I think AIBU...about OH drinking I'm while pregnant

[ithinkimbeingsilly]

I do think I'm being unreasonable here, so posting for traffic to see if any others felt the same way and how you made yourselves feel better about it.

Pre-pregnancy I would love to go out for drinks, cocktails etc with my DH. I obviously can't do that now.
He mentioned yesterday that work colleagues are organising him birthday drinks, and for some reason I have ended up a bit upset by it.
I think I am feeling isolated because I can't do this right now. I've told him it made me sad. He went out with them at Christmas and got in the worst state I've ever seen him in, but it was Christmas, so nevermind. He has been for a social drink since. I know they are organising these drinks for him, but I feel a bit shit that I haven't been given a thought with an invite and also, that I have to stay at home on my own while he goes out and does the things he knows I enjoy but of course have given up.

I should add that he doesn't go out a lot so I feel horrible about how I'm feeling. The pregnant wife at home who can't join in the fun.
Most of my friends have young families so I can't invite them round really, and my best friend lives away.

So how did you go about stopping yourself feeling mopey and isolated when you were in this position? I love my DH to bits and don't want to be a ball and chain that stops him enjoying himself, but I also don't want to feel resentful about it. We have chatted so he knows I feel left out.

"It sucks missing out."

Which Op might not be if she never would have been invited.

If people used to go out drinking and then all of a sudden one can't but the other resumes, it is natural to feel like you are missing out, diddl

You can still go out though!

Why aren't you answering wether you would have normally got an invite or not?

Why aren't you answering wether you would have normally got an invite or not?

I have been invited out in the past (not every time) just as he gets invited out to some of my nights out. But it doesn't really mattee as thats not what I was getting at. I said in my first post I knew I was being unreasonable and asked what other people did for themselves so they didn't feel isolated from things during the course of pregnancy

Why does he have to get so drunk? Is it not possible to go out and have a nice time while just having a couple of drinks?

I felt this. So much.

Prior to being pregnant, had no problem with OH going off with the lads or meeting up with a mate and having a few drinks.

Pregnancy though? Hormones? God we had some awful rows and I look back on them and realise I was being entirely dramatic. But it really got to me. I found the lack of freedom during pregnancy hard to cope with and that was just another thing I couldn't do 🙄

Try your best not to get upset. Do stuff that you wouldn't be able to do with him around. Paint nails, watch shit tv/movies, eat takeaway etc. Just don't sit there moping 😂 easier said than done, I used to find it so hard to sleep without OH so him not being there wasn't like I could sleep through it 🙄😂😂

I think YABU. I'm pregnant and yes it can be a but crap not joining in the drinking but I'm still going along to parties. Actually I'm enjoying not being hungover! It's also made me realise just how much people drink. Its quite sad really how much people rely on it to have a good time.

It's a small price to pay for growing your child and there's loads of alcohol free drinks to choose from so you can feel Included

Of course you can go, he's your partner.
Just have soft drinks.
You might need to have a good look at your attitude towards alcohol if you feel you can't go out or have fun without it!

I think you’re being unreasonable. You both should be able to go out and do things without each other, him with work colleagues or friends, and you the same.

But it doesn't really mattee as thats not what I was getting at.

It might not be to you. But other posters where assuming you usually would and were being left out.

Maybe not @EstrellaDamn but I think it's a nice gesture and shows a bit of solidarity to abstain for the 9 months that your partner is carrying your child.

Fair enough, I think it's a pointless sacrifice.

I understand where you're coming from with this, I'm currently pregnant with our second child. I always feel resentment when my husband is able to go on nights out and go out drinking while I'm at home not being able to do the same and just feeling knackered and generally a bit shitty. I just try and distract myself as all my friends are also parents so can't really come over to keep me company. I usually get myself some chocolate or a takeaway and watch either a film or a good series. Or sometimes I just get an early night and go to sleep. I always feel so left out and isolated though so I completely understand your feelings xx

@ithinkimbeingsilly you are being silly but I have been exactly the same once or twice throughout pregnancy. Think what you're feeling is totally normal! Do something nice for yourself the night he goes out, warm bath, takeaway and favourite Netflix series. Won't be long until you're back to enjoying cocktails OP x

I felt like this a few weeks ago, I'm 17wks pregnant. In a resturant there weren't any interesting non alcoholic offerings and DH ordered a beer. A couple next to us were drinking white wine and I had a rush of we will NEVER be that carefree couple sharing a bottle again. I had a little freak out and was irrationally cross about the beer. I felt infinitely better for talking to DH about it