Here’s an update for you:
I wasted over four years on this guy. I came under many usernames as I thought he was stalking MN to see what I posted. He would actually just use my phone at night and use what I had posted as ammunition. Apparently I was abusive as I once asked on here what to do as he had seriously let him self go, visited my family high, stinking of BO in old jogged with his gut sticking out. He told his family friends that I had fat shamed him. He left out that I had posted it anonymously and that he should have never had known. He barred me from using MN.
Reading back a few threads today (which have been hard to find due to numerous name changes over the years) which were based upon him being a cocklodger, lazy, gas lighter, controlling and pages of LTB.
Luckily I finally got rid. I wasted my mid twenties on this guy but I’m very glad to all the wiser ladies on MN who was able to voice above his that I’d be much better for LTB.
In this post like many others it was pointed out that a new relationship should not have had so many arguments. He would constantly gaslight me that I was the problem, and that if I had proof he was lying, he would justify it with not wanting to upset me.
I think we moved on from this issue as he promised me that he had only hid his ex being his plus one (which apparently he didn’t know she’d be there until the day - they looked VERY happy together in those photos!) as he knew it would have upset me. It would have upset me as I was ‘with’ him for a whole year when I first met his mum, who thought I was a ONS when I stayed over..
I was reading a thread today which the OP had pages of ‘LTB’ which made me reflect how my life would have been different if it wasn’t for MN.
Here’s the main update: my Ex would say that I wanted him to be perfect and the perfect man didn’t exist. I was the one causing the arguments and the fall outs. After throwing out the loser as I thought I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life, I met the love of my life. A man who respects me and adores me. A man who couldn’t wait to introduce me to his family and friends. A man who works hard, puts me first and is honest all day long. But most importantly, I’ve not felt the need to post about him on AIBU. Now I use mumsnet for its intended use… as a mum to a newborn 😁
I cannot thank what would have been hundreds of women advising me to leave. I had became isolated from the real women in my life. I have nightmares how life could have been. Thank you.