Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD at home alone sick

58 replies

SoWhat21 · 05/02/2019 19:47

So DD is 12. Very mature. There’s a vomiting bug doing rounds at school and she got sick this evening. Just once but still feels unwell so sure more to come! Normally I can work from home but as luck would have it tomorrow I have some absolutely cannot be missed meetings. I’m due to be gone from 7. DH is away. Nanny due to be here from 7am until 9 when she leaves them to school. She has another job from 9.30 to 12.30 then back at mine for 1. Would it be terribly unreasonable to leave DD here by herself from 9 until 1? She’ll watch TV, read and has her phone to contact me if she needs. Normally I would go hesitate to leave her for this long when she’s well but feel a bit awful when she’s sick? AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
SoWhat21 · 05/02/2019 19:48

*not hesitate

OP posts:
Babyboysarenowbig · 05/02/2019 19:50

She’ll be fine for a few hours. As long as she has contact numbers.

EwItsAHooman · 05/02/2019 19:50

I would do it at that age. You know her best and whether she is mature enough to be trusted. Tell her the rules (e.g., no answering the door), make time to call her every so often to make sure she's okay, and prewarn your boss you may need to leave early if the situation changes.

SushiMonster · 05/02/2019 19:51

She’ll be fine for a few hours as long as she’s ok with it

user1498854363 · 05/02/2019 19:52

Have u asked her? It sounds ok to me but only you know yr child.
How sick would she have to be for you to not go to work? I speak as a parent who works, but it should be considered in the course of things, I imagine yr child is more important than a meeting.
Speak to her and see how she feels?

disneyspendingmoney · 05/02/2019 19:53

I would feel very uncomfortable doing that,probably just like you. Why is the meeting so important that you can't miss it? It change the date?

I've missed a number critical meetings because of your situation and surprisingly I gathered more respect at work for doing it.

I would say miss the meeting especially if your DD us vomiting.

The stress will have you under performing as well

No job is worth the illness if a child,

BlueSuffragette · 05/02/2019 19:55

I'd see how she is during the night and then decide. If she's ill in the night i'd not go to the meeting as if she's actually vomiting she needs supervising and support. If she seems ok and she's mature I'd leave her comfortable on the sofa watching tv with access to a phone.

poorbuthappy · 05/02/2019 19:56

As long as she's not throwing up I would be ok with this.
And yes some meetings can't be missed if you want to keep your job....🙄

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/02/2019 19:57

Personally I would say no, my 12 year old son had to be hospitalised because of a sickness bug doing the rounds, if we had left him alone he would have been in serious health, as after one bout of sickness he was unconscious in the shower.

Per ally I just wouldn’t take the risk.

InfiniteCurve · 05/02/2019 19:57

If by tomorrow she is just fragile and needing to rest up and recover I'd be fine with it.
If she is still throwing up regularly I'm not so sure.Being sick is nasty,and also involves dealing with the aftermath - will she have a sick bowl? Always be able to make it to the loo?
But I'd ask her what she thinks herself.

ColdCottage · 05/02/2019 20:19

If she wasn't too ill but unwell enough not to be at school and an adult could be with her quickly if called then I'd say this was fine. At 13 I was babysitting (with my mum on hand a few doors down).

You know your child and say she is mature. Trust your gut. Sounds like she will be fine. Just make it clear to call if she needs you and not to try and be strong until the nanny comes home.

Bringbackthestripes · 05/02/2019 20:21

i'd not go to the meeting as if she's actually vomiting she needs supervising and support.

^ this. But if she vomits most of the night, has stopped by morning and is just tired and feeling a bit grim then she will be fine to stay in bed or watch tv alone for 4 hours.

jessstan2 · 05/02/2019 20:22

She's 12, she'll be fine on her own and will ring you if she gets any worse and needs you.

I hope she is better soon.

Lovemusic33 · 05/02/2019 20:23

If she still being sick I wouldn’t leave her, chances are she would have stopped by the morning and will just want to sleep and rest. I often leave my dd when she’s feeling unwell but not when she’s being sick as she panics when she’s sick.

iMatter · 05/02/2019 20:23

I agree

If she's vomiting then absolutely no way

If she's recovering and just washed out then yes

Dairyqueen2 · 05/02/2019 20:25

I wouldn't if there was any danger of vomiting or diarrhoea. She'd feel so rough and have to clean it up herself ... might not take on enough fluids by herself ... Sad I think you know it's not really on. If you can't be honest with work, pull a sicky yourself??

Eatmycheese · 05/02/2019 20:25

No

lotusbell · 05/02/2019 20:30

I'd do it. Leave her instructions, numbers etc. It's only for a few hours, she will be fine.

ReanimatedSGB · 05/02/2019 20:31

I probably would have. DS is 14 now and when he was 12 I sometimes left him for an hour or so. But see how she is in the morning.
(Though I do appreciate that some employers are not sympathetic and that people often really do need their jobs, whether what the employer is asking is reasonable or not.)

Original poster
SoWhat21 · 05/02/2019 20:41

I’m not going to go into the specifics of the meetings but I absolutely cannot miss them. I’ve worked for this company 10 years and this is the first time there has been something this essential. Not just my job but those of others are at risk. People have come from abroad so rearranging out of the question as is pulling a sickie since I was in meetings all day today with everyone it wouldn’t be believed and I wouldn’t do it anyway. I don’t know how sick she’d have to be to miss meetings, probably hospitalized and even then I’d have to at least dial in for some. Luckily I’m not dealing with that. She’s vomited once and feels poorly still. If she was continuously vomiting I’d be a lot more worried about leaving her. In that instance I’d either get DH back on a late/early flight or probably ask FIL or my mother to come supervise her (from another room if possible!) but I don’t want to expose either of them to this bug in these circumstances.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoWhat21 · 05/02/2019 20:53

And yes she’s fine with it. Staying at home by herself with Netflix and her books is pretty much her perfect way to spend a morning!

OP posts:
Amallamard · 05/02/2019 21:06

It does depend on how ill she is. I've left my 11 yo at home with a bad cold but I work literally 5 min walk away and have regular check-ins through the day to make sure all is ok. If needed I'd be home very quickly. Serious vomiting I wouldn't leave. A one-off vomit, then ok but recovering, should be ok.

I'd get someone on standby to come and sit with her if need be.

Nnnnnineteen · 05/02/2019 21:10

Mine's a similar age. If not actively puking and really unwell, i would leave mine. She would prefer me to leave her alone than fussing her when she could crack on with a box set and sleeping.

anniehm · 05/02/2019 21:32

I did at that age, I worked pt and by 12 they didn't want to do holiday childcare so I left the dog in charge! They were fine, but I left numbers by the home phone just in case and we have good neighbours

Helix1244 · 05/02/2019 21:35

Im surprised the nanny will still come