To call the teacher by his first name?

[MrsWhatToDo]

More wwyd I guess but here it is...
So my ds has been having some issues in class and its become necessary to colaborate with his form tutor. Secondary school.
This is my situation. I emailed teacher addressed to Mr Lastname and signed Firstname Lastname.
His reply came back - To Mrs Lastname Signed Firstname
My response - To Mr Lastname Signed Firstname
His response - To Firstname Signed Firstname

Would it be weird to address him as Firstname? I've held back from doing so in emails as we now have a meeting set up for next Monday morning and don't want it to be weird. I won't use his first name in emails if I don't in person. Personally I would prefer to be called by Firstname and so far he has only ever signed as his first name.
This is going to be ongoing communication so it matters going forward.
I know its first world problems / Britsh etiquette but I'd really like some wider opinions.

I'm laughing but only because I'd stress about this sort of thing as well
No useful advice sorry

I would barely notice.

I’ve always done
Dear Mrs/Mr last name, signed first name last name
If they reply first name then I go with that

I have no problem with a parent using my first name and end correspondence first name only so parent knows I don't mind. I would assume he feels similarly as he used his in the email. As long as the tone of the rest of the email is professional, it's fine.

He has signed off just first name so you address him by first name now.

As a teacher I tend to take the parent's lead. I'd be happy to be on first name terms with a parent though, especially if we'd be working together a lot.

Would you use his name to him though? I wouldn’t say “hello John” I’d just say “hello”.
And if talking to someone else eg reception I’d still use “Mr Smith”.

If any pupils around I use Mr, ms ,Mrs or Miss I'm school out of their hearing first name is fine if they have used it

I would opt for the classic British approach of going to desperate lengths to avoid saying his name at all during the meeting.

I’m a teacher and generally sign emails with first name last name but if it’s a member of my form and the emails are sensitive or about a personal matter ( e.g family member ill) I have gone first name only as feel it makes me feel more “human”.

I just say Mr/Mrs/Miss Lastname - it's what my sons use to refer to their teachers and I don't ant to be too personal. However, my own surname is different from my sons' last name and this seems to cause them confusion. "Oh Mrs Java, Yes, are you um.. Jack's mum or um... guardian" Me: "His mum". No idea why - I assume they must think the boys are with their dad but he's not living with their mum. Have taken to signing myself "Mrs Java (Jack's mum)"

Ooooo I had this last week! I did not know what to write. I canvassed at the school gate and all were shocked teacher had signed first name! She has always signed Firstname Lastname to me, other parents say she sometimes signs off F.L. But no one has Firstname! They all wanted to know if I call her Firstname - No, we always address each other as Mrs Lastname when we talk.
So, concensus was write back to Mrs Lastname.

Signing off with your first name invites the recipient to address you by that name. You are now officially on first name terms with your dc's teacher.

I have always made a point of calling my dcs' teachers by their titles and surnames, out of respect. For the most part I genuinely respect them. I'm also terribly British and don't know them outside of their professional capacity.

I recently was in a three-way email conversation with the Deputy Head and a Vicar whom I know as John. When the DH's emails were addressed to 'Mrs Slice and John', and signed 'Malcolm', I realised that I had to reply 'Dear Malcom and John', or appear excessively formal.

The next time I saw Mr Bright, I replied to his "Hello, Jelly" with "Hello, Malcolm", masking my inner horror at being so familiar. I've got used to it, as have my dc.

What was really embarrassing, was getting muddled one day and responding "Hello, Mr Malcom."

I used to be on good terms with my son's housemaster who had been a form teacher one year and sports master. He called me first name and this wasn't a problem. I however could only ever call him Mr Lastname.

My stepMIL was one of DH's teachers a d he still refers to her as Miss MaidenName

I’m friends with one of my former teachers and I still have such a hard time firstnaming her

I call my dc's teachers Mr/Mrs X when the dc are there and by their first names when they aren't. They call me by my first name. I think it is fine.

I’ve always replied to students parents by their title and surname- even if they sign off with just their first name and signed off Miss NoPants as that’s how my students know me.

As a teacher who often has this situation, emails back and forth with my mentees parents, just use the first name if they've used it. We're just people!

I'm so pleased you have raised this. I have same issue except I can't bring myself to use his first name!! He is a teacher and due to my upbringing it seems down right rude to not call him Mr x.

I have to communication with DDs teacher more often than is usual (DD has SN and sometimes has issues at school) and we are on Hi Firstname, signed Firstname terms. Happened quite quickly and I think it’s a good thing.

OP the teacher has instigated the Firstname/ Firstname thing in your case; just go with it.

*communicate

Our local primary school the teachers are called by their first names anyway. It’s so weird to Mr/ Mrs...

Oh God, I'd use his first name! I couldn't imagine calling another adult "Mrs" or "Mr" something - that would be bizarre!

I emailed DS's teacher last week.

He signed his first name only on the reply, and I would have gone with that.

However, I was multi messaging and realised when he responded that I had typed "Cheers ears, will speak to (DS) later".

I recently sent an email to one of ds's teachers. I addressed her "Hi Firstname"

I don't think she was impressed. Her response was:
"Thanks.
F. Surname"

In my defence, my kids all went to a primary school where teachers were addressed using first name by kids and parents so it seems more natural to me. Also, the form head who told me who to send the email to said to send it to Firstname Lastname.

I have to say, I think the whole formality of Mr/Ms for teachers is a bit old fashioned. I'm in a university and all my students call me by my first name. A few of the first years start off more formally but a few communications signed off with my first name sort that out pretty quickly.