Hogging seats on trains

[woollyheart]

Because of a family emergency, I've been on the train a lot this past week.

A lot of people hog extra seats by putting their bags on them, or by sitting on the aisle seat so people can't get to the window seat. I think this is fair enough if there are plenty of other seats available.

But when they try to continue hogging extra seats when there are loads of people standing, I think they are extremely rude.

Surely, if there are people standing, you move your bags so they can sit. If you are in an aisle seat, you either stand up and let them through to the window seat, or slide across and let them have the aisle seat.

If they have to ASK you to move, you should apologise and make space for them.

I've seen people having to be asked to move, and not even acknowledging the person asking, never mind apologising. Or making a huge huff and puff about the whole thing. As if the rest of us are unreasonable to want a seat for a 2 hour journey.

Am I missing something?

I really think women getting angry with each other doesn't solve male violence.

Violent males would use any excuse to kick off though in lots of curcumstances so there is a limit to how relevant it is to the content of the thread as I don't think people getting attacked because they ask someone to move their bag is common place. I'm sure if it's happened to you it would be scary in future, and there are often drunks on trains during the day particularly cross country ones ime . I think commuter trains less so although the ones I get have significantly more men than women on them.

The fact you assumed I was grinning because someone was punched in the face actually makes you the unpleasant person on this thread.

Everyone’s personal experience is by definition limited to themselves. So anyone trying to make sweeping statements based solely on their own personal experience, that denies anyone else’s personal experience, is wrong.
I hjavent denied anyone elses experience. But those experiences are extremely rare, and not the norm, as i said million people commute every day without being punched in the face.

I confess, I also put my bag on the seat next to me. If people ask, I always move it if there are no other seats. But too many people plonk themselves down next to you, then put on their tinny headphones, tap furiously on their beeping phones or nudge you with their smelly, drunken bodies. I once had to get help to remove a drunken, snoring young woman from the aisle seat next to me, so I could get off the train. She swore at everyone as we did it.

How about those people who put their bags on the floor in a 4 seater? Leaving you with no leg room. Or the families who sit around you, watching happily as their kids climb on you, kicks you or just taps away at a game withe the sound turned up?

Perhaps if EVERYONE was more polite and considerate, we would all benefit.

I often see ladies in their 40s-50s sitting on the aisle side with an empty window seat. If asked to move up they stand up to let you in so it must be something about wanting the aisle seat. Maybe they don't want to feel trapped or need easy access to the loo?

I dread getting stuck next to a chatty person or someone who invades my space so I keep my bag on the seat if there are plenty of empty ones. i move it when space gets tight. I also don't like people with dogs sitting there as even when the dog is on the floor it smells very strong in a small space and bits of hair drift everywhere!

bruffin ableist violence is NOT “extremely rare.”
We are talking about being punched in the face on a train by a stranger for asking for a seat! That is not the norm, however you try to dress it up.

I don't mind if people prefer the aisle seat. I prefer the window seat, so it's fine by me if they stand up to let me into it.

I do mind when people feel themselves entitled to both seats, through a combination of bag-spreading and cultivated obliviousness at the world around them.

sitting on the aisle seat so people can't get to the window seat

This isn't hogging seats. Well it is, it's hogging the aisle seat. But if I get there first, I get to choose and I prefer the aisle seat. I'm more than happy to let you have the window seat.

As for the bags, you just tell them to move them. Job done.

Except for the entitled women who refused to move their suitcases for me a few months ago and I had to sit backwards, which I dislike. Fortunately I was able to get a forward facing seat at the next stop.

Just seen the very last post - it's usually women who need an extra seat for their bags. The men need the space for their elbows (and manspreading generally of course).

Almost all my (daily) train travel is late at night. Obviously my experience is going to be different from someone commuting at 7am.

Clearly yes and I can see the trains that you travel on probably feel unsafe. I'm sure on the ones I travel on you would be quite happy to ask to sit on a seat with a bag without thinking the half asleep commuter was going to attack you.

So we are actually talking about completely different scenarios, as is often the case on MN.

No, but it is a bit ridiculous to then apply your quite foul sounding train journey and awful experiences to other scenarios.

On the trains I travel on it would be ridiculous to not ask to pass to get to a seat or sit on one with bags. The ones you describe I'd probably drive instead cos thankfully I have a car avoid sitting at all tbh on any seat and stand as close to where the guard is as possible .....!

I’ve booked two seats for long journeys before so I can spread out, is that wrong?

But why should you ask to sit on a seat with bags in the first place? You're not asking the bag-owner to do you a favour. Much better to be assertive - get their attention, point at bags, say "Excuse me, I need to sit there," don't make out like it's the start of a negotiation.

I have never yet picked up someone's bag myself and launched it into the overhead storage, but I know people who have!

I’ve booked two seats for long journeys before so I can spread out, is that wrong?

No, if they are really booked.

Yes, if you just bought two tickets with no assigned seats.

You can't win with a pram, go in the bicycle/wheelchair/disabled but and your vilified. Take up space in the carriage and you'll have someone else complaining.

The easiest way to win with a pram is to fold it so it takes up the least room possible.

I asked a young woman to move her bag so I could sit down on a busy train when I was 8 months pregnant. No other seats were available and she refused saying she had nowhere else to put it.

I always sit in the aisle seat. If you don’t know the terror of being sexually assaulted whilst being pinned into a corner with no where to go then I’m happy for you.

I'm really sorry you experienced this but FFS completely irrelevant to the thread. Why do posters always feel the need to do this.

When I commuted regularly I would sit on the aisle seat rather than be squashed in the window seat by typically some larger bloke with no awareness, but would always move straight away to let someone in and keep an eye on those around me. My friend on the same line was assaulted sitting by the window on her commute on a packed train so I was conscious of this. Yes there are many many selfish people though.

i just said it’s a very insensible thing to come into a thread about misogynistic violence, disabled violence, and sexual assault and start acting in the dismissive “well it’s not a problem for ME so who cares” way that you and some other posters have done.

This is a thread about people taking up extra space on a train you've told someone else they're massively projecting, but actually that's you.