DP called me a slag

[nc8888]

DP and I had a very heated argument a few days ago which I'm not sure if we can move past.

At one point, he said that although 'he doesn't think it' - I'll never find anyone else and everyone is just going to assume I'm a chav and a slag because I had DS at 16.

Surely this isn't true??? I never would've thought about it like this but now I'm very conscious of it!

Obviously I can't and won't defend what he said, however, if he apologised for the remark and it was purely in the heat of an argument then it's upto you whether you forgive him.

It also depends on whether you attacked him personally during the argument. I'm not saying you did but, obviously, if you were at each other's throats and just saying things you know would hurt the other then that's a different matter.

Welll he's just a prince amongst men isn't he.

Anyway, no what he means is he thinks it, because didn't you know it's different for women than men in his head?

And he's trying to tell you, he's the best you can get. Because he knows it's not and he's scared....

Such a strange thing to say specially as he is the one responsible for helping you get pregnant and you still together.
If it wasn't so awful it would be funny. No logic to his words.
Heat of the moment stupidity but hurtful all the same.
I'm not sure what he can say other than a heart felt apology.
Is he sorry?

X that stupid sod.

he's trying to tell you, he's the best you can get. Because he knows it's not and he's scared....

This 100%

Christ he's just delicious.

Does he think his son is a bastard too?

Has he no sense of the ridiculous, double standards, utter hypocrisy of his words?

Have a good think... do yu want/need this relationship? are you both sort of trapped in it because you both had a child at such a young age?

Whatver decision YOU come to be sure it is best for you, you won't do your son any real service staying with a man who may resent you and him for the way his life has turned out!

Best of luck thinking it all through.

I don't think I could be with a man who called any woman a slag, whatever the circumstances. Sexist and nasty.

Is your husband your son's Dad? If so, then what does it make him?

A stud probably............

Tell him so what No one cares.
I can assure you at no point in your life does anyone really give a darn at what age you had your child.
You stayed with the dad....so again so what that you had a baby young.
If he ever says it again, ask him when did he fail to realise we live in 2019.
Tell him he is old enough to be a granddad, but it doesn't mean he has to act like one.

Wow, a word has not been invented yet to describe your DP.

What a truly vile thing to say to you.

How old are you both now now?

What had you said to him before that?

@mummmy2017 he's only 21 and just for clarification, he was only a couple of years older than me when we had DS (he was 18!)

Lol... Woops though your child was 17,
Strike the old enough for grandad comment
But be careful, for him to say this means he thinks it... Stand up to him now.
Tell him 2019...
No one cares, except him....

Oh and mums net have a cork of a comment when anyone says something like this.
Did you mean to be so rude?
Then do not comment till they apologise.

Oh. My. God. It was a shitty enough thing to say when I assumed he wasn't your baby's father, but that he was the dad and said that is just... Wow.

He's shown you what he really thinks, on some level. He thinks you're a slag and he wants you to think you can't do better than him. You can.

My abusive ex would say similar things. The message was: “stay with me or you’ll be alone forever”. It’s common for abusers to say this stuff. I think once people start thinking this way about their partner, let alone voicing it outloud, you can’t unhear it. You can’t forgive it. Not really.

Hello OP your DP is a vile piece of crap for saying that to you. And incidentally the only "judgement" I make in regard to your having your DS at age 16 is that it is HIGHLY LIKELY you had much more energy than I did when having my DS at more than twice your age

I'll also be judging you if you don't seriously evaluate whether it's a good thing to keep a man who throws misogynistic shit at you in anger or not. You have your whole life ahead of you, please be careful who you spend those years with.

You carried and brought his son into the world, and he thinks that everyone will assume you are a chav and a slag?? Is he going to pass on this delightful thought to his son?

You are worth so much more than this.

So he's a slag too then?

I would never judge you, plenty of people were having sex at 16 they just didn't get pregnant then. My friend had her daughter at 16. She is a fine woman.

He is trying to control you by telling you he is the best you can get, he isn't by the way. He is scared he is going to lose you so will belittle you and make you believe that you will be alone.

I bet he's already got a history of bullying and belittling you. There may be some resentment in his head that he became a dad so young (though, you know, I doubt anyone forced him into having sex with you, or being careless WRT to contraception). Unless, as PP said, the context was a nasty argument where both of you were saying the most hurtful things you could think of, you would probably be better off cutting this man out of your life as much as you can. Do you live together? I know you have DC but, given that you are both very young it's possible that you both live with your own parents.

Wow he just showed you what he thinks of women and you. I could not get past that!

Did he commit rape?

Haven’t read the thread yet

You are far too young to face putting up with this shit for the rest of your life. It takes two people for someone to get pregnant!

Get out of that relationship, find someone who values you and does not judge you for something that was done by BOTH of you!