Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School assuming things about my mixed race son

237 replies

TulipDragonfly · 04/02/2019 16:39

DS (5) has come home today. I'm white, his dad is British born Chinese (ie, his parents came over from China, he looks Chinese but was bought up in the UK has never been to China and can't speak Chinese)

Mummy did you know I can speak chinese?

No darling, you can't

Yes I can, my teacher told me I could

But you can't sweetie!

Yes, she looked in her book and told me I could! And so I can!

She got him to speak a bit of Chinese to the whole class - hes such a little people pleaser that he said" I tried to speak Chinese" (he just made some noises mi Ka la ta do hi sa - what he thinks Chinese sounds like) and then she said 'well done'

Wibu to go into the school tomorrow and clear up that he can't speak Chinese, and I'm slightly concerned that they've just made an assumption he can because of what he looks like?

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 04/02/2019 16:46

I absolutely would OP

I remember at that age being told by a TA that is spelled my own surname wrong (I hadn't) because there's as a very similar surname with an extra letter I was so frustrated and upset.

This is much worse but presumptuous to the level of prejudice

LordPickle · 04/02/2019 16:46

Shock If this actually happened, yes I would be at the school tomorrow. That is shocking.

CuckooCuckooClock · 04/02/2019 16:47

Sounds like a data error rather than based on looks. Just tell the teacher he only speaks English. Problem solved.

00100001 · 04/02/2019 16:48

...why would it be written in a book that he can speak chinese?

Summerfalls · 04/02/2019 16:49

If it happened as said that absolutely yes, but could it be they school/class are learning about Chinese New Year and possibly all being taught Chinese language maybe?

CuckooCuckooClock · 04/02/2019 16:49

The teacher will have a list of who has other languages spoken at home and may have copied it across to her planner wrong. Mistakes happen. Has he just started? It's quite late in the year to discover this.

Tentomidnight · 04/02/2019 16:50

Definitely say something, that is one hell of an assumption!
Different if the teacher had asked the class if anyone speaks another language, and your DC had offered.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 04/02/2019 16:50

You, go in. It's really not OK and it she continues to do things like that with other children who aren't just white British, then she got end up in hot water. It just seems like such a stupid thing to do!

I remember a teacher once had a right go at me because I'd written my address and it didn't contain a number. My house didn't have a number; just a name. Big, old house with just a name. And she properly shouted at me because the homework had been to learn our address and telephone number. My mum went in for that, so you should deffo go in for this.

lenalove · 04/02/2019 16:51

Just wanted to share my DPs similar experience and to say annoyingly I don't think this gets better with age! DP is half white English half Japanese, and although he does speak Japanese (though admittedly not as well as English) I can think of a fair few times we've been out and about and someone has started to speak to him in Chinese or another Asian language! He usually just stares at them blankly until they realize he hasn't caught a word of it and they then become rather awkward!

I do think it would be worth telling the teacher she has got the wrong end of the stick - if nothing else, to save DS from further confusion! Hopefully she will realize her assumptions were misplaced - giving her the benefit of the doubt, it probably came from a place of ignorance rather than malice. Worth marking her card either way though.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 04/02/2019 16:54

*Yes, go in not you, go in.

FionnaMAC · 04/02/2019 17:02

Ok, just to give the other side of this from another teacher's point of view.

We get given a list of EAL children (English as an additional language). This list can range from a grandparent speaking to the child in another language to children who have arrived in the UK the Sunday before coming to school.

Some schools filter the children who are technically 'EAL' but really speak English as their first language and have very peripheral contact with another language, some don't. So some teachers will see EAL as a broad spectrum, others as only ranging from little English to bilingual.

So perhaps she saw he was EAL, and from her experience this means that he can speak another language (when actually he is only EAL due to a technicality).

We are asked to encourage children with more than one language to speak that language to give them pride in their own heritage and to expose other children to different languages and cultures. So perhaps she just thought he needed prompting and encouragement. Considering she looked in a book, I don't think it's being done because he looks mixed race.

Original poster
TulipDragonfly · 04/02/2019 17:04

@LordPickle it did really happen . I'm slightly torn between shock and hilarity at him playing with his toys whilst 'speaking chinese'... He's very proud of his newfound skill.

OP posts:
drspouse · 04/02/2019 17:08

My friend's DD filled in her own form for a club and wrote that she spoke Spanish at home (she was about 8 and knows some of the words from Dora), club asked the mum if she needed help with the club letters!
My DS thinks he speaks another language but actually we taught him a few words for a holiday.
I'd have a word. I bet she'll find the funny side and not assume again!

BiscuitStories · 04/02/2019 17:09

huh? Most europeans cannot even see the difference between a Chinese looking person and a Japanese or Korean...

tempester28 · 04/02/2019 17:11

Well the teacher obviously does not speak mandarin either!

You shouldn't have to explain yourself but, yes best to have a chat with the teacher to avoid any further confusion.

Did you have to fill out an ethnicity/language form before starting school?

Cel982 · 04/02/2019 17:11

So perhaps she saw he was EAL, and from her experience this means that he can speak another language (when actually he is only EAL due to a technicality).

But why would he be marked as EAL at all, if he doesn't speak any language but English? Hmm And why would the child in your example whose grandmother spoke to him in a different language be classed as EAL?

AngelaHodgeson · 04/02/2019 17:14

Yes, she looked in her book and told me I could! And so I can!

I'd bet a mistake somewhere along the line wrt EAL. So probs not an assumption based on what he looks like - I reckon either a mistake on her part in copying data in to her planner, or she has being given misinformation. I'd defo mention it though, in case it happens again!

FionnaMAC · 04/02/2019 17:17

But why would he be marked as EAL at all, if he doesn't speak any language but English? hmm And why would the child in your example whose grandmother spoke to him in a different language be classed as EAL?

Because they are EAL on the school census. If they have someone speak to them in another language in their family (and have a certain level of contact with them - though not much is needed!) they get put down as EAL. It's ridiculous and has led to me having to prove I'm 'supporting' an EAL child, even though they only speak English!

glamorousgrandmother · 04/02/2019 17:17

I would go in and speak to the teacher to avoid future confusion, he might have been very convincing with his pretend Chinese. I wouldn't take offence just clear up the misunderstanding.

One of my grandsons convinced his Mum and me that he knew some sign language, we assumed he had learned it at school but he was making it up having seen Mr Tumble. My youngest DGS comes back from school with some very tall tales that take a lot of untangling and occasionally something true that does need sorting out.

Willow2017 · 04/02/2019 17:18

Maybe next time she could listen to the child instead of talking over him and being determined she is right matter what he says?

We have forms but it just asks 1st language and any other language spoken.by child. It doesn't ask for GPS language etc.

Why would he be put down as EAL when English is his only language so.far? His mum or dad would have filled in the forms themselves.

I think she just noted his dad is Chinese and presumed there for both him and his parents (gps) spoke chinese all the time in front of ds2.

Pretty smug leap there to take it as far as to argue with a child over what language they speak!

Quartz2208 · 04/02/2019 17:20

The looked in the book implies that it is written down that he can

Simply tell her he cant and move on

sobeyondthehills · 04/02/2019 17:20

My DS' teacher made the same sort of mistake. I just corrected her

Original poster
TulipDragonfly · 04/02/2019 17:22

@FionnaMAC but how would he have ended up on the EAL register? I had to fill in a form before he started in September and didn't tick any box or say anything to indicate he's exposed to additional languages (because he isn't)

OP posts:
Rafflesway · 04/02/2019 17:23

Totally missing the point Tulip but your post made my heart melt.

Your DS sounds absolutely adorable!

Teacher sounds a bit bonkers.

RolyRocks · 04/02/2019 17:26

But why would he be marked as EAL at all, if he doesn't speak any language but English? hmm And why would the child in your example whose grandmother spoke to him in a different language be classed as EAL?

The data would have come from the school application in the ethnicity section. As has been said, EAL does not just mean the pupil potentially speaks another language but that family members do. And the teacher will be judged on how they support and include EAL students. All the teacher will be given is a list with the words EAL next to a pupil.
If the OP wants to remove this from her DS’s data, she can request it.

But to assume this teacher only did what she did because her DS looks mixed race, is not necessarily true and can be cleared up by talking to the teacher.