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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if there is a problem with her

59 replies

Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:46

My neighbours house is horrendous dirty and messy.
I'm not just talking normal dirty or messy it's littered everywhere with even everyday items like irons etc just randomly lying on the floor along with letters that look like they have been opened and then just chucked. You can't get across the landing as there is all manner of items lying in the way hairdryer, mirrors, pictures, old duvets, etc she starts things like bits of painting and doesn't finish etc sometimes you hear something crunching under your feet and realise you have trodden on something breakable that shouldn't even be there.
Cooker is thick with grease remains of food in the plughole.
She buys plants etc for the garden but they just get left sitting. Broken garden ornaments everywhere.
I'm getting increasingly concerned and she also has a mice problem now.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 18:47

Well she pretty clearly has a mental health issue

Does she live alone? How old is she?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:49

Yes she lives alone and is on antidepressants but I'm not even sure if she realises how bad it is.

OP posts:
GalacticChickenShit · 02/02/2019 18:49

Janice? I'll pop over for a cuppa tomorrow 👍🏻

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:49

She is 48

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:50

She jokes that she is untidy

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 18:50

why does it concern you?
can you help her?

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 18:51

Who is Janice? Confused

HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 18:52

i think galactic is saying she is also untidy,

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:52

Because where will this end horace. I have tried to help her tidy but in no time its back to square one.

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 18:53

unless you go there frequently i dont know if you can change her.

can you talk to her about things?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:53

I didn't get the Janice comment either

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:54

Have given hints but she just jokes about it

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 18:54

does she do anything with her life?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:55

She is in and out of temporary jobs but never seems to hold them down for long.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2019 18:56

I've been trying to think of soaps with Janice and Horace in, and then I realised Horace was a user name. Doh.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:56

She was dismissed a couple of times for daft stuff.

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 18:57

oh dear
does she have children?/teens?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:58

When not working she will lie in bed till midday eating junk.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 18:59

No children, parents live a far away, she had a couple or so mates but they stopped coming.

OP posts:
talesfromthedragonsnest · 02/02/2019 19:00

I had a friend like this, her DH left her over it. A lovely friend but when you stepped in her house OMG I thought she was plain lazy, had low standards and little pride in her home preferring to read, crochet, spend time on a popular parenting forum or pursue her own hobbies. Eventually, my DC refused to go there as it made their skin crawl. A mummified dead mouse found in her son's room and I tackled her about it, she called me judgy, we fell out. Certainly not a money issue. In hindsight, I feel some people simply don't value cleanliness and they prioritize other things over keeping a house clean.

I would leave the neighbour be, call social services if you are really concerned then keep out of it.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 19:01

But to call the social on somebody who doesn't even realise she has a problem How's it gonna pan out.

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 19:01

encourage her to get out
or make remarks about housework in the morning and go out in the afternoon?
or make pointed remarks about How Clean is your house, to guilt trip her

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 02/02/2019 19:05

Could try a few tactics. When she does go out she just spends money needlessly and the items are never used and just left about cluttering up everywhere

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 02/02/2019 19:06

if she is on anti depressants it does sound like she is depressed.

talesfromthedragonsnest · 02/02/2019 19:06

Guilt tripping doesn't work, they don't see the filth and mess, they have nose blindness too.