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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hogging seats on trains

220 replies

woollyheart · 09/02/2019 10:26

Because of a family emergency, I've been on the train a lot this past week.

A lot of people hog extra seats by putting their bags on them, or by sitting on the aisle seat so people can't get to the window seat. I think this is fair enough if there are plenty of other seats available.

But when they try to continue hogging extra seats when there are loads of people standing, I think they are extremely rude.

Surely, if there are people standing, you move your bags so they can sit. If you are in an aisle seat, you either stand up and let them through to the window seat, or slide across and let them have the aisle seat.

If they have to ASK you to move, you should apologise and make space for them.

I've seen people having to be asked to move, and not even acknowledging the person asking, never mind apologising. Or making a huge huff and puff about the whole thing. As if the rest of us are unreasonable to want a seat for a 2 hour journey.

Am I missing something?

OP posts:
53rdWay · 09/02/2019 19:41

depends on how many other seats are free I suppose, limitedperiodonly. If you’re talking about most non-underground trains seats are in pairs or threes. I’d say if there are plenty of pairs/threes available then it’s fine to have your bag next to you, but if the only available seats are sitting next to someone anyway, it’s rude to think you have more of a right to the seat next to you than any of the other people do.

Bluelady · 09/02/2019 19:52

It's a selective quote because you completely ignored the other half of what I said @53rdway, and then you said exactly the same thing you castigated me for. If posters were as confrontational in real life as they are here life would be hellish.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 09/02/2019 19:56

I know someone that asks 'has that bag paid for a ticket?...why's it got its own seat then!?' Wish I had the guts!

53rdWay · 09/02/2019 20:01

because you completely ignored the other half of what I said

How does that change the meaning of what you said though? You’re still saying you put your bag on the seat next to you, yes? And you think people are being ‘goady’ and ‘nasty’ if they ask you to move it rather than going and sitting next to someone else.

Bluelady · 09/02/2019 20:06

I fucking give up.

limitedperiodonly · 09/02/2019 21:35

I love these threads. They bring out the bonkers.

It is simple.

Get on train or bus. Put bag next to you because it's not hurting anyone. If train or bus fills up so there are no more seats, move bag to let a person sit down. If you don't notice that they need a seat and they have to ask you, move it onto your lap or floor saying 'Yes. Of course'

Continue on your way

Lweji · 09/02/2019 22:07

limitedperiodonly

You're too sane. Grin

FascinatingCarrot · 09/02/2019 22:13

If you don’t know the terror of being sexually assaulted whilst being pinned into a corner with no where to go then I’m happy for you.
Oh do fuck off. Why havent you started the 'please dont force anyone into the window seat on a train AIBU?'

Christ almighty. I havent even read any more yet.
YANBU OP

IamMoana · 09/02/2019 22:31

I'm pretty sure the train operators reserve the right to cancel the seat reservations at any time. I've caught one before so delayed that they announced none of the reservations for the train were in action. Your ticket merely covers your travel. Anything else is a bonus.

PinkGin24 · 09/02/2019 22:33

YANBU re. the bags. As the trains get busy I move mine to my lap.

YABU re. the aisle. I choose to sit in the aisle. Anyone is of course welcome to sit in the window but it is down to them to ask.

Herbyvor · 09/02/2019 22:34

I sat on someone’s bag last year going up to London. I was ignored when I asked if there was space anywhere.
The lowest point was someone plonking their feet on a guide dog. Interestingly it was females who spoke up about that, all the men kept quiet.

Herbyvor · 09/02/2019 22:36

You know, people really shouldn’t have to ask commuters to move their bags Hmm

buckingfrolicks · 09/02/2019 22:36

I just ask has their bag/coat/laptop got a ticket as if not then I'd like the seat please

Has always worked so far

Now100 · 09/02/2019 22:46

I will always ask people to move bags or to let me get to the window seat. I actually choose those seats above spare aisle seats in case others are too shy to ask.

InfiniteCurve · 09/02/2019 22:56

Well,I've sat on a train keeping my bag (rucksack) on the seat.I would move it if there were no other seats but there is no room in some seats to put it on my lap or the floor and it can't go on the rack because it's got my work equipment in,it's fragile and heavy. I suppose I could get up and stand with it on my back but that hurts my back.Which of course is my problem...

limitedperiodonly · 09/02/2019 23:01

ODFOD about that there London Herbyvor

Herbyvor · 09/02/2019 23:02

🤣 touched a nerve limited? You one of the selfish twat seat hoggers?

JellyBears · 09/02/2019 23:04

I’ve been on busy trains where the conductor has announced that he’s going to charge an extra fair to anyone hogging seats with bags.

Arkestra · 09/02/2019 23:05

If someone has to ask you move your bag from the seat next to you so they can sit down because the train is quite full, then you're an idiot.

If someone makes a point of sitting on your bag on the seat next to you, even though the train is virtually empty, then they are an idiot.

Most of us normal people will happily put bags on a seat next to us when there is lots of space, and then take it off again if the train is filling up, because we know that we would be an idiot to do otherwise.

If your yardstick of taking a bag off the seat next to you is to wait until someone asks you, then you are an idiot.

This is because there are many people who find it hard to ask. I don't, personally. I'd be quite happy to ask someone to move their bag, and to move it for them if they seem unduly reluctant.

But I have friends, who I love dearly, and who are good people, who find that kind of confrontation - or even interaction - difficult.

Just move your shit out of the way if you can see that it's going to be a problem. I don't understand why this such a hard point to grasp. Unless you're an idiot.

Herbyvor · 09/02/2019 23:10

If someone makes a point of sitting on your bag on the seat next to you, even though the train is virtually empty, then they are an idiot

Who said they did that? Shock.

I tweeted my rail network once when people were refusing to move their bags and they made an announcement asking commuters to remove all bags from seats. Of course, everyone has an extra special reason that means they can’t move theirs.

limitedperiodonly · 09/02/2019 23:12

I just ask has their bag/coat/laptop got a ticket as if not then I'd like the seat please

I find the technique of getting on the train and standing in front of someone for the five seconds it takes them to move their bag more effective buckingfrolicks.

Try it. I've never known this to fail.

Arkestra · 09/02/2019 23:16

Herbyvor someone mentioned in another comment that some guy had once made a point of sitting on a bag they'd placed in the seat next to them, even though the carriage was largely empty: it's a reference to that. I personally can't see what the problem is with people putting bags on seats next to them if there's lots of space.

TokenGinger · 09/02/2019 23:16

YANBU about bags on seats. I purposely always put my bag on my lap regardless of if the train is full or not. If it has set off and there's nobody standing, I'll then put it on the seat next to me. I'd never keep it on a seat if people are asking, though.

YABU about people choosing aisle seats. I'm pregnant so will not shimmy down three seats to the window seat. Also, my stop is one of the first on the route. The route is so busy in peak time that the aisle is full of people standing. If I'm in near a window, it causes a hassle for people to get out to let me out. If somebody wants to sit in, of course they can, but I won't apologise for choosing to sit in an aisle seat.

Herbyvor · 09/02/2019 23:18

Oh sorry, I misunderstood, I thought you were referring to my comment. I did sit on a man’s bag after asking him to move it, he said he was a barrister and asked me my name.
I appreciate that sounds completely made up, but it honestly wasn’t. Commuters were in the aisles, squashed up against the doors and he was livid that we had spilled over in to first class, even though it had been de classified after a cancellation.

limitedperiodonly · 09/02/2019 23:32

I appreciate that sounds completely made up, but it honestly wasn’t

Thanks for clearing that up because it does a bit.