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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hogging seats on trains

220 replies

woollyheart · 09/02/2019 10:26

Because of a family emergency, I've been on the train a lot this past week.

A lot of people hog extra seats by putting their bags on them, or by sitting on the aisle seat so people can't get to the window seat. I think this is fair enough if there are plenty of other seats available.

But when they try to continue hogging extra seats when there are loads of people standing, I think they are extremely rude.

Surely, if there are people standing, you move your bags so they can sit. If you are in an aisle seat, you either stand up and let them through to the window seat, or slide across and let them have the aisle seat.

If they have to ASK you to move, you should apologise and make space for them.

I've seen people having to be asked to move, and not even acknowledging the person asking, never mind apologising. Or making a huge huff and puff about the whole thing. As if the rest of us are unreasonable to want a seat for a 2 hour journey.

Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 09/02/2019 11:34

"See also families / couples / parents on their own who think groups of 4 or 6 seats are a perfect place to put the pram in the middle of so no-one else can sit down."

You can't win with a pram, go in the bicycle/wheelchair/disabled but and your vilified. Take up space in the carriage and you'll have someone else complaining.

Lweji · 09/02/2019 11:37

Most of the aisle sitters I have encountered are male.

It may be because that way, they can spread their legs sideways without bothering the person sitting next to them.
Large men also tend to take more volume and can thus be more comfortable leaning a bit towards the aisle than trying not to take too much space between the window and the person sitting next to them.
So, men sitting on aisle seats may be much more considerate than you give them credit for.

I often take the aisle seat and have no problems moving for anyone who asks, points or is standing next to me. Chances are they'd have to move to let me through if I left before them.
I wouldn't take the aisle seat if I only left at the last stop or close to it.

Lweji · 09/02/2019 11:39

The point is, no-one should have to notify you.

Some people prefer to stand up for different reasons. You don't have to offer a seat to everyone that passes you by on public transport. Really.

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 11:41

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DarlingNikita · 09/02/2019 11:42

It's very rude. I actively seek out people with their bag on the seat next to them and ask them, impeccably politely, to excuse me please so I can sit there. They can huff and puff if they want.

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatWesternValkyrie · 09/02/2019 11:44

I travel on trains every other day and whilst people do plonk bags on seats, spread their stuff out and choose to sit in the aisle seat, I’ve never had someone be huffy or rude about letting me into a seat or moving their bags. Maybe it’s the occasional travellers rather than the regular commuters who behave this way.

There are many others things that are more inconsiderate I find, and the cause is very often the use of headphones where people are in their own little bubble of obliviousness.

Teateaandmoretea · 09/02/2019 11:45

missmaisal People have also claimed that no one should be allowed to hog aisle seats. I agree re bags on busy trains but if you are on the train first you get to choose the one seat that you sit on.

GrubbyHipsterBeard · 09/02/2019 11:46

YANBU regarding bags on seats. They are taking up two seats.
YABU regarding aisle seats. People have paid for a seat, perfectly legitimate to choose to sit in an aisle one.

nevisbump · 09/02/2019 11:47

I find the person who has taken up the most room, bad on seat, laptop on table, legs stretched out and ask them to move. We all pay for a seat so why shouldn't I. If they moan I ask them what the issue is and if they have paid for extra space.
When heavily pregnant I had to sit on the floor as nobody would move for me although I asked.
People are rude and its unfortunate that others have to deal with the rudeness

Lweji · 09/02/2019 11:48

Lweji the thread isn’t about offering seats it’s about not putting bags on seats in busy trains.

Sorry, I didn't mean offering the seat we're sitting on, but offering to let people pass, or taking a bag.

bruffin · 09/02/2019 11:57

It's very rude. I actively seek out people with their bag on the seat next to them and ask them, impeccably politely, to excuse me please so I can sit there
You sound ruder tbh

I travel on trains every other day and whilst people do plonk bags on seats, spread their stuff out and choose to sit in the aisle seat, I’ve never had someone be huffy or rude about letting me into a seat or moving their bags
Me too , its a non issue

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

53rdWay · 09/02/2019 12:00

Me too , its a non issue

So if it hasn't happened to you, it can't ever have happened to anyone?

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 09/02/2019 12:02

I was once on a very busy train and a young woman had her not that big bag and her feet on the seat. People asked her to move and she said she had booked two seats so she could spread out. Stuck her headphones in, hood up, refused to engage. Guard couldn't shift her either. The whole carriage was united in looking daggers at her.

lljkk · 09/02/2019 12:04

I can be pretty assertive about this. If someone huffs & puffs, well they deserve to be miserable. Not my fault.

Lockheart · 09/02/2019 12:06

@BirdsGottaFly you have options aside from taking up a wheelchair space or blocking 3 seats which people could sit on.

a) Fold it and put it in the luggage rack

b) Stand in the vestibule with it if you don't want to fold it.

Why should one pram take up three seats?

bruffin · 09/02/2019 12:07

So if it hasn't happened to you, it can't ever have happened to anyone?

No,but 40 years of communting tells me its a non issue Grin
This week i have finally started to commute to the West End train and tube, it would nice to get a square inch to myself , let alone a seat.

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2019hereicome · 09/02/2019 12:09

I commute daily by train but due to my working hours the trains I get aren’t never busy so I keep my bag beside me.

The other night for some reason my train home was super busy, I think there was an event on, and I wouldn’t of dreamed of leaving my bag beside me. That is absoloutly the height of rudeness. Yanbu

bruffin · 09/02/2019 12:12

Missmaisel,
Being punched in the face is not the norm, Im talking about people making an issue about asking to move a bag or getting the window seat.

Stop making this about you

MissMaisel · 09/02/2019 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bruffin · 09/02/2019 12:18

Missmaisel
The grin was about thought that in 40 years of commuting , that i know nothing about what goes on on trains
Do you often find misogynistic violence funny?

What has misogyny got to do with it, last week my niece got attacked on tube by a group of teenage girls intent on trouble, came on hitting people with newspapers then kicked and hit my niece "because she was white and wont fight back" make that what you will!

bruffin · 09/02/2019 12:22

The norm is not being punched in the face for asking for a seat. Why would you assume that.
Millions of people commute everyday with no incidence, that is the norm

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