DH still hasnt eaten dessert I made for our 4 year anniversary?

[Waterbottle1999]

Ok so I fully expect to be told that IABU about this . This post may be long and slightly windy, just so I dont drip feed.

My DH and I are saving as much as we can because we want to buy a new house next year. We decided that instead of going out to dinner, he will cook dinner and I'll make dessert.

I spent the whole morning baking from scratch an apple pie. It took so long because I had never made one before. I put it in the fridge and showed my DH the pie when he got home from work and he said he couldnt wait to try it. So the next day it was our anniversary so while he cooked dinner I got out the candles and a couple drinks.

Dinner was quite hearty and DH didnt feel like dessert afterwards but said he will have pie tomorrow. That's fine, I still had a piece and I thought it was pretty good!

So now onto the part where I'm a little bit annoyed. This apple pie has been sitting in the fridge for 5 days now and he either keeps forgetting to have some or doesnt feel like dessert. I took 2 slices into work for the girls in my area and he said jokingly "how come you're giving away my pie?".

So today he says he will take the pie into work but he forgets it. Again.

I just think it's a little rude to have not tried a little bit of it within 5 days?
Again, I'm probably just being petty.

Please be gentle with me

I would give him a final warning - eat it tonight or it goes in your tummy

I'd say 5 days in the fridge is the limit for apple pie.

It would annoy me too, OP. Quite rude of him not to have eaten it.

Why don’t you ask him why he hasn’t made the effort to try it?

This is not about the pie, is it? It's about the fact you feel that the effort that went into making it is un-noticed and un-appreciated. Up to you whether you have a conversation with him to explain that you feel hurt, or just eat the rest of the pie and understand that he's not doing it on purpose.

I'd be more upset about him playing games on his phone through the film. But all that does is go to show that we are all different. The not eating the pie wouldn't really bother me, I'd have stuck it in the freezer for a later date.

Have you told him how upset you are about him not trying it? Maybe he just hasn't realised that it needs eating asap? He might think that he's got plenty of time left to eat it?

Is he normally very loving, caring and respectful of you, OP? Is this pie episode a one off, or part of a pattern of not valuing your efforts, not being supportive, always just doing his own thing, being inconsiderate?
I think you should sit him down, tell him you made a special effort with the pie and that you feel hurt and rebuffed that he hasn’t even bothered to try some.
His reply will be very revealing of his true feelings.
He will either be horrified that he’s hurt your feelings and be hugely apologetic, or he will try to gaslight you that it’s no big deal and say you’re “too sensitive” or fussing about nothing.
I get the feeling he wasn’t much into your anniversary celebration. No meal out, no treating you to anything special, distracted on his phone all through the film, and then gets to have sex - which sounds like all he wanted from the evening. Did you get any of your needs met, OP?
Did you feel loved, cherished, cared about, did you feel the two of you were celebrating your special day together? I have my doubts.

Good you all enjoyed it. Try crumble next time. Far easier.

I feel for you OP. My husband is not a big eater generally and in particular never eats dessert after meals. It used to hurt my feelings when we first got together when he wouldn’t even taste desserts I had made. I came to realise that it wasn’t a rejection of me or my love, just that he wasn’t going to eat something he wasn’t hungry for (probably why he is still as slim as he was when we got married).

I now know that a sweet treat offered after a meal is of no interest to him but the same thing offered with a cup of tea while he watches an afternoon movie or for ‘elevenses’ will disappear in a flash and he will probably have another helping!

As a dessert that is easy to make, keeps well and might appeal to his tastebuds I recommend the classic chocolate biscuit fridge cake, made a bit more sophisticated by using dark chocolate and adding lots of nuts and dried fruits to the mix.

I don’t think he wants to eag it 5 days?

He didn’t have to eag loads of it, just a thin slice (well as thin as you can get wih an apple pie). I think it’s rude and I say it as a low carber who doesn’t eat “normal” cakes
People have baked for me (altered recipes) and I’ve always had a slice, gave to my daughter, etc.

Really he should have had a little slice after the meal however full he was.

He didn’t have to eag loads of it, just a thin slice (well as thin as you can get wih an apple pie). I think it’s rude and I say it as a low carber who doesn’t eat “normal” cakes 

Nah.. those are both really unhealthy food mentalities. Stop eating when you're full. Don't cram dessert in. He doesn't fancy pie, it doesn't sound like he often has pie as OP says he prefers chocolate. He has celebrated their anniversary watching a pretty good-awful film and cooking a meal; and it sounds like everyone enjoyed themselves.

Take the pie to work if you want to see people eat it. Don't pressure him. It was supposed to be a nice gesture that you made dessert, it didn't work out because you had a big meal. You'll turn it into something horrible if you get all passive aggressive about it.

There's a good chance you'd have felt worse if he'd had a mouthful to keep you happy and no more, anyway, you wouldn't know if he actually liked it. At least you know that it's not that, and he simply doesn't really fancy pie.

DP makes gorgeous desserts every now and again. Brownies, sticky toffee puddings, cakes... they are to die for. He still sometimes makes them and I don't eat them. They aren't common and I always intend to have some but sometimes you just don't fancy it. It's not personal.

I didn't say he had to have it straight after the meal but he couldn't have it within last 5 days? Really?

Women are so weird about food.

LTB.

“I think you should sit him down, tell him you made a special effort with the pie and that you feel hurt and rebuffed that he hasn’t even bothered to try some.
His reply will be very revealing of his true feelings.
He will either be horrified that he’s hurt your feelings and be hugely apologetic, or he will try to gaslight you that it’s no big deal and say you’re “too sensitive” or fussing about nothing. ”

God almighty. Terrifying that people have such baggage.