School assuming things about my mixed race son

[TulipDragonfly]

DS (5) has come home today. I'm white, his dad is British born Chinese (ie, his parents came over from China, he looks Chinese but was bought up in the UK has never been to China and can't speak Chinese)

Mummy did you know I can speak chinese?

No darling, you can't

Yes I can, my teacher told me I could

But you can't sweetie!

Yes, she looked in her book and told me I could! And so I can!

She got him to speak a bit of Chinese to the whole class - hes such a little people pleaser that he said" I tried to speak Chinese" (he just made some noises mi Ka la ta do hi sa - what he thinks Chinese sounds like) and then she said 'well done'

Wibu to go into the school tomorrow and clear up that he can't speak Chinese, and I'm slightly concerned that they've just made an assumption he can because of what he looks like?

Is the teacher now going to tell him that she was wrong & he can't speak Chinese?

Whay is this even important?

What's going to happen to the kid if somebody thinks he can speak another language?

Why does anybody have to go to the school?

What does telling the teacher that the child doesn't speak Chinese actually achieve?

My neighbours kid thinks he's a Jedi, and even carries his little plastic light sabre on the bus.

Somebody please explain why this matters at all.

Confused Because for the growing number of mixed race children / adults as countless posters have highlighted these issues of identity do really matter. Being a Jedi is fantasy but for this little boy whilst thinking he is speaking Chinese may be fantasy his Chinese ethnicity comes with a whole package of attitudes / prejudices / stereotypes that he is going to encounter all his life, but one set of adults who should know better are his teachers.

Because telling a child to speak in a language they don't know could be very upsetting for the child.

Grace No I was not being so crass as to say that because he is going to be stereotyped he should learn the language. What I was saying is that pride in a background in multiple cultures can be a powerful source of identity. If you read my previous post I highlighted that mixed race friends have bought their children up to identify as being from one culture because many of them felt they did not fully belong to any culture but that does not mean they cannot take pride in all the cultures they have experienced / are part of their ethnicity. It is even sadder if they feel they have to suppress a part of their identity to fit in. Exclusive behaviour / prejudice / stereotyping all arise from insecurity......

Confused
Because forcing a child to stand up in class and telling him to do something he cannot do and had already told you he can't do is a crap thing to do to him.
Why is potentially upsetting and embarrassing a 5yr old in front of his friends hard to understand?

It would help if OP had explained what the Teacher actually said about asking DS to speak Chinese. We are still no wiser.

Was it written down in a book or did she assume?

The whole 'heritage' thing is interesting. My Granny was Welsh. I have no idea if she could speak Welsh. She was born 1905 and I believe speaking Welsh was not encouraged in schools etc in that era (apologies if I have that bit of history wrong). She moved to England in her 20s so most of her life was in England. This means my Dad and Auntie are 'half Welsh'. If they were 4 year olds today would people assume they could speak Welsh?
After my Granny died and her things were being sorted we found some old Teach Yourself Esperanto books. Esperanto being the made up 'universal' language! What ever happened to Esperanto?
Anyway OP I would say to your little boy that did he realise the Chinese* he spoke wasn't really proper words, but would he like to learn some. If he seems keen then just teach Hello, Goodbye, My name is, counting 1- 10 etc ( use book from the library, internet etc). That will keep the attention span of a 4 year old happy for a while.
*I know. There's no such language as Chinese. But you know what I mean.

And the benefit of raising a child to be proud of the cultures they have ethic backgrounds in / have experienced goes beyond building a strong sense of identity. These are the qualities PWC are looking for in graduate recruits “In a continually complex and changing world, you’ll need to operate and collaborate effectively, with a mind-set that transcends geographic and cultural boundaries.“

www.pwc.co.uk/careers/student-jobs/apply/the-skills-we-look-for.html

I’d definitely go in an have a chat....and a laugh!
It’s really made me chuckle.

That's unbelievable!

In DS1's class there was a girl called Ayše, on her first day she came out with a name sticker on saying "Alisha".

Emily thanks for answering that

I would still leave a child to decide what they want to learn later though.

Philomena yes, when I started school my parents spent a long time explaining to me that I must not let anyone change my name, so to speak.

i wouldnt say moving to england makes u english or whatever country u move to

my dh would be horrified to learn hes changed nationality

These are the qualities PWC are looking for in graduate recruits “In a continually complex and changing world, you’ll need to operate and collaborate effectively, with a mind-set that transcends geographic and cultural boundaries.“

And an example of not doing that would going up to people who look a bit Chinese and asking if they speak "Chinese". That's not "transcend(ing) geographic and cultural boundaries.“, it's barely a step up from assuming everyone French wears a striped sweater and has a string of onions.

@GabsAlot "i wouldnt say moving to england makes u english or whatever country u move to"

has anyone said that? Now I'm confused....

sorry i meant bookmums comment on her granny moving to england and her family becoming english

@GabsAlot

I didn't read Bookmum's comment that way at all

but my nationality is on my passport, I was born and raised here. My grandparents aren't linked to my nationality.

I'd probably go and have a chat. Ive had the opposite. I always mention in all forms that my DD is another ethnicity and bilingual,but because she's the spitting image of Goldilocks, they assume it's a mistake.

Reflect I agree, it is exactly the problem. The point I have been making to OP is a parenting one, that nurturing any interest in other cultures, particularly those of his own ethnicity, which is of course far more diverse and many layered than just “Chinese” can be a source of a strong sense of identity that helps him to develop a thick skin in the face of this sort of stereotyping , and be a benefit should he ever have ambitions to become involved in a global role of any kind.

imagine if she had pulled a black kid up and said he can speak Swahili and got him to make some clicking noises...

For the sake of accuracy I would like to point out.

1. Swahili ( or Kiswahili) is only spoken in East Africa predominantly in Kenya and Tanzania. So most Africans don't speak it.
2. Swahili has no clicking noises.

GabsALot My Granny was born in Wales so was Welsh but she left Wales for England as soon as she could as far as I know (so young women in her early 20s). She married my Grandad who was English, lived the rest of her life in England and had her children in England. So she was Welsh but the rest of us in the family are English.

sorry misunderstood your post book-love wales btw

Don't worry about it GabsALot. I have realised it's a bit sad I don't know if my Granny could speak Welsh. I was 18 when she died and it isn't something I ever thought about as a kid.
(also very curious if she did learn that Esperanto!)

just to demonstrate the insanity of the world - like we didn't have enough of it on this thread...

I went to Wales for the first time last year and absolutely loved it. When I came home, I was telling a neighbour about it, and she said "oh yes, Wales is lovely isn't it....so English".

I just didn't reply to that one!

Grace so English