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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Co-worker "keeping tabs" on me...

76 replies

StalePrincessofBelAir · 01/02/2019 12:55

Apologies for the long post (don't want to drip feed) and I've NC for this.

I feel like one of my co-workers (we'll call her Ann) is keeping tabs on me and is complaining/reporting about me to her manager (Jane). We haven't got the same manager and are technically in different departments, though work near each other and occasionally cross over responsibilities.

Today I had permission from my manager (John) to work from home because of icy conditions worsening throughout the day. I came in for the morning and when I told Ann I had planned on leaving at my lunch hour during daylight hours, Ann (who has some limited HR responsibilities) asked if I would be using holiday. I replied that I would be doing research from home (same as I would from work), but I wouldn't need to drive in the dark. She pulled a face and said that I should email that to John and copy in Jane as well.

Jane has called me in before to chat because she had received some "comments" about me, regarding how I am sometimes too blunt. No examples or situations were given, but I was told that I should consider looking to Ann to model her way of speaking. I do have a straight-forward way of talking and don't believe in dancing around topics, as I have noticed that Ann does. I am not from the UK and phrases like "Could you please print this if you have a minute, is that ok?", I would simply say as "Could you please print this?". I also don't faff around "having a look around the office" (as Ann does) when I answer the phone if I know someone is unavailable; I just say "So-and-so isn't available at the moment, can I take a message?".

I have taken the feedback from Jane and applied it, as she is a manager in my company, but don't think it is beneficial to me or anyone else. John only ever talks to me about my job performance in a positive manner. He has told me that Jane has reported "comments" to him, but he hasn't had an issue with my demeanor.

I haven't ever made a complaint about anybody in the office. I generally like everyone in the office (including Ann), but I growing concerned that she (and potentially Jane) don't like me and want me out. I find it worrying that people are keeping tabs on me when I do work really hard. AIBU to be wary of this situation?

OP posts:
StalePrincessofBelAir · 02/02/2019 22:34

Thank you all for your input.

It's so complicated, trying to navigate expectations and niceties in a different culture! I wouldn't dream of being rude, but I am worried I'm giving off that impression, I don't know why they seem to dislike me.

OP posts:
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