To ask you to share your weird, irrational, petty hatreds?

[WickedWitchInTheCupboard]

I'll start...

It's incredibly immature and irrational but there is a certain (fairly common) name I cannot stand purely because it's the name of both a girl who bullied me when I was young and DHs ex, who is difficult.

I literally hate any mention of this name and automatically dislike anyone with it (ok, not really but in my head for a few moments I do!).

Another less petty but more bizarre one is that I HATE the tops of bottle caps scraping on my nails. It makes me want to be sick. Shuddering thinking about it right now!

Anyone else got any weird/petty/irrational dislikes?

James Arthur looks like he stinks of ham.

That bloody Senokot advert with really crap singing / lyrics. I think it was written by the director's wife and nobody had the guts to tell her it was shit (pardon the pun).

Mine are all language related, I think:

People who put apostrophe's in plural's. Even typing it out for demonstration purposes makes my skin crawl.

Corporate jargon/buzzword stuffing. Surely our winning strategy going forward should be to think outside the box and leverage our capabilities in ... just normal fucking English.

Posts online which go something like this:

"I don't eat carbs. Ever. Why?
Well I'm completely superior to all you carbohydrate munching dumbasses and can't stand the thought of me or my children ever looking like any of you because did you know that one slice of white bread bloats you out so much it will take you two years of constant strenuous exercise to see your toes again. Ewwwww."

Okay, I'm paraphrasing a bit here but it's something about the a) unsolicited goady point which is b) reinforced to make the rest of us feel a bit more shit and c) them then carrying on like any of us have a crap in the first place.
And the rest of it's just rude.

Oh, I have way too many, mostly to do with grammar. I am a little ball of pent-up hatred most of the time.
I also hate people who sit at the table next to you in an empty café and, one I remembered today coincidentally: "The nation's second favourite dog is the Cockapoo" THAT'S NOT A BREED OF DOG.

People who hold their cutlery like a pen.
I dont know why but it enrages me.

Middle lane hoggers

*gave a crap

People who steer supermarket trolleys by placing both elbows and forearms on the front handle of the trolley, and crouch over it with their bum sticking out. Similarly, people who pull the trolley behind them (with it swinging randomly in all directions and bashing into each other) rather than pushing it. I want to harm them. Badly.I

Also, people - mostly men curiously - who when standing in a crowded environment like a supermarket, pavement, IKEA etc, stand with their hands on their hips and elbows sticking out. I deliberately bash into them.

Also, manspreaders on public transport.

I hate people.

Ebay "grouping things together to make it easier for you to pay" rather than just doing it all in one go. Freezes my fucking card when I'm trying to restock art supplies/Christmas shopping. Cunts.

Sweet potato fries. Just fuck off and come back with some chips.

Supermarket self-checkout thingies. THEY DON'T FUCKING WORK.

Seating at bus stops and in train stations which has been designed to be unfit for purpose. I understand that they don't want to risk a homeless person being comfortable, but ffs I can't get one buttock on most of those seats.

Cafes where they give you a mug of hot water with a stupid pissy stringy little teabag in it. Either make the fucking tea, milk and all, and bring it to me, or bring me a fucking teapot so I can do it my fucking self.

Socks that don't grip properly so they unravel and end up half-off inside my boots. This actually makes me want to have a full-on tantrum in the street. I still absentmindedly put shit socks on without thinking it through.

Theresa May's horrid little box jackets that don't cover her arse. I don't want to be aware of her arse. And her dreadful industrial jewellery. I know it's shallow and unfeminist of me but there it is.

People who performance-cough/sneeze. DH does it and its pure self-indulgence. Yes, I know, you've got a cold. No need to put so much VOICE into it.

Cafe toilets where there isn't enough room to wipe your arse without smacking your elbow on the wall and your thigh is jammed up against the sanitary bin.

One of my cats can't do the kneading thing without sticking his razor-sharp claws out. I've tried to intimate to him that he needs to do it differently but I don't have claws. I'm grateful for his affection but my stomach looks like corned beef.

Sandwiches without butter. Fucking savages.

People who walk whilst looking at their phone.Whether I'm walking towards them (and they don't see me, so I have to be the one to move out of the way); or I'm walking behind them (they do walk slower, they claim not to but I've tested my theory!) .... Just look up from the bloody phone for a few minutes! It's a glorious world, try to enjoy it.

Mind you, I pretty much hate everything to do with people's constant addiction to their mobile phones, walking with them or otherwise. Don't live life through your phone. Seriously.

I also hate bare feet, no matter how nicely pedicured. I think feet are an incredibly ugly way to end the human body, they're no longer useful in design and just look untidy. I'm watching our son, intrigued by my own behaviour - as a baby and toddler, his feet were cute. He's now 9 and they are still bearable. But at some point in the future, I'll consider them ugly - and I'm wondering at what age that will happen.

The smell of bananas, cucumbers and pineapples. Can’t eat any of them.

My ex MIL neatly folding my children’s clothes before putting them in the suitcase to come home. It irritates me because the clothes are all filthy and stink of her son’s house (which he chain smokes in) so WHY fucking bother to fold it all like it’s on display to sell in a shop?! To be fair she’s earned the nickname thrush with me and my friends (coz she’s an irritating cunt) so whatever she does will probably piss me off....

@NellWilson

Vocal fry.
Upspeak.
"Like" every other word.
Glottal stops.
Grace Dent.
Office jargon ie "drill down to the granular".
Nuns.

You're my people.

Incidentally I fucking hate that saying

Gwyneth Paltrow.
Kate Winslet.

@yolofish what's wrong with Winslet?!

People who take two steps inside a shop doorway then stop dead. Likewise, probably the same people who stop dead at the end of an escalator,to gaze around,or look at their phone,totally oblivious to the people piling up behind them.

A certain family member that uses FB/Insta/Snap filters and tries to pass them off as natural.

We know you don't look like that you silly cow, you don't have pig ears and a giant pink nose for a start 🐷

When market researchers call me at work. I don't want to do your bloody survey and when you do, they call again to do another survey

Netball, because all the horrible bitchy, stuck up girls in my school played netball.

People who walk slow p me off

If I accidentally scratch paper. Gives me that nails down a chalkboard feeling

Spoony fuckers.

hotwing everything! all that I'm so normal I had shepherds pie at my wedding and now suddenly I'm married to someone who calls himself Ned Rock'nRoll. sorry Kate Winslet if you're reading, am sure she is a really nice person. but just so fucking IRRITATING!!

Your / you're
They're / there / their
Snapchat filters make my teeth itch
Attention seeking on SM
Drivers who don't read road signs and then beep at YOU as if you're in the wrong
Cold callers at my door, despite me having a big sign on the letterbox stating "No cold callers" (even had one chap telling me "but I'm not trying to sell you anything!". Yes you are mate, your religion. I don't want it thanks)

Nodding along to most of these!
I used to have very long nails as a teen. I did it solely to piss off my mum who absolutely hated them. I regularly painted them and that annoyed my mum too as she hated the smell.

I can't stand: -
Annoying beepy machines. Ach shut up, I'll get to you when I can be arsed.
Fake accents on TV. Just hire an actor with the real accent! Fgs.
Loud people.
Dubstep.
People who continue arguing the point even when it's absolutely clear they're wrong.
Dogs.

I feel like I need to go and do something soothing now.

Misuse of the apostrophe.
Sandals/flip flops. I hate my feet and certainly don't want to see yours!
Hairy men wearing tank tops. Ewww.
Facial hair (especially long hipster beards).
Loud chewers.
Fucktards that cut in front of you while you're waiting in line to exit a highway. My time is no less important than yours.
People who wear too much lipstick and then leave smears on glasses or mugs.
Smokers and smoke.
Cilantro, fennel, anise, mushrooms, broccoli rabe, fish.
Vegans.
Gwyneth Paltrow.
I'm sure there's more, but I've gone on long enough!