Double decker bus on motorway with infant aged kids - opinions needed!

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

AIBU to feel reluctant to send my year 1 child (although I don't think it is relevant, to avoid accusations of drip feeding, he does have SEN) on a school trip that involves travelling on a double decker bus approximately 30 miles, majority motorway.
I asked school, the bus apparently has lapbelts. The reason for the choice of bus over coach is due to cost. Trip wouldn't go ahead otherwise.
My child has done a similar trip before, but I had no idea that the travel arrangements where as above. I assumed it would he minimum 3 point seat belt on a coach, which while not perfect, would offer some protection. I am angry at myself for not being aware of this on a previous trip.
I asked if my child's Ofsted registered nanny could take him, and accompany the trip. I was told no, because the head has said there are enough adults attending and he doesn't want any additional.
I have an otherwise excellent relationship with the school, and feel they are wonderful with my child.
I have to make a decision by tomorrow whether to let him go. If I don't, his SEN will make it awful for both him and the staff in the school as he won't understand why he has to miss out.
I feel a bit backed in to a corner here.
AIBU to be unhappy at the travel arrangements?

Think logically though.

The school will have fully risk assessed it. That risk assessment will have been done by someone trained to risk assess.

If it was as significantly risky as you have in your mind then schools up and down the country simply wouldn’t be allowed to do it.

Don’t forget half the risk assessment formula is about the probability of that risk occurring

I have been on many school trips and organise plenty of trips with my brownies. We have always gone on a coach not a bus. We pay a lot of money for coach hire and they have always only had lapbelts.

Ok then love.
Have a kid who takes part in nothing, probably struggles with making friends, because you’re crap at statistics and over anxious
Poor bugger.

HTH

Travis, it sounds like you are projecting.

You're also rude.

Hth.

Haha. I’m not. This is about a bus ride.
Everyone has said you’re anxious and unreasonable
Everyone has said that coaches only have lap belts.
Everyone has said that statistically motorway travel is the safest.
You come on and say nothing has yet convinced you, because you don’t want anything to convince you.
And if you don’t think you’re attitude has an impact on how your kid grows up and forms relationships then you’re living in lala land.

There is a difference between risk assement as a parent and risk assessment as a school. And I know which one I would trust more.

Double deckers don’t often seem to be in accidents on motorways, do they?

I’d let him go unless it’s ridiculously windy perhaps (my kids used to go on double deckers to school - short journey but in high winds they sent coaches) and ask that he sit downstairs.

Let him go. The benefits of the trip massively outweigh any minute chance of a bus being involved in a high speed accident. You may as well worry about a car mounting the pavement during his walk to school. Could happen - not likely enough to happen to insist he wears a bicycle helmet when walking, even though other precautions, such as a supervising adult and sticking to well-lit pedestrian paths, are sensible.

If it was every day, you'd be right to rethink. If it was a car, I certainly wouldn't be happy with a child being restrained only with a lap belt. But in a bus, for a one off trip, it is impractical to expect the use of any extra restraint (such as fitting a car/booster seat/extra harness).

Since buses are larger and heavier than cars, they do tend to stop moving much slower if there is an accident, which does reduce the potential for injury, so a lap belt is more appropriate on a bus than in a car.

There is a balance to be had between safety and practicality, and falling on the "overcautious" side isn't without drawbacks. I don't personally believe that the difference between a lap and shoulder vs a lap belt in a bus is significant enough to cancel a trip. But as ever it is your child and therefore your call.

I don't know why some posters are being so nasty to you OP. If my child was in a vehicle travelling at motorway speeds, I would much prefer them to be in a 3 point belt rather than a lap belt.

Yes, crashes on the motorway aren't that common, but they do happen, and anything that would reduce the risk of serious injury is important.

I have always assumed my DCs' school use 3 point belts on trips but sounds as though that may not be the case from this thread. I think I would still let them go with just lap belts (weighing up risk vs benefit) but YANBU to be concerned.

OP, I would be nervous too. We have three point harnesses and car seats when in the car so to think of them with just a lap belt would make me question him going.

What does it matter if its a bus or coach? Any vehicle can have an accident any time. YANBU

Plenty of buses travel on trunk roads, including stretches of motorway and, more dangerously, meandering rural roads. Would you refuse to catch them, too?

Motorways are statistically safer than other types of road, anyhow. Everyone is travelling in pretty much a straight line with no obstacles to navigate or pedestrians to avoid.

Pointless thread.
OP made up her mind before she posted.

Its not our child.
We are not invested.
She wants to create problems where non exist so let her.

Your ds is much mire likely to die in an accident in the car with you going down an A road.
Much more likely to die walking across a road.
Much more likely to die of many reasons.

But if you want this to be the sword you die by then go for it

Just lost a post I typed.

OP I think you are making a false distinction between “bus” and “coach”

we tend to think of coaches as more comfortable/luxurious than buses, but the truth is regardless of what you call it you are referring to a double-decker vehicle to transport lots of people.

Your risk assessment needs to focus on whether the vehicle has seatbelts. Not what it’s called.

I understand your point and but YABU and way to over protective. Your anxiety will cause your son many more problems in the future if you don’t address it now

Haven't read all. Just need to clarify - the issue is nothing to do with SN then, it's just child on a trip, using the motorway on a double decker?

He'd be safe in all that cotton wool you wrap him in.

I understand your concern but personally I would (and will) let my son go. I also wouldn't ask for three point belts as having been on a trip with infants, they are probably more dangerous than just lap belts as they don't sit properly on them.

Actually our school uses coaches with three point seat belts and I really wish they didn't.

OP you are being unreasonable and kverly anxious. The school would obviously have done a thorough risk assesment and the risks are very minimal. Are you going to prevent your child from joining in anything that has a tiny amoint of risk?

You obviously already made up yout mind and the only reason you posted was because you wanted your opinion validated. PPs have given you some good justification that the trip is safe but because thats not what you wanted to hear, it doesn't convince you.
Please reconsider and dont make you child miss out in things because of your own anxiety.

May I just respond to the point upthread about people not travelling as far 30 years ago...

While there was plenty wrong with the way we travelled, (3 children per 2 seats was standard) we made it a lot further than the next village .

We went on motorways and everything.

Life is a risk, full of risks and, frankly, dull without risks.

Any decision like yours is tough, cos you can't NOT think about the risks, and it's so hard to rationalise your concerns.

But you do need to; because you can't remove risks completely, and being comfortable with taking risks, especially on behalf of your kids, is so important.

The trick is being risk aware rather than risk adverse; I think in this case you're being risk adverse, the risk is tiny, however easy it might be to contemplate all the things that could go wrong. As has been said, a drive in the car has risks, not going has risks (social, emotional), walking has risks.

Think about the realistic likelihood of the risks you imagine coming true, think of the benefits to your boy of going and then be brave.

Just read this back and I'm coming across a bit patronising :) , hope you don't feel that, and hope you can make a decision your happy with.

dont make your dc scared of eveyrthing

i know someone who wont go t concerts now or fly-so their child doesnt either

Buses and coaches rarely have more than lapbelts.

I can’t believe how many people are saying your over reacting. Yet the same people would crucify you if you said you were contemplating a motorway journey with no car seat.