To ask who died and made him Trinny?

[justilou1]

A bit of background here - I have lost a LOT of weight. Not a humble brag, but I have lost more than my current bodyweight, in fact. This is relevant to part of this conversation, because sometimes I think I'm married to Mr Magoo.

I was putting away my laundry, and my DH noticed that all of my clothes were black, white, grey and green. (Genius - I capsuled the lot about two years ago. I love it - it works for me). He asked what had happened to my "colourful" dress. I had to do a major think about it, and realised that the thing he was talking about was from my fat days, and pointed out that it had gone in a charity bin, as it would have been like a parachute on me, and asked why he wanted to know. He said that my wardrobe needed a "Pop" of colour. I am nearly 47 years old, I work, study full-time, do most of the kid-wrangling, house-keeping, shopping, cooking, vet-trips, etc..... Doesn't leave much time for glamorous events, does it? For some reason his unsolicited opinions on my clothing are really pissing me off. (Possibly because he thinks I dress for him, maybe?). Of course I am ignoring him - and maybe contemplating branching out and buying beige just to annoy him. I don't comment on his wardrobe!!!

Why am I so cross about this???

I think he’s very gently trying to hint that your “capsule” wardrobe makes you look drab as fuck . Have you thought that those colours may actually not suit your skin tone and make you look washed out? Instead of getting pissed off with him, why don’t you punish him by dragging him into a shop and try out some different scarves wrapped around your black/neutral ensemble and ask him which colour looks best on you?

Cheaper than a colour consultant and that’ll teach him to open his mouth again

@FamilyOfAliens

Yes! A “carefully curated collection of pieces sourced from a clever mix of high street and high end retailers. Each piece delivering a well thought out pop of colour”!

😄

A man who isnt Mark from Lorraine used the phrase 'pop of colour'?? Wow! At least he notices and is positive (congrats on the weight loss by the way). One of the numerous charming parting gambits from fuckwit cheating ex husband was how much he hated my clothes! (My sartorial choices had been fine for the previous 24 years... - twat)

“Pop of colour” indeed. Has he suggested where you might source something suitable? Maybe he could offer to curate your wardrobe?

I see I have x posted with some other Great Minds 😁

“Clever mix”?

C’mon - “eclectic mix”, no?

But I have to say you nailed it with “delivering a well-thought out pop of colour”.

Has he just seen Gok Wan on QVC (first Friday of the month, 8pm Ladies!)

Well, id you can find a hideosly over the top dress Orange and purple spots and stripes then do TA DA! Do you think that would be enough??!

Tell him you’ll get a dress with a pop of colour when he pulls his weight around the house.

I have long held the opinion that the only comment husbands/partners should make about your clothes is “You look beautiful, darling.”
OP’s Husband maybe would have been okay saying “I really loved that colourful dress on you, I wonder if you could find similar in tiny size”.
Finding clothes that work for you is such a hassle, it’s not like you buy 17 grey T-shirts and you’re done. And then feeling like you are dressing to make someone else happy- no, OP is justified in feeling annoyed.

Actually OP needs a pop of colour in her life, not her clothes ...

It’s irritating as fuck becuase he has appointed himself the upper hand role - he’s teaching you about your own wardrobe.

Whereas in reality he should be doing his fair share and stop being a twat. That would be far more helpful than critical ‘advice’ about how you dress.

Op I think this comment isn't the issue is it?

If he dresses like an 8 year old he probably has an 8 year olds appreciation of clothes. My 8 year old wears a black and white stripy T-shirt with blue and white stripped leggings and pink and purple stripy sock because ‘it matches’.

Are you cross because you’ve massively changed and he hasn’t noticed and when he finally noticed it was to ask where the balloon dress went?

Saying that someone needs a bit of colour in their wardrobe is sometime a (slightly clumsy) way of expressing concern about their mood. He might be worried that your drab clothes reflect a feeling of drabness or a desire to avoid standing out. Is the thing you're angry about that he hadn't really noticed the extent if your weight loss or that he expects you to dress how he wants you to?

Maybe he thinks that after losing so much weight that you would look beautiful in some gorgeous colours.
But I agree, it sounds like you are pissed off with him about more than "a pop of colour".

But him some lovely pink trousers!

Buy not but

I wonder what goes through his head sometimes... That dress (to me) was a typical fat lady circus tent. He obviously liked it because it was a break from my usual, simple clothes. I also wonder if he remembers it properly. I happen to like black and grey. (But not navy as it makes me look like I have hepatitis. Thanks for the previous poster’s suggestion.... that could teach him a lesson!) I’m 5ft1, with a disproportionately short body, so have to be careful with prints. I’m old enough to have a feel for what works for me. I’m not a total stick in the mud. Tomorrow I’m wearing palazzo pants with a tropical print (in shades of green) and a green linen t-shirt to university. (In Australian summer - it’s a million degrees. Big, floppy, white hat that makes me look like a portabello mushroom). Plus bright red lipstick. He won’t notice.

I wonder how he’d react if I told him it’s time he started dressing like a big boy.....?

I think this is nothing to do with clothes. If it is, you need to chill out. If it isn’t. Work out out it’s actually about and deal with that

What it’s actually about!!

Well. I’ve just learned that my terminal laziness and hatred of shopping, leading to a wardrobe consisting almost entirely of black jeans and grey t shirts is a Capsule Wardrobe.

Ermmm OP ... I brighten up my Capsule Wardrobe with a pop of colour by wearing ––the scarf my auntie bought me–– a carefully curated collection of eclectic scarves.

Bum. Strikethough fail

I always wear black, white, navy, grey or blue. I do, however have a massive collection of colourful accessorie, amassed over several decades, for that "pop" of colour. I'd be telling him to piss off.

I am reminded of an old story ...

    <span class="italic">The Crappiest Fairy Godmother</span>

Once upon a time there was a laundry maid called Cinderella who worked long hours washing, folding and sorting clothes without recognition or thanks. One day she was scrubbing away at her washboard when her fairy Godmother - possibly a man in drag - appeared before her.

‘What you need is a pop of colour,’ mused the fairy Godmother as she surveyed Cinderella in her practical utilitarian clothing.

Did she then wave her magic wand and conjure up a ballgown of vibrant silk? Or even manage to turn mice into horses, rats into footmen or a pumpkin into a coach to transport Cinderella to a ball that would provide a meaningful context for glamming up?

Did she heck!

She expected poor exhausted Cinderella to pull herself up by her bootstraps and sort it all out herself.

And the worst of it was that Cinderella had really been trying to make the best of herself. Despite her arduous work schedule, she always made certain that she wiped the cinders from her cheeks, tied her hair back with a freshly starched grey ribbon and was unfailingly parsimonious with her own portions of gruel.

With angry tears brimming in her eyes, Cinderella looked around the shabby laundry room ... and, lo and behold, there it was - a glass slipper.

She picked it up and threw it at her Fairy Godmother!