recognise different people have different experiences.
Also online people often talk about the problems/bad/negative experiences rather than the good/positives.