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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP called me a slag

82 replies

nc8888 · 07/02/2019 10:11

DP and I had a very heated argument a few days ago which I'm not sure if we can move past.

At one point, he said that although 'he doesn't think it' Hmm - I'll never find anyone else and everyone is just going to assume I'm a chav and a slag because I had DS at 16.

Surely this isn't true??? I never would've thought about it like this but now I'm very conscious of it!

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 07/02/2019 10:14

why would he say it if he wasn't thinking that?
what a horrible thing for him to say, and it's not true, I wouldn't be prepared to try and get past that comment.

userschmoozer · 07/02/2019 10:14

No its not true, it sounds like he needs to undermine you to keep you with him. Thats his problem, not yours.

He has told you what he really thinks of you. Think about what you want from now on.

Floralhousecoat · 07/02/2019 10:15

Surely you mean ex do?

Prove him wrong by dumping him then find a man who treats you with respect.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 07/02/2019 10:15

I assume, he isn't your childs father ?

And frankly I wouldn't be in that relationship any longer .

I think my parting shot would be "Obviously your standards are low, but not as low as mine have been, OUT!'"

That really isn't something I would get past. Sorry.

Floralhousecoat · 07/02/2019 10:16

*ex dp

nc8888 · 07/02/2019 10:16

Just to clarify, he is the father and was also a teen himself when we had him! Confused

OP posts:
moofolk · 07/02/2019 10:16

What a twat!

As already stated. He's trying to make you feel shit, and more dependent on him.

Geminijes · 07/02/2019 10:17

Ignore your husband. It was horrible comment. The majority of people will just see you as a young Mum.

Is your husband your son's Dad? If so, then what does it make him?

FlagFish · 07/02/2019 10:18

What a horrible thing to say. If it’s a genuine one-off spoken in the heat of an argument I would be prepared to forgive him, but think carefully OP. Is there a pattern of him thinking he is better than you and you are lucky to be with him? How long have you been together?

FlagFish · 07/02/2019 10:19

Cross posted! Your update makes it even worse!!!

MeredithGrey1 · 07/02/2019 10:20

Well, he's right that some people might judge you for having a child at 16, but those people are just as horrible and judgemental as he is! Anyone half decent wont make snap judgements like that and the minority who will judge (and they do exist, no point pretending otherwise) aren't people you'd want in your life anyway.

I think anyone who uses any reason to say "you wont find anyone else" needs leaving. Its controlling, undermining and a way of putting you down and making sure you rely on him completely.

PumpedUpTermite · 07/02/2019 10:21

Lord, what a wanker.
I know it’s easy for us to say “leave” but honestly this man doesn’t respect you and he’s trying to belittle you.
Time to move on I think, the relationship has run its course.

Variousartists · 07/02/2019 10:22

It would be laughable but it’s not funny!

TrueFriendsStabYouInTheFront · 07/02/2019 10:23

My mum has my brother when she was 16 and has only ever slept with one man (my dad) her entire life! Only people who were thick as shit would make such a pathetic assumption.

Your partner sounds vile. He's tearing you down in the classic 'no one else will ever want you' way, that insecure abusive bastards do. Get rid.

Stardustinmyeyes · 07/02/2019 10:24

I've seen it said on here.
When someone shows you who they are believe them.
By saying that he's shown you exactly who he is and what he thinks of you.
If you are able to, leave him and find a person who loves and respects you because your Partner doesn't

Readysteadygoat · 07/02/2019 10:26

What a hypocrite!

moreofaslummythanyummy · 07/02/2019 10:26

Some people may judge you yes but they may also judge him for getting a 15 year old pregnant!
LTB Flowers

Drogosnextwife · 07/02/2019 10:27

What a complete fuckwit. Does he realise that he is calling himself a slag aswell?

arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2019 10:28

Whilst we all shout things we wish we hadn't in a heated argument sometimes, that goes way way beyond acceptable.

icannotremember · 07/02/2019 10:30

everyone is just going to assume I'm a chav and a slag because I had DS at 16

Your DH is a dick.

icannotremember · 07/02/2019 10:31

*DP, sorry

mayathebeealldaylong · 07/02/2019 10:31

What a load of bs! Having a baby with a man is very different from shagging around! I'm 31 with a 14 and far from a slag.
You know it will only get worse, right!
Whatever he does and says from now on next fight and he'll call you it again or worse.

Shoxfordian · 07/02/2019 10:33

Don't you mean your ex dp? He's a twat

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 07/02/2019 10:33

Jeez , can you get past it ?

I suppose we all say things in temper DP and I had a very heated argument a few days ago which I'm not sure if we can move past. was this a two way mud slinger ?

I'll never find anyone else and everyone is just going to assume I'm a chav and a slag because I had DS at 16. What he's ineptly saying is : 'stick with me, no one else will want you' … well that clarified your options Hmm

I'd have massive issues with this.

SandyY2K · 07/02/2019 10:35

I'm not sure I'd get passed that tbh. Indeed some may judge you... but even that judgment doesn't mean they'd think you're a s**g.

I have a colleague who had her DC at 15. She got pregnant at 14. I don't think that of her at all.

All I thought when she told me is that she started being sexually active early.

It's a sexist comment which would make me very angry.

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