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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who died and made him Trinny?

94 replies

justilou1 · 10/02/2019 07:32

A bit of background here - I have lost a LOT of weight. Not a humble brag, but I have lost more than my current bodyweight, in fact. This is relevant to part of this conversation, because sometimes I think I'm married to Mr Magoo.

I was putting away my laundry, and my DH noticed that all of my clothes were black, white, grey and green. (Genius - I capsuled the lot about two years ago. I love it - it works for me). He asked what had happened to my "colourful" dress. I had to do a major think about it, and realised that the thing he was talking about was from my fat days, and pointed out that it had gone in a charity bin, as it would have been like a parachute on me, and asked why he wanted to know. He said that my wardrobe needed a "Pop" of colour. I am nearly 47 years old, I work, study full-time, do most of the kid-wrangling, house-keeping, shopping, cooking, vet-trips, etc..... Doesn't leave much time for glamorous events, does it? For some reason his unsolicited opinions on my clothing are really pissing me off. (Possibly because he thinks I dress for him, maybe?). Of course I am ignoring him - and maybe contemplating branching out and buying beige just to annoy him. I don't comment on his wardrobe!!!

Why am I so cross about this???

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/02/2019 08:41

Sorry JaneHare - just seen that you have already given this important advice Grin

pinkyredrose · 10/02/2019 08:42

Why do you do most of the household stuff if you're working and studying full time? Would have thought he'd be doing most of it in that case.

He can shove his comments up his arse. Why don't you turn it back on him, critique his wardrobe and tell him where he's going wrong, (unless he dresses like George Clooney of course )

Orchiddingme · 10/02/2019 08:44

Kedgeree this is my husband who used to make remarks about liking floral, dresses, colour on me. I would look like a giant meringue in these clothes so I've always just ignored him and worn black, light grey, pale pink at a push. My husband's mental image of me is actually rather lovely but it doesn't accord with reality. Ignore!

zen1 · 10/02/2019 08:44

Has anyone else got an advert depicting a colour palette?

Spudlet · 10/02/2019 08:46

If DH used the term 'pop of colour', I would find it to be a serious test of all those pelvic floor exercises GrinGrin Or I'd think he had been replaced by a pod person! 👽

Go shopping op, but for yourself, if you want to. And congratulations on the weight loss!

labazsisgoingmad · 10/02/2019 08:48

i think most men wouldnt notice if you went round with a bin liner on to be honest its obvious something stuck in his head he liked and just wanted to compliment you on it. he could have phrased it better but i should imagine he is thrilled on your weight loss maybe you said you have some green in your wardrobe maybe introduce some coloured tops to brighten up the black i tend to wear black or navy as its easier to cope with life but now and again i put something a bit more colourful on

Spudlet · 10/02/2019 08:48

zen1 I wish I did, for several days now I've had an advert for dulco-soft, or whatever it's called. 💩

EvaHarknessRose · 10/02/2019 08:49

My dh also has a theory that older women don’t wear colour enough. I think I will start saying the same to him about older men. But what if he buys red trousers?

This would be a good one for the man who has it all facebook page :)

Weirdlookingbricks · 10/02/2019 08:49

Is he doing that man thing where they read or see some little thing once and suddenly they're the expert?
And it's not necessarily the perimenopause. It might just be that you're doing most of the heavy lifting and he's being a bit of a wanker.

Calzone · 10/02/2019 08:52

Poor man.

FamilyOfAliens · 10/02/2019 08:52

Loving your thread title though, OP Grin

JaneHare · 10/02/2019 08:56

@SchadenfreudePersonified -it cannot be said too often Grin

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 10/02/2019 08:56

I’m also in the LTB camp over pop of colour.

I might also question if it came from just him, is it genuinely language he uses or has the phrase been borrowed from someone he was discussing you with? I’d be unsettled enough that I’d need to know.

That said, as you enjoy your new body, (and congratulations on the weight loss) don’t restrict what you wear too much and acknowledge that the colours that suit you can change as you age. Have some fun with clothes - you deserve to.

AhoyDelBoy · 10/02/2019 08:56

I would be irrationally annoyed by the expression a "pop" of colour.

Ditto. I’d probably be in hysterics if my DP actually used this expression. I’d be annoyed though too OP.

you need some navy

I’m not sure if this is a joke or not 🤔 with capsule wardrobes you’re supposed to choose a base colour of either black or navy and then various accent colours as the OP has done. This ensures everything goes together (if you subscribe to the belief that black and navy don’t go together which is a commonly held view).

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 10/02/2019 08:56

If he's going to go all Trinny on you - you'll just have to go all Susannah on him and suggest he gets a 'witty little bowtie' so you can pop colourfully together.

StarpopStarpopStarpop!

(Actually this reminds me of my DDad who would complain from time to time that my clothes were 'subfusc'. I didn't really mind. I was just amazed that he even noticed!)

To ask who died and made him Trinny?
chipsandgin · 10/02/2019 08:58

Perhaps your anger is misdirected - fair enough to be cross he’s useless though! I’d take that comment at carte Blanche for a shopping spree!!

MissClareRemembers · 10/02/2019 09:13

I think OP meant she had no need nor time to shop for new

As others have said, anyone who uses the phrase ‘a pop of colour’ should be given short shrift. Next he’ll be suggesting places where you could “source” “pieces”.

cuppycakey · 10/02/2019 09:13

I am nearly 47 years old, I work, study full-time, do most of the kid-wrangling, house-keeping, shopping, cooking, vet-trips, etc.

Is this what the real problem is? Why isn't he doing more?

Re "A pop of colour" I have to jump to Trinny's defence. It's Amanda Bloody Lamb that says that all the fucking time.

LTB

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 10/02/2019 09:23

Well, as we age, I do think colours brighten us up! too much black and grey can be aging and unflattering to older skin tones. I'm dark haired and a little pale/sallow in winter, and I've noticed blush pink near my face is flattering, and I look good in red.
My (adult) daughter is my 'sartorial advisor' and told me years ago to wear more colour and she was right!

Original poster
justilou1 · 10/02/2019 09:28

Thanks ladies, I think you are right that it was that phrase that did it. I nearly threw my shoes at him for the "pop of colour" comment. Bleurgh! If Gok were to say it, (as if...) I'd possibly pay heed, but as DH lives and works in sports gear, and basically gets away with dressing like an eight year old unless he's going to an interview or a funeral, he's not one to be dishing out advice, is he? As for the colour, I HAVE MAKEUP! (By the truckload!). I have stealthily edited the fugly fat clothes out of my cupboards and replaced them with quality pieces that I love and that suit my new body (giant scrotum tummy and all Sad) and my lifestyle. I live in a climate that is sadly lacking in seasons - ergo not much need for variation. If he wishes to date a Barbie, maybe he should book somewhere inspiring for me to dress up for.

OP posts:
SpanielEars070 · 10/02/2019 09:29

I think he's clumsily trying to say that you used to be very colourful and vibrant, now you're always wearing the same thing in the same colour?

Poor DH likes women to be glamorous.....I'm currently sat in leggings and a jumper with my hair scraped back into a bun and his socks......!

Original poster
justilou1 · 10/02/2019 09:35

No, I was never colourful. He's dreaming. I had one colourful dress. It was nice, but it wasn't amazing. Maybe I'll get myself a kaftan and remind him of the bad old days. Grin

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 10/02/2019 09:39

Next he’ll be suggesting places where you could “source” “pieces”.

Surely you mean “curate”? Grin

Pomello · 10/02/2019 09:41

I don't know, it wouldn't annoy me. If he suggested I have surgery or my teeth whitened or something I'd be very annoyed. I am dating a man who seems to wear the same outfit or a grey version of the same grey outfit all the time and I would love to see him in a nice lilac shirt. It won't happen though.

Pomello · 10/02/2019 09:43

I love colour and I also like classic ''pieces''.

I love Rust, Olive/Khaki, a dull muted red, maroon, a mid dusky pink. I think if you get a plain well-fitting top in a colour that suits you, it does a lot of work FOR you so you don't have to be Barbie.