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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really pissed off!

106 replies

Alfiesmom74 · 07/02/2019 22:26

I have a neighbour who’s 2 DC go to the same school as my DS. As I drive and she doesn’t I take her to take the kids to school morning and afternoon. She’s not English but she speaks good English. I’ve decided to have a new car and I’ll be going from a 5 seater to a 4 seater which isn’t a problem as I can take the kids and pick them up on my own. My DH brought my new car home to show me it’s only a couple of years old and it’s a car I’ve wanted for ages (Fiat 500). Anyway we pull up outside my house and DH is outside in my new car and as we pull up I say “oh no way here’s my new car” and she looks at it and says “it’s shit”!!!! She definitely said that as she said it twice. I was absolutely gobsmacked and I told her how rude she is. I really feel now like telling her that if it’s that shit she won’t want her DC travelling in it then. It’s quite a walk from our houses to the school and she never offers petrol money or anything. AIBU to tell her in future she can walk to school??

OP posts:
Poloshot · 08/02/2019 08:54

While this is an amusing reaction, she's a CF of the highest order. In the morning get your DS in the car and take him to school. If her kids come out send them back to their front door

Iloveacurry · 08/02/2019 08:55

She’s a CF. It’s really her problem to get her kids to and from school, not yours.

My DH has a Fiat 500 too, we love it 😊

Wallsbangers · 08/02/2019 08:59

I mean, she's right (sorry OP!) but it's so rude to say it. I'd be telling her to sort her kids our herself in future.

leafinthewind · 08/02/2019 09:00

FreshBoomBatImaTouchIt I live in the Netherlands and that made me laugh out loud.

Our landlord patted DH's belly the other day and suggested he might need to get to the gym...

PurplePepperEater · 08/02/2019 09:03

It’s a lump of metal, I just don’t get how you can be offended that she doesn’t like your new lump of metal 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bluntness100 · 08/02/2019 09:07

What did she say when you told her it was rude?

And I'm sorry but it is funny though. 🤣

Clairaloulou · 08/02/2019 09:08

@StoneofDestiny has a very good point...

diddl · 08/02/2019 09:17

"It’s quite a walk from our houses to the school "

Not your problem is it?

How long have you already done the school runs for her?

Better weathier is hopefully on the way-so why not stop now anyway?

CatnissEverdene · 08/02/2019 09:18

How on earth did you end up doing this in the first place?

Her kids, her responsibility. Your kids, your responsibility.

It's that simple.

Alfiesmom74 · 08/02/2019 10:07

You are completely right. She never says anything nice about anyone or anything but I usually ignore it but this time I really took offence. I think jealousy does come into sometimes as she doesn’t like it if anyone has anything new.

OP posts:
Alfiesmom74 · 08/02/2019 10:09

Do it.....get the car, buy the shoes, eat the cake and make no apologies to anyone!

OP posts:
Alfiesmom74 · 08/02/2019 10:16

It’s about a 25 minute walk and I’ve been doing it about 4 years. It’s never really bothered me as I was going anyway but it does get a bit inconvenient if I need to pop to the shop or anything on the way back. Thing is her children are lovely and well behaved so I do feel as if I’m spiting them a little bit. She is going to have to walk at pick up because I’m not going to fetch them when my own DS walks down to me.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 08/02/2019 10:19

I'd be tempted to point out the car is obv good enough when she needs something.

Juells · 08/02/2019 10:20

PurplePepperEater
It’s a lump of metal, I just don’t get how you can be offended that she doesn’t like your new lump of metal

I don't get how you don't get that the OP is doing someone a favour. I had a BF I used to transport everywhere and he made a real snarky remark about my then car. I said "It's better than your car" and he said in a gotcha way "Ha ha I don't have a car!". I said "exactly" and the lifts stopped from then on. He was as thick as mince to have bitten the hand that was driving him everywhere and the same applies to the OP's neighbour. Grin

UnleashTheBulsara · 08/02/2019 11:09

I don't have a car and if other people give me and ds a lift somewhere I tend to reciprocate with either cash for fuel or doing other favours for them.

I have NEVER insulted someone else's car. It's no different from saying Your house is ugly or Your garden's a tip (even if those things were true).

I know the kids are nice but honestly, who thinks it's OK to disparage someone else's things when that thing is used for their benefit? That's just stupid.

diddl · 08/02/2019 11:12

"It’s about a 25 minute walk and I’ve been doing it about 4 years. "

I thought it was going to be a long way!

catlady3 · 08/02/2019 11:37

I obviously don't know your neighbour so can't know what she was thinking, and I do agree that she was being rude.

Having said that, I would like to make the following case:

I was once travelling by motorcycle with my partner when mine got too wet (it's a delicate little flower) and broke down somewhere in Austria. The mechanic refused to repair it because it had "been ridden in the winter" (???), so it needed to be recovered, taken back to England, all very time consuming and annoying. In the meantime, the RAC offered me a courtesy car - a Fiat 500.

Now I don't know why anyone would think a Fiat 500 is in any way an adequate replacement for a motorcycle, but whatever. I wasn't allowed to take the car to Croatia, which was next on the itinerary, so I was a little stuck but remembered I have friends in the South of Germany so my partner went on to Croatia and off I went to cross the Alps. In a bloody Fiat 500.

I don't even know how to describe the experience, except I felt like I was crawling up the mountain so slowly, I was probably going backwards half the time.

Once I arrived in Germany, having survived the very nervy crossing, the motorway experience was no better. Zero acceleration, to the point where it felt quite unsafe to try and overtake even agricultural vehicles so I was essentially just stuck in the slow lane.

I've also experienced the Fiat 500 using those car sharing / rent by the hour type services, and I found it to be an absolute nightmare. Performance aside (and I get that it's meant to be a little city car that's easy to park etc.), it was profoundly uncomfortable to sit in. I'm 5' 2'' so you'd think a tiny car would suit me, but I found it to be too small (elbows and legs forever bumping into things) and too large (very hard to reach pedals - how is it even possible!!!) at the some time.

Long story short, I have developed a rather irrational antipathy towards the Fiat 500, to the point where, in the months following my Alpine adventure, I'd should "another bloody Fiat 500!" whenever I'd see one in London. And there's a lot of them so my partner really enjoyed that phase. In my opinion - and I realise this is entirely MY opinion - the Fiat 500 is the shitest car ever made and I don't understand why it exists.

You can see this car is capable of stirring very strong feelings, and I just wonder if maybe, just maybe, your neighbour is one of Us - those who have been scarred by the 500. In fact, when I read your post, I thought "oh gawd, is she talking about me?" (then remembered I have no children).

Whatthefunk · 08/02/2019 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whatthefunk · 08/02/2019 11:57

Sorry clearly put this in the wrong place...

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/02/2019 12:02

Loving the last 2 posts. Random toe nails and broken down motorcycles!

She’s also going to have to walk there once your ds goes to secondary. By the sound of it he’s older.

BeanTownNancy · 08/02/2019 12:05

A couple of years ago my husband and I went on holiday to Italy with my dad and his girlfriend - my dad had booked 2 hire cars but we didn't know what they were when we picked them up; the disappointment on my husband's face when he was handed the keys to our white Fiat 500 compared to my dad's significantly bigger car was pretty funny.

However, after a week of barrelling up and down the narrow roads and winding hills and valleys of Tuscany, my husband was absolutely in love with the 500 and shed a little tear as he gave it back. They are awesome cars.

Juells · 08/02/2019 12:06

I wouldn't waste another second of headspace on her, she'd be walking to school from now on.

No good deed goes unpunished.

TinselAndKnickers · 08/02/2019 12:09

"And so is your attitude, shove your lifts up your arse"

I also laughed at the bluntness "it's shit" Grin proper Inbetweeners material that is

RedSkyLastNight · 08/02/2019 12:15

She might have spent the last 4 years wondering how to say she'd rather walk without offending you (wouldn't even occur to me to drive if school was 25 minutes walk away - actually DC's junior school was 25 minutes walk away, and we used to cycle or walk). And finally she has a get out clause!

dustarr73 · 08/02/2019 12:20

She might have spent the last 4 years wondering how to say she'd rather walk without offending you (wouldn't even occur to me to drive if school was 25 minutes walk away - actually DC's junior school was 25 minutes walk away, and we used to cycle or walk). And finally she has a get out clause!

I doubt that,the op says the cf is not backward in coming forward.