DP called me a slag

[nc8888]

DP and I had a very heated argument a few days ago which I'm not sure if we can move past.

At one point, he said that although 'he doesn't think it' - I'll never find anyone else and everyone is just going to assume I'm a chav and a slag because I had DS at 16.

Surely this isn't true??? I never would've thought about it like this but now I'm very conscious of it!

So he's a slag too then?

Pfft, 'course not. He's already re-written history as him being the White Knight. Her being a mum at 16 apparently had fuck all to do with him it seems.

I don't think I could get past it either OP. Sorry.

WTF? Fusioluxe

Try being a grown up and reading the thread, instead of making yourself look like an ignorant dick.

So, you were 18 and (possibly) 15 when you conceived. Does that make him a paedophile? Some what worse than having sex then (like lots of other 15/16 year olds do).

Fusioluxe what the fuck is that supposed to mean

So what you had a child at 16? Most girls I knew when I was 16 were sexually active. The only difference with the ones without a baby and you are they either used birth control successfully or they had a termination. I’m getting old and I can assure you I knew many girls of 16 who got pregnant but didn’t continue with the pregnancy
These double standards really piss me off. Does your partner consider himself a slag too?

As the OP had a child at 16, I wondered whether she had had sex at 15. Isn’t that considered rape in the UK?

My ex tried to play the there's nothing for you in this world card. That absolutely cemented my thoughts about leaving him.

To those posters responding to Fusioluxe, this was also my reaction.

She can speak for hereself, but I "held fire" on responding as I think the question relates to OPs age at the point of conception (if she gave birth at 16) and laws regarding statutory rape.

@Fusioluxe - No it’d be sexual activity with a child, not rape, that’s if the child is under 13.

I don't know exactly what Fusioluxe meant but I'm guessing perhaps statutory rape. If the OP was 16 when she gave birth, perhaps she was 15 when she got pregnant and therefore he is a rapist in the eyes of the law, given that the OP was not old enough to consent.

To be fair, I would be a bit judgy of someone who had 3 kids by the age of 20, (and yes, I know this unreasonable of me) but one kid at 16? No, I'd think the girl had been too young / pressured into it to insist on condoms or other birth control and I'd judge the man, not the woman, in that circumstance.

MonicaBellucci Thank you.

To the OP, it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do if he really feels that way, and you may possibly be better off without him if this sort of thing isn’t unusual.

OMFG.

I certainly wouldnt be thinking that of anyone who had a child at that age. He is not a very nice person. So is his opinion that he is with a slag? If he was mine, He'd be gone if so

Pocketfull Ah right, thank you.

It's not true.

They are more likely to judge him badly for taking advantage of a very young woman, and then abusing her.

Statutory rape is not a thing in the UK. It is an offence to have sex with someone under the age of 16, but only sex with someone 12 or under would be prosecuted as "sexual activity with a child" because the law acknowledges that a child 12 or younger cannot give consent. The law also acknowledges that two under-16s can have consensual sex without its being an offence.

In practice, an 18yo having consensual sex with a 15yo is not likely to attract any legal interest, unless the 15yo states she did not consent or the 18yo was in some kind of position of responsibility WRT her. I think the problem here is the DP's repulsive sexist attitude, not his legal status.

Just for clarification, I was 16 when I got pregnant and he was 18.

Urgh. How do people end up with men like this.

OP, I'd bet you can do rather better. Because for him to have said these things means he's thought about them at one point.

And I'd bet that if you took off any rose tinted specs and had a proper look at the relationship, you'd see other red flags too. (Take a look at the relationship board, plenty of info in the stickied posts at the top of the board.)

He’s a dick. He’s trying to undermine your confidence as he knows you’re too good for him.

Is having a baby at 16 ideal? No, but it’s not the end of the world.

I had my daughter at 21 and was a ‘young mum’. I’ve just had number 2 15 years later to an absolutely wonderful man. I have a very successful career.

Tell your dick of a partner to fuck right off. He’s hardly a prince, getting a 16 year old knocked up doesn’t cover him in glory.

You haven't said anything about your relationship with him, what's it like?

I agree with the person who said he knows you can do better than him and he's scared of that.

So he's being verbally abusive to keep you in line.

Actually I have the opposite view - to me anyone who births very young and brings up a child is an amazing capable person. My little sister gave birth at 17/18 after accidentally falling pregnant - while I was off at uni partying...she was at night school finishing her qualifications and juggling this with working during the day at a nursery as a way to ensure she had childcare while she worked. She was so dedicated to raising her daughter - I just have so much respect for her. So to me anyone that gives birth young and raises a child while they are still a child themselves...hats off to you - you clearly have an inner strength that makes you a very capable person.

He wants you to have no other options

Best thing you can do is find yourself a good career and make sure you always have the option of your family being just yourself and your child.