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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inviting someone else on holiday

94 replies

Carbosug · 07/02/2019 07:51

I've arranged to go abroad with a friend of mine for a few days over. Easter. The plan was to have some time on our own to catch up without family etc. She's now invited another friend of hers that I've never even met, saying she knows we'll really get along and friend has been a bit down lately.

AIBU to be really annoyed and feel she had no right to do this without consulting me?

OP posts:
PrincessConsuelaBananahamm0ck · 07/02/2019 07:55

YANBU. That would piss me off too.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/02/2019 07:56

Just a no from me

Miane · 07/02/2019 07:57

I’d be very annoyed about this and would tell her so.

lola006 · 07/02/2019 07:57

I would be annoyed too. It’ll change the dynamic of your trip. Are you considering cancelling, trying to meet her ahead of time, going a separate way once there...?

7yo7yo · 07/02/2019 07:57

I wouldn’t go

DoingMyBest2010 · 07/02/2019 07:58

YANBU - 3 is an odd number at the best of times. Someone will feel left out, no doubt.

Original poster
Carbosug · 07/02/2019 07:58

I'm thinking of pulling out and just losing my deposit. I'm really annoyed with her.

OP posts:
Kochicoo · 07/02/2019 07:59

YANBU, that's not fair at all. Even if you really like the other friend, it's not what you agreed.

EatingBreadAndHoney · 07/02/2019 07:59

I would tell her that I wouldn't be going now. Her friend is welcome to buy my ticket off me.

LagunaBubbles · 07/02/2019 07:59

You don't do this, you just don't.

Crockof · 07/02/2019 08:06

Yes and I know it's a cliche but threes a crowd. I would be annoyed

NashvilleQueen · 07/02/2019 08:09

Definitely not unreasonable. This would really annoy me and I probably wouldn’t go as a consequence.

cowfacemonkey · 07/02/2019 08:12

My friend does this all the time although it's always her daughter. Lovely girl but why she'd want to hang out with her mums friends at 18 I have no idea. Pisses me off every time

CalmdownJanet · 07/02/2019 08:16

I'd pull out too, what made her think you would want to go on holidays with Debbie downer than as the you've never met!! I mean "she's been a bit down" not your problem and hardly selling her as a great holiday companion

echt · 07/02/2019 08:18

Quelle pisser. Absolutely not OK.

FrancisCrawford · 07/02/2019 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aridane · 07/02/2019 08:22

Tell her - she
Can rescind invite to third party

Monny1 · 07/02/2019 08:23

I wouldn’t go and tell her why.

BloodyHellBeryl · 07/02/2019 08:24

I wouldn't be happy about it at all. I would offer to sell my ticket to the friend.
The very least that your friend could have done is consulted you before she invited the other friend.

LemonBreeland · 07/02/2019 08:24

I'm with everyone else, I would pull out and tell her why. It is so incredibly rude to invite someone else without even asking you.

Jeezoh · 07/02/2019 08:25

I wouldn’t go and would tell her why. It’s your leisure time and you should have a say in who you spend it with.

Could you transfer your deposit to another holiday rather than lose it altogether? Or ask your friend to get her friend to take your place?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 07/02/2019 08:27

Text/call her and say "Hi friend, this upcoming trip was supposed to be for the two of us to get away without our families along so that we could catch up. As you've invited someone else along, that has changed what the trip will be, so unfortunately, I will bow out and I wont be going. Your other friend can take over my space on the trip so long as my costs are refunded to me (or words to that effect). Let me know how you want to progress with this."

Juells · 07/02/2019 08:30

Like PP this would be a 'no' from me. I'd have visions of myself hanging around on the fringe of their tête-à-têtes like a sad teenager Grin

Whocansay · 07/02/2019 08:31

What they all said. I wouldn't want to go away with someone I don't know. Your friend is rude and presumptuous.

ScoobyCan · 07/02/2019 08:31

Where are you heading OP? For me it would depend on the logistics / dynamic of the hotel / Airbnb / hostel arrangements.

If for instance it was a cottage in the middle of nowhere to get under blankets and chat and drink red wine I might have a bit of a problem; but if it was Berlin / Paris / Rome / Ibiza where there's loads to do, I wouldn't.

Cottage in middle of nowhere you can't get away from Downer Deirdre (who may in fact be a hoot!); city break you can have space and time visiting places and meeting up later on in the day - I think I would still go.

I know it's different and it isn't what you'd originally planned but if possible try and look at pros and cons....