Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD at home alone sick

58 replies

SoWhat21 · 05/02/2019 19:47

So DD is 12. Very mature. There’s a vomiting bug doing rounds at school and she got sick this evening. Just once but still feels unwell so sure more to come! Normally I can work from home but as luck would have it tomorrow I have some absolutely cannot be missed meetings. I’m due to be gone from 7. DH is away. Nanny due to be here from 7am until 9 when she leaves them to school. She has another job from 9.30 to 12.30 then back at mine for 1. Would it be terribly unreasonable to leave DD here by herself from 9 until 1? She’ll watch TV, read and has her phone to contact me if she needs. Normally I would go hesitate to leave her for this long when she’s well but feel a bit awful when she’s sick? AIBU?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 05/02/2019 21:59

I would OP
Hard call but I would too
Some meetings can’t be missed

Lindtnotlint · 05/02/2019 22:02

This is fine. Really.

If she is actively vomiting you need supervisory cover (not you) - grandparents or whatever.

She “needs” you to have a job a lot more than she “needs” you to mop her brow.

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 05/02/2019 22:35

I also think it’s fine. When I was 12 I would definitely have been mature enough to stay at home alone when I’ll. You know your daughter.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/02/2019 23:16

or probably ask FIL or my mother to come supervise her
Are they local? If I had a meeting of the level of importance you describe my mum would be over in a heartbeat. DD can be upstairs in bed with granny downstairs available if dd calls her. DD is old enough to understand she doesn't want to give granny the germs if possible.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/02/2019 23:18

BTW I was definitely left on my own if sick at this age but probably not actively vomiting as I just wouldn't have been old enough to deal with how that felt. Being sick is scary when you are a kid.

JasperKarat · 06/02/2019 05:33

For the people doing she'll have to clean up if she has sickness or diarrhea at twelve she should be making it to the bathroom.
I remember being on holiday with my parents, their friends and their children all DCs late primary ages, a D&V 24 thing did the rounds (maybe food poisoning) DH and I made it to the bathroom every time, they just sat in their beds and vomited, why?! Surely that makes you feel worse.
OP if she says she'll be fine leave her to it. Some people don't realise is not always appropriate to just not go to work

JasperKarat · 06/02/2019 05:35

DB not DH

AuditAngel · 06/02/2019 05:44

DD1 is 12 next month and we did leave her as only v9miting very occasionally. She was fine with being left and was sleepin* a lot.

Don’t know the circumstances of your meeting, but good luck, we’ve just been through redundancy consultations and it was really stressful. I was more worried about the rest of my team than I was about myself (although I had external job offers which helped). Incidentally i’m still there but not particularly happy with what i’m Having to do.

HedgePlastic · 06/02/2019 06:02

Yes, just go to the meetings. Not a big deal.

alreadytaken · 06/02/2019 06:04

no wonder children are growing up as snowflakes. She is 12, not 2 and it's a few hours before someone checks on her, not a week home alone.

I wouldnt like going, I'd phone home to check when I could but I'd go.

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 06/02/2019 06:22

Interesting responses- I wouldn’t
Leave her. A vomiting bug can be very distressing so I’d want to be with her

Kahlua4me · 06/02/2019 06:41

Perhaps ask your mum to pop over late morning, or come and sit there during the day if she prefers. That may be easier for you as you won’t be worrying about her so can concentrate on your meetings.

Just make sure you bleach everything downstairs and your daughter stays upstairs!

Ragwort · 06/02/2019 06:54

Of course it’s fine, I assume you have left for work now anyway. Smile. Chances are she won’t be sick again & just needs to rest quietly.

Petalflowers · 06/02/2019 06:56

Yes, I would leave her if she is happy to be left. Make sure she has contact numbers for you, Nannny or a neighbour in case of an emergency.

Artfullydead · 06/02/2019 06:56

She's probably immature because she can't be left for a couple of hours!

Procrastination4 · 06/02/2019 07:00

If she’s happy to be left, I’d leave her. (Put a washing up bowl by the bed, just in case she feels sick-that takes care of any potential cleaning up, and it’s a reassurance to have, anyway.)

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 06/02/2019 07:01

If you know your neighbours I would ask them if you can leave their number.
As last be as she has a bucket, some wipes and water, and is not too far from a loo what’s the worst mess that will need to be cleaned up?

BWatchWatcher · 06/02/2019 07:05

I’d leave her. She will be fine.
Good luck today OP!

TheJobNeverEnded · 06/02/2019 07:06

The only thing I would get her to do is check in with you every 30 mins or every hour by text.

Ds1 is 15 and I was here, he was poorly, not sick just very unwell and he took himself back to bed which is unheard of for him. I woke him after 1hr 30 as I was getting worried.

Sick wise, we always line a plastic bin with a bin liner, you throw up into that and when you are finished with it, you tie bag handles and bin it. No sick to clean up. This method was great when we all came down with Norovirus a few years ago.

Loseitandkeepitlost · 06/02/2019 07:07

I would leave her as long as she is able to get hold of you if needed. Would you be allowed to take a call from her in your meeting?

memaymamo · 06/02/2019 07:07

I've done this when needed in similar circumstances. She's got a phone, hard to imagine what could go wrong.

madeyemoodysmum · 06/02/2019 07:08

I wouldn’t if she is actually vomiting again.

She will need help Could choke etc

If it’s just a soda throat then fine.

catontherun · 06/02/2019 07:19

I've done it and would do it again no question. I totally understand about the meeting that can't be missed.

You know your own child, their maturity and whether they're happy to be left for a few hours. The unpredictable element here appears to be the nature of the illness. If it's just a vomiting bug, then bed, and emergency bucket/bowl and a packet of wipes and tissues to hand should suffice, oh and a bottle of water to sip from. (although I have also in the past put towels on the floor by the bed, spare pj's handy and a bucket ready for putting soiled stuff in, just in case).

Sometimes you need to keep your employability levels up more than your child really needs you for a couple of hours.

When the kids were younger however I once fancied an afternoon off with them after a sustained period of very hard work/meetings/deadlines all met etc but there was another project brewing with work looking for a willing victim and as Mrs Reliable I was fairly sure I would be given it despite others being available as they had a lower overall workload at that time. I dropped the youngest at nursery and asked ds's keyworker to ring me just before the meeting to get me out of it. Everyone knew that if nursery rang I often had to leave fairly quickly and may then need to work from home for a day or so. The call came just in time, I excused myself and we had a lovely time at home plus the older ones got a surprise pick-up from school that afternoon instead of going to after school club.

Poodloo · 06/02/2019 07:26

Madeyemoody the child is 12.. did you read that? A secondary school age child is perfectly able to stay at home alone for 3 hours with a sickness bug. It's obviously preferable having someone on hand, hec I'm an adult and id still love my mum to be around when I'm poorly. But she will be fine. Tuck her in bed with a bucket, glass of water and Netflix. It's 3 hours.

Hammondisback · 06/02/2019 07:32

It’s 9-1, so not a full day. You’ve made additional arrangements with the nanny. Try to ring or text her, just to check, if you can. She’ll be fine. If it was 7-7, it would be different. Hope she’s better soon x