Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not send my boy to school

83 replies

Clairaloulou · 03/02/2019 18:20

My DS has brittle asthma and a blood disorder. He has symptoms every day and he is more unwell that not at the mo. He has been in hospital very poorly, with confirmed flu (positive test result - I say this because so many people say they have flu but it's a heavy cold), a secondary bacterial chest infection and it has triggered his asthma. He was on oxygen for 36 hours, hourly nebulisers, oxygen levels 87% without oxygen. We got out of hosp on weds. Tamiflu, antibiotics steroids etc etc. His asthma has settled now and he's over the flu symptoms, still cough, white as a sheet and wiped out. He seemed to have perked up so we came out for tea, but he's completely done in now, asleep in the car both ways and has gone straight up to bed to watch tv. He started being poorly a week ago thu night so he had fri off and then the whole of last week off school.

I'd originally said to school he'd be back on mon (tomorrow) but now I'm worried I'm pushing him too hard. I don't want to risk making him poorly again, but I'm conscious he's had lots of time off already. Part of me thinks bugger school, his health is more important. But on the other hand he struggles with school with dyslexia and a few other bits and bobs.

Id appreciate other people's thoughts please Smile

OP posts:
moanymoaner · 03/02/2019 18:53

Don't send him. He will end up poorly again as his immune system is going to be low. Keep him home if you can.

iamthere123 · 03/02/2019 18:54

As a teacher you are exactly sort of person that I would take pleasure in bending over backwards for. I would be happy to send work home, if requested, or help to organise a phased return, if that suited. You sound lovely and thoughtful for both your child's health and for his education.

MaisyPops · 03/02/2019 18:55

I wouldn't send him in, but if you're worried about him getting behind then you could always ask school for missed work that he could do to catch up if he has moments of feeling a little clearer.

Health has to come first OP and schools know that.

Borderterrierpuppy · 03/02/2019 18:55

No I wouldn’t send him until he is totally over it, just not worth it. Hope he feels better soon xxx

tor8181 · 03/02/2019 18:58

hes home anyway why dont you look in to home education

Mumofonetwothree · 03/02/2019 18:59

Don't send him. If you are worried about his education then suggest that they get some work together and you'll collect it for him to do at home at his own pace.

Even when feeling a bit better I would suggest a phased return...maybe half days for a week to see how he is and make sure he's not too exhausted by it all.

Harryo · 03/02/2019 19:00

He needs at least another week (possibly 2) to recuperate or he'll have a relapse if he is still run down.

Ask school for homework instead.

QueenieInFrance · 03/02/2019 19:02

I wouldn’t send him home.
When you told the school he would be back this Monday, I assume you had no idea about the flu, the issue with asthma, the chest infection etc...
Ring them on Monday and tell them he is still unwell. Dint give them a date and see how he is doing.
Atm he is clearly not well enough for a day at school.
He might well be by Tuesday.

TeacupDrama · 03/02/2019 19:03

if he is up to it you can do 15 minutes reading a bit of times table practice or something with him if he is not up to it he is not ready to go back to school
even a mini topic that he can research and stop when he is tired

QueenieInFrance · 03/02/2019 19:03

Sorry it was meant to be ‘I wouodnt send him to school’ not home... Hmm

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/02/2019 19:04

Absolutely keep him at home until he’s fully recovered.

Howdyhihi · 03/02/2019 19:05

What lessons does he have tomorrow? You could always send him in for one or two lessons and pick him up after. Providing you've got the flexibility to do so.

I had glandular fever for 3 months when I was 12. The fatigue was horrendous, completely wiped out. We had an arrangement with the school that I'd aim to do at least 1 lesson most days. It meant we could prioritise Maths and English and I could be given work to do at home and would have half an idea what was going on because I'd have been in that lesson at some point during the week.

Though in your situation I'd worry about him picking up something else! I'm sure that school will be understanding whatever you choose.

Whatcouldpossiblygowrong · 03/02/2019 19:09

If he’s not well enough- don’t send him in. Ask them to send an update of what the class are doing- a worksheet- or at least basic info so you can talk it through and he doesn’t feel too out of touch- when he does go back - do a staggered start for two days - lunch first day and then 2.15 next day before full days. Based on experience

BusyMum47 · 03/02/2019 19:10

I wouldn't send him in- I'd phone school, explain & ask for some work that you can do at home then arrange a phased return so that he builds up to all day every day. His health definitely comes before school. Hope he's back to full health soon. X

Yabbers · 03/02/2019 19:12

Take as long as he needs. If you’re worried, get some work from school if he’s up to it. DD has a whole heap of time off and I never send her if she will struggle too much. School are fine wth that.

Mummyshark2019 · 03/02/2019 19:12

Keep him home. Let him build up his strength.

formerbabe · 03/02/2019 19:14

I think it's awful nowadays that school attendance is so closely monitored that people feel they have to consider sending their children in when they're not up to it. I get if someone buggers off in term time for a week to Spain or a feckless parent can't be bothered to get them ready and take them in, but it's just getting ridiculous now. Children should be able to rest and recuperate. His health comes first op...do what's best for him.

EmUntitled · 03/02/2019 19:16

Don't send him in.
If you dont want him to get too far behind, email the class teachers and see if they can send work home and/or point you to the right bit of GCSE bitesize so if he is feeling up to it you can do a bit of work.

FrancisCrawford · 03/02/2019 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deleriumdreamer · 03/02/2019 19:19

Another teacher here, his health is totally more important than school. We can always tell when a kid is out of sorts because they just can’t take in or focus when they are feeling that wiped out. Ask the school for work home and him recover. Hope he’s feeling better soon x

Ellie56 · 03/02/2019 19:27

Yes I think you should keep him at home too. If he's not well he isn't going to learn anything, and he's at risk of picking up a whole load of other germs. If you are concerned about him getting behind, ask if they can send some work/direct you to some websites fior the times when he feels more up to doing things.

Yulebealrite · 03/02/2019 19:34

Bless him. He needs to be at home in the warm and away from the germs.
Ask the school for a bit of work for him.

Yulebealrite · 03/02/2019 19:36

And resist any pressure for school stats. You know if he is ready or not.

coldwinternights101 · 03/02/2019 19:37

Unless he's year 11/13 I would keep him off - and even then I would probably keep him off, but have him doing work/revision at home.

Poor lad. A dinner with family is nowhere near as tiring as a school day either.

Hope he feels a bit better soon.

Clairaloulou · 03/02/2019 19:38

Thanks everyone for your support!

Sorry I tried my best not to drip feed - he's 10. In our area (uk) we have a middle school so he goes there in sept. So current year 5 is a fairly big deal.

Home ed is not an option - I am even more ill than he is! Heart failure, kidney disease, fibromyalgia etc etc etc. I have had the flu too. It's knocked me on my arse too but we're on our own so I've no time to be in hospital 😁

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread