BBC breakfast feature about potty training

[Lizhd]

Was anyone else irritated by the feature on BBC breakfast this morning about children still not being potty trained by the time they get to school?
I accept that if that is what the figures show then there must be an element of truth it however........they only spoke to mums on the issue suggesting that if you are a busy working mum or a mum to multiple children then it is YOUR FAULT if you children potty train late. There was no mention of a fathers in the feature at all. Clearly fathers hold no parental responsibility when it comes to potty training!
(I am aware that not all children have fathers present but in the same mind not all children have monthers present)

SEND doesn't automatically mean children can't potty train when age expected - it just takes commitment

It is fantastic that your son achieved that milestone when he did, with commitment from both of you....but it doesn't follow that it 'just takes commitment' for all children with complex needs - some children will need more time and more input and some will have continence issues through to adulthood.

tbh it’s ridiculous that 4 year olds are starting school still in nappies unless there are other special needs or issues (examples already given by some posters on this thread). I do agree that some parents don’t see it as a priority. MOST (not all) NT children are capable of being mostly dry by that age.

There’s a big difference between a 2 year old and a 4 year old though and a 2 year old toddler still in nappies can hardly be compared to a child of school age! As long as they are reasonably dry by school what does it really matter?

DS1 didn’t talk until he was 2.5 so we didn’t even attempt potty training until he was 2.8 which was a complete fail, then tried again at 2.11 which also didn’t work. I was 35w pregnant again by then so decided to put it on the back burner until after DS2 arrived then did it successfully at 3.2. Who cares if we “should” have done it a month earlier 🤷‍♀️ As for kids in the “old days” of terry nappies being trained by 2, well in the “old days” half the community would rally round to take care of older kids when new babies arrived, these days some mums are on their own all day with young children. The support network is not the same.

It's not quite as simple as commitmet @Charmatt as I'm sure you are aware chuldre n with complex special needs are all different and just because your child toilet trained easily doesn't mean all children with SEND will

It's not quite as simple as commitmet @Charmatt as I'm sure you are aware chuldre n with complex special needs are all different and just because your child toilet trained easily doesn't mean all children with SEND will hmm

Actually, in my son's case, it was - he was ready, and while some children's complex needs do cause a barrier, my point was that my son's didn't and the assumption that SEND means children won't potty train at the age their peers do is wrong. It is symptomatic of writing off children with SEND all the way through their development. I understand my son's limitations but I also have high expectations for him where he can achieve and sometimes that takes commitment!

the assumption that SEND means children won't potty train at the age their peers do is wrong.

No-one has made that assumption, children (with additional needs or not) all develop at different rates - which is why it is ridiculous to say all children can do x by y age

sometimes that takes commitment!

Of course it takes commitment, but if a child cannot achieve it at a given age, or if a child never achieves that particular milestone, it does not mean that there has been a lack of commitment, it may mean that some of the things preventing that step forwards are insurmountable.

Unless there is a medical/development issue then there is no way a child should be in nappies when starting school and should be able to go to the loo independently.

As for the BBC slant on busy parents failing, we both work. Ft and DD was toilet trained by 2.5 years.

What if the medical/developmental issue was not identified until later (as is the case with many children of only just 4)?

There are no figures for how many of the children starting school are actually in nappies or are still having toilet accidents (so not fully trained) or whether those children do have any issues which could delay toileting (even in the survey linked to earlier)

I hate the implication that people women are too lazy to potty train, but I do agree with some of the points raised and ime younger children are often easier to train. They are generally more eager to please and are more susceptible to praise bribes and are less likely to have hang ups and fears about toileting. This is assuming they are physically ready of course but again ime most children are by 2.5. My first 4 DC were trained quickly and easily by 2.5, I left my youngest until she was almost 3 as she had sensory issues and poor muscle tone. She was a bloody nightmare! Probably in part because of her issues but I really feel she was more biddable when she was slightly younger. Aside from my own DC I am a foster mum and worked in a childcare setting for years, I am also a childminder now too so have lots of experience of little ones. Of course every child is different but many parents don't even consider potty training before 3 as that is now considered the norm, and i think it's worth trying from about age 2, many children are ready and love leaving nappies behind.

Disposable nappy manufacturers spent lots of money on product development and launched several products to extend the time children are in nappies. Thus the 'pull up' was born and the number of children starting school in nappies 24/7 or using them at night increased, hugely. Look at the sale stats and sizing options.

This has been studied, fairly extensively, from a marketing perspective. Creating a product no-one actually needs and changing the 'stigma' around children being in nappies/pull ups beyond 2 - 3 years and normalising the use of nappies/pull ups at night has been a huge commercial success. Less so for the children, TA's and others who have to deal with this.

If you believe your child is not capable of using the toilet at 4 years old, using lines such as they're 'not ready yet' or you 'don't have the time' you've fallen hook, line and sinker for the nappy manufacturers' bunkum and are using products (such as pull ups and nappies with pretty nasty chemicals that prevent wetness) that are causing the problem.

It's not acceptable to send a child to primary school in nappies (disability/illness excepting of course). It's nonsense to do so in 2019 when there is so much help and advice and information about potty training and techniques available free, 24/7 online.

The whole phenomena is a manufacturing and marketing success, and a parenting fail.

Regarding pull ups at night I thought night training was down to hormones?My 8 yr old is still in nappies due to disabilities but won't wear them at night is dry of course they didn't have pull ups in the 70,s but my sister had a rubber sheet on the bed for years .....

I'm pretty thankful for them inventing a need for night time pants. I don't have a tumble dryer and washing wee covered sheets every single day does not appeal. Too bad my 5 year old fell for their marketing ploy and isn't dry at night though...

Yes, accidents at night have always been a part of childhood and development. Mine had that too, but I was persuaded by GP to persevere without using pull ups and letting them sleep through. Using pull ups just makes it more difficult to recognise the sensations and wake up naturally - irrespective of hormones and other theories. My eldest was getting really anxious about going/staying anywhere. Pull ups would've just been for our convenience so we put the kids needs first, invested in mattress protectors and sucked up the pyjama/sheet washing. We ending up using an alarm with our youngest and this worked brilliantly - after a few nights!

I haven't seen any credible evidence that pushing training early does any damage. Plenty of evidence on the other hand, for the damage done by late training.

www.huffpost.com/entry/potty-training_b_1424826