To ask what do you do for YOU?

[passthejammydodgers]

Regular but have name changed.

I have a 5yo and a 4 month old baby. Currently on Mat leave but will be going back to work 4 days a week in a job that I love but can be stressful and emotionally draining as it involves working with very vulnerable people.

I have been diagnosed with PND and was recently asked the question "so what do you do for YOU?" by a psychiatrist at an appointment. I'm sorry to say I couldn't think of anything and it hit me that gradually, over the years, my life has become all about work and kids. I know that's not healthy and it needs to change if I'm going to get well and stay well.

The problem is, if I suddenly had time to myself I don't even know what I would do with it! I used to read a lot and go to the cinema regularly before having DC but that fell by the wayside.

I've always been quite introverted and at the moment I'm craving time alone rather than wanting to go to groups and meet people. DH works long hours during the week so I don't have the opportunity to do much in the evenings but he would be happy to give me a break at weekends. He frequently offers but I always decline out of feeling guilty or simply not knowing what to do with myself.

Interested to here about your hobbies, self-care tips and just general things you do to make yourself feel better when life with work, kids etc all feels too much.

Thanks.

I paint my nails once a week in the evening, do my makeup during my commute and sometimes get a coffee too to drink on the train. That’s it really. But I sometimes go to work drinks and love a bit of karaoke. I used to frequent a karaoke bar near my work but now leave the office early to get home for bedtime. That was such a big part of my life actually, I really loved singing, drinking and being silly.

When I get to do it (a few times a year) I bloody love it. That must be my ‘thing’

Recently since my second DC turned 8 months I’ve invested a bit of money (actually not that much!) on some nice clothes. I was sick of wearing jeans and a crappy shirt to work. Putting more effort into how I look has really helped my confidence and shopping had been a bit of a hobby for me, but shopping frugally in sales etc, but putting things together she having fun with clothes.

I don’t know whether I’m an introvert or extravert. I have to put on a front for work.

OP, good luck with taking care of yourself x

With a 4 month old I did nothing, except baby cinema.

Now I'm back at work, I try to prioritise exercise and go for a run or to the gym before work 3 times per week. I will occasionally go to the cinema on my own after work and leave DH to do pickups and bedtimes.

Sometimes I get a day pass from pay as u gym for a fancy gym with pool, Jacuzzi, nice bar etc (about £9), and spend a morning there, either at the weekend or use annual leave. That feels like the height of luxury.

I think with a 4 month old you can do quite a lot for you with them - museums, galleries, shopping, etc - if you have one that will sleep in the pram.

I crochet, I learned from YouTube it's so therapeutic and I make toys and blankets for my dd and nieces and friends.

1. Read
2. Gym
3. Get my nails done.
4. Bubble bath with glass of wine