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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is how newborn visits should be?

66 replies

Sexnotgender · 05/02/2019 11:34

I do love my mum.

I had my baby on Saturday and it’s so nice to have someone who understands you might be shattered or not up for visitors.

To think this is how newborn visits should be?
OP posts:
MustShowDH · 05/02/2019 11:38

Perfect - and bringing cake!

Pinkyponker · 05/02/2019 11:41

yes definitely

CrabbyPatty · 05/02/2019 11:42

Lovely post. Nice to see some positivity on here! Im due tomorrow. My family and in-laws are great but I'm hoping we get the balance right in terms of visitors. X

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 05/02/2019 11:43

Always take cake. Always.

Your Mum sounds lovely.

Congratulations on your little one Flowers

MyBreadIsEggy · 05/02/2019 11:43

Your mum knows what’s up Wink
My dad strolled in about 4 hours after DC2 was born, arms laden with fish and chips. Plated and cut it up for me so I could eat one-handed while feeding baby.
Some parents just get it don’t they?!
Congratulations on your new addition OP, and I hope the cake is lush Grin

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/02/2019 11:44

My friends were like this- my OHs friends not so much!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 05/02/2019 11:45

Your mum sounds amazing. Mine has an obsession with ' I shouldn't have it' when it comes to cake, even when visiting my DS for the very first time.

Babyboysarenowbig · 05/02/2019 11:51

Congratulations Flowers

Hermagsjesty · 05/02/2019 11:55

Oh, that’s so lovely. Hope you’re enjoying your new baby (and the cake!)

asnugglysnerd · 05/02/2019 11:55

She sounds fab :)

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 05/02/2019 11:59

My dad strolled in about 4 hours after DC2 was born, arms laden with fish and chips. Plated and cut it up for me so I could eat one-handed while feeding baby.

That’s awesome!!

OP posts:
MeetJoeTurquoise · 05/02/2019 12:00

Ah that's how my parents were too, only without the text, it was an actual house phone due to me being old. She also used to stick thewashing on and flick a duster around if it needed it too so I could just look after baby.

Congrats on your new addition.

Skybooks · 05/02/2019 12:01

Lovely post.

PinaColada1 · 05/02/2019 12:13

Perfect!

ChipButtyNotABap · 05/02/2019 12:16

So much better than my family who drove to see the baby, ordered takeaway that we paid for and then left all the washing up 😏 We didn't have a dishwasher then and there was tons of it and cups from tea and coffees etc.

I remember crying a lot that night!

You have a great family 😊 And congratulations!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 05/02/2019 12:20

That's exactly how it should go!
Never turn up unannounced.
Never turn up empty handed.

Fish and chip Dad sounds excellent.
Both my parents were great when my two were newborn. Brought food, helped out and had newborn cuddles in return.
With my second, my friends had organised a rota to bring me food (bloody brilliant of them) and one arrived when the health visitor was here and she had a huge lasagne and a pavlova. The health visitor looked at me and said "I'm supposed to ask you if you have a good support network. I can see I don't need to. Also, can I stay for dinner?"
Grin

DonutCone · 05/02/2019 12:21

Mybreadiseggy your Dad rocks, that is all.

halfwitpicker · 05/02/2019 12:22

As opposed to my mil who decided to bake me a cake, in my own kitchen and use my ingredients.

stegosauruslady · 05/02/2019 12:22

That is lovely!

My Mum drove two hours to bring my DP his migraine medication when we were stuck in hospital with our very ill newborn a few weeks ago (baby is fine now!) She also brought my favourite sweets, a load of fruit to counter the hospital food, massive coffees and then looked after me while DP had a quick sleep until the meds worked.

APMom · 05/02/2019 12:23

I’ve never had issues with visitors after having any of my 6. When I had no5 I put a note on the door to say no ringing the bell when I was trying to sleep but I didn’t mind the kids friends coming in and out. On my last baby my lovely neighbour cooked us a roast dinner, carried it all down in dishes and insisted on taking the dirty dishes back for her to wash.

waterrat · 05/02/2019 12:24

Bring food and don't stay long. That is the rules. And yes - I ALWAYS say to new mums that they can cancel at any point right up to the last minute. I would hate for them to feel they had to keep the plan when all they want to do is sleep.

Skittlesandbeer · 05/02/2019 12:26

Your families are so fab it makes me tear right up! Consideration, communication and FOOD!

You mean your mum didn’t lob up during the traumatic birth and hassle the staff to be let in, then have a big tantrum and call everyone to preface our news (getting everything important wrong), then drop in randomly over the next weeks expecting to be waited on while I struggled with bleeding boobs and more stitches than Frankenstein?

Huh, luck of the draw?? CongratsGrin

Bumblebee39 · 05/02/2019 12:28

Bring food, ask what you can do to help (dishes usually a good thing), don't expect you can hold the baby (again ask), don't stay too long. Also, I found all the photographs terribly stressful. I still can't look at them now. Ones of DCs as babies yeah, ones of me in a hot mess not so much.

NunoGoncalves · 05/02/2019 12:29

It's nice but I would probably go NC with her for using the term "state of play" tbh.

JourneyofSelfImprovement · 05/02/2019 12:44

Ah I remember going to my parents house for dinner with DH and DSD a few days after DD was born.

Big Sunday roast, and Mam even sat and held a grumbly baby while hers went cold just so we could have a nice hot meal.

Love my Mam and Dad 😊

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