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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Really pissed off!

106 replies

Alfiesmom74 · 07/02/2019 22:26

I have a neighbour who’s 2 DC go to the same school as my DS. As I drive and she doesn’t I take her to take the kids to school morning and afternoon. She’s not English but she speaks good English. I’ve decided to have a new car and I’ll be going from a 5 seater to a 4 seater which isn’t a problem as I can take the kids and pick them up on my own. My DH brought my new car home to show me it’s only a couple of years old and it’s a car I’ve wanted for ages (Fiat 500). Anyway we pull up outside my house and DH is outside in my new car and as we pull up I say “oh no way here’s my new car” and she looks at it and says “it’s shit”!!!! She definitely said that as she said it twice. I was absolutely gobsmacked and I told her how rude she is. I really feel now like telling her that if it’s that shit she won’t want her DC travelling in it then. It’s quite a walk from our houses to the school and she never offers petrol money or anything. AIBU to tell her in future she can walk to school??

OP posts:

Donmesswime · 08/02/2019 01:16

If someone called my car shit, the following morning, when they were expecting me to take their kids to school I'd be like 'sorry, my car is shit'.

theworldistoosmall · 08/02/2019 01:33

If you didn't drive her kids to school how would she get them there? What happens if you are too ill to drive?
She needs to explore these other options regardless of what she thinks of your car.

enterpasscode · 08/02/2019 07:29

Missing the point of the thread somewhat but why would you change from a five seater to a fiat 500 when you have growing DC? They are really not family friendly cars.

Fairylea · 08/02/2019 07:31

I can’t believe you take her kids to school and back for her everyday! There’s no way I would do that.

Greyhound22 · 08/02/2019 07:44

I would have said straight away 'well you won't want your kids travelling to school in it will you?'

Seriously though why have you got into the situation of taking someone's DC to school every day? I try to avoid stuff like this like the plague - I'm the same to be honest - I got caught in a similar situation and it ended up being my responsibility to sort the other persons life out whenever I had a day off etc.

FreshBoomBatImaTouchIt · 08/02/2019 08:01

Greyhound I had similar. I used to take my neighbours dd to school. I didn't mind as I was walking past and she liked chatting and playing with ds and pushing dd in her buggy. It got to the point where her and her mum would be waiting for me and her mum handing me her bag etc. I really still didn't mind. However one morning ds woke up was sick and had diarrhoea. I rang her to tell her and she said "Ok who's taking dd to school then?" I said "Well you are aren't you?" Then she asks who would take ds to school if I'm ill? My answer was "You hopefully!" That's when she told me she starts work at 9.30 so would never have time. She'd got herself a job without even asking me if I would take her kid to school on a permanent basis! Just assumed I would. I told her to make her own arrangements and walked a different way after that. Never spoken since and that was 8 years ago

Original poster

Alfiesmom74 · 08/02/2019 08:05

My husband has an estate car so I only need a little car for me and DS plus DS is in year 6 now so only have to take him to school until July then he goes to high school and probably won’t want to be seen dead in a car with me by then.

I think what I’m going to do is carry on taking her kids to school in a morning but she’ll have to pick them up herself. I park on the shop car park and DS walks from school to meet me (his little bit of freedom). So I don’t want to be walking to the school just to fetch her DC.

Just looked at Fiat 500 twitter and it is hilarious (I deffo don’t fit into that category)!

OP posts:

Seline · 08/02/2019 08:08

Lol I also laughed.

Floralhousecoat · 08/02/2019 08:15

Did she apologise for her rudeness op? She sounds an ungrateful and rude twat.

JellyBears · 08/02/2019 08:21

Is she Ductch? My friend is notorious for being blunt bless her. Half the time she doesn’t realise she’s said anything.

londonrach · 08/02/2019 08:32

She walks from now on. Its a pretty car and love one but wont as owned fiat before but sadly although she shouldnt have said it you see what she means. However no more lifts to her. Rude and doesnt give any petrol money. Cf!

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 08/02/2019 08:35

The only thing unreasonable is how big a mug you are providing a free taxi service.

Juells · 08/02/2019 08:35

She's very entitled, and has lost sight of the fact that you're doing her a favour. Lifts for her and her children would have ended the second someone said that to me. You're too nice, and she knows she can overstep your boundaries with no repercussions for her.

I bet if you think back, this won't be the first time she's crossed the line into actual rudeness. Have a think about whether you want to do any favours for someone who doesn't give a shit about your feelings.

She sounds jealous.

Springwalk · 08/02/2019 08:35

WTAF! I would not be doing school runs without petrol money or acknowledgement in the first place.
Text her and say you are very sorry but your last school run for her will be today and from now on she will need to make her own arrangements.

The walk be good for the kids!
It will give her time to reflect on her lack of gratitude. CF!!!

Evennow · 08/02/2019 08:39

Perhaps she meant to say “sick” which I believe is a word of approval used by young people.

StrawberryBlondeRed · 08/02/2019 08:40

Where is your neighbour from OP? Maybe she was saying "is it" but her accent made it sound like she was saying "it's shit".

FreshBoomBatImaTouchIt · 08/02/2019 08:42

My sil is Dutch. She described me as short and fat with a good face to her brother on the phone. Right in front of me. She spoke English so not to appear as "rude".

thecatsthecats · 08/02/2019 08:46

OP, YABU because you reminded me of the time my FIL wound down his window as he was leaving our house to tell me I "should be getting a new car, surely" right where my car could hear him. (I, er, may get rather attached to my vehicles)

Rude git.

But YANBU because your fury reminded me to go out and get the car I want tonight, not that FIL will approve of. (My last car only conked out after a heroically long life for a citroen!)

GahWhatever · 08/02/2019 08:47

I'm wondering if the language difference is the issue.
You said 'No way here's my new car'
She empathised as it's a lot smaller and thought you were disappointed as you'd said 'no way' ; 'It's shit (ie you are disappointed with your DH so I'll empathize).

Or, she's trying to use vernacular that she's heard used as a positive and doesn't understand the slight inflective differences: urban dictionary very positive meaning

Either way in the context of your previous relationship and the fact that you are doing her a daily favour it seems unlikely that she would baldly insult you or your new car on purpose.

outpinked · 08/02/2019 08:47

An offer of petrol money would be nice but OP is already going there every day so expecting it is a bit odd, really does turn you into a taxi...

I would refuse to take her DC and if she asks why say “well you wouldn’t want them to be driven to school in my shit car now, would you?”

TheresaMay · 08/02/2019 08:48

Name changed for this comment...

My ndn has a dc at the same school as mine and I can’t drive for at least 6 weeks due to major surgery, I asked her to help with lifts to get dd home from school. I phrased it as only on the days she was intending to come straight home. She refused. Dh is dropping off at a childminder as I can understand mornings can be tough and have a rota of parents together for drop offs.

You’ve been so reasonable. In your place I would continue to take the dcs as it isn’t their fault she’s a gobby mare. But I’d be telling her you’re doing it for them not her.

Threewheeler1 · 08/02/2019 08:49

FreshBoom
Charming! And how thoughtful of her to use English!

NoArmaniNoPunani · 08/02/2019 08:51

Maybe the meant 'the shit' ie good

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/02/2019 08:52

FreshBoom
Yes, maybe the ndn is that blunt.

Interesting other posters think she may mean something other than fugly piece of poo. Perhaps it is her accent.

CoraPirbright · 08/02/2019 08:52

But what did she say when you told her it was rude?

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