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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

First and surnames on leavers hoodies is a safeguarding issue

362 replies

SavonDeMarseille · 01/02/2019 09:08

Just found out the Y6 leavers hoodies (FFS since when was this a thing for Yr6!) will have the full names on their hoodies in the year number with their own name above the number and the school emblem and name on the front. AIBU to think this is a big safeguarding issue and should not be permitted. AI also BU or to want to take this up with the PTA who are organising this. Hoodies are worn all week on Yr 6 school trip.

OP posts:
Yabbers · 02/02/2019 09:29

Why is it so difficult for people to understand?

If you don’t want your child’s name, first or last, not to be on it, don’t put their name on it. They can still have a hoodie, they aren’t missing out, their name isn’t on it. Others want their name as they think it’s a lovely momento. Everyone gets a hoodie, nobody is sad.

Nobody has suggested parents/guardians of at risk kids are wet fish for being protective. What’s wet fish about it is the frenzied “nobody must do this because somebody (note: not my child) might be at risk”

It’s just as “I’m all right, Jack” to suggest that everyone loses out in a situation where there is a perfectly sensible solution which means nobody is disadvantaged.

littlebillie · 02/02/2019 09:47

Oh dear, just wait until they get to high school. You have no idea what is coming, fretting over a sweater isn't really an big issue.

Weetabixandshreddies · 02/02/2019 09:50

@babyboyHarrison

Yes, their name on a bag or alice band or something - I agree. I never let my children have those because that advertises what their name is.

But a list of 30 names? How on earth does a stranger know which name relates to that individual child?

N0rdicStar · 02/02/2019 10:00

Those that can’t afford it are disadvantaged.

Do printing companies let parents just put a first name when everybody else on it has both?

An end of school momento should be provided to all the class end of. Every child is valid and will want that momento and to be included.

My children had a medal, lovely printed scrapbook and pen paid for by PTA so everybody got them. Hoodies are not necessary or a very nice idea when children are excluded.

If they were paid for in full by PTA and printing companies let parents decide exactly what went on so every child had said momento I’d be happier. A child broken hearted at leaving primary having their last day even more upsetting due to being singled out by not having a matching hoody and momento is not on imvho.

SoupDragon · 02/02/2019 10:09

The printing companies don't give a stuff what name you put on it - it's just text as far as fhey are concerned.

As an aside, it's memento, not momento. Something I learnt shockingly late in life so this is not an arsy post!!

roundaboutthetown · 02/02/2019 10:19

Why the hell would a printing company not print what you asked it to?! Of course they can do full names or just first names, or a combination of both. The person ordering the hoodies tells them what they want and whether or not they are happy with the layout. As for a medal - that would be straight in the bin in our household. I hate medals - pointless trinkets of no use. The hoodies, on the other hand, my children are still wearing several years later, so have been very useful. And they were free, because the PTA paid for them to ensure all children got one. I frequently see children wearing their primary school leavers' hoodies.

Schmoobarb · 02/02/2019 10:20

Those that can’t afford it are disadvantaged.

So because one or two families might not e able to afford a hoody, none of the other 50 kids in the class should get one either?

Schmoobarb · 02/02/2019 10:23

Ours had to pay for the hoody but they got a school dance, yearbook, scroll and their high school tie that no one had to pay for. The school provided the yearbook and the pta paid for the rest.

roundaboutthetown · 02/02/2019 10:33

Ours had to pay for the yearbook - and specify what they were willing to have in it that related to their children, as it contained lots of photos and information. They did not pay for the hoodies, because the PTA wanted those handed out before the end of the school year so that all children could wear them on the year 6 residential. For those, parents only had to specify whether or not they wanted their child's name included in the list and what name should go on there. There was absolutely no controversy about it.

sadwithkiddies · 02/02/2019 12:18

Yabbers - can you comprehend how sad it is to have a hoodie which every name of your friend is on...but yours can not be?
A scrapbook where your friends names and photos and names and in- but yours can not be?
Class School photos that you can not be in?
Birthday parties that cannot be videod or photographed by other parents?
Sports days and Xmas plays that you cannot go to because other parents are allowed to take pictures and you have no idea where those pictures go .....and yes people do put them on social media despite requests from the school not to.
My children are sad when their name is not on the stupid hoodie whether other parents understand it or not....

This issue is bigger than a school hoodie....but we are a tiny voice trying to protect a small handful of the most vulnerable children in society.

roundaboutthetown · 02/02/2019 12:49

sadwithkiddies - dss' primary school banned parents taking photos of school plays, class assemblies, sports days, etc, for a while, to protect the children who were not supposed to be photographed. I'm sorry, but however sad it is for one child, I do not appreciate being forbidden from photographing my own child or having any mementos whatsoever of their school days. It is not much to ask to have a hoodie with no photographs whatsoever in sight and a few names.

bonbonours · 02/02/2019 13:38

I don't really see that it's a safeguarding issue. The point is the children are leaving the school. So it's not even advertising that a child attends a particular school just that they used to. So at most it's saying this child lives or used to live in this town or one of the surrounding areas.
I would have rather had surnames on ours but it was voted for just first names.

Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 14:08

There are loads of souvenirs of a child's school days that don't require naming them publicly, which does put any wearing their name publicly across one social barrier, which can and does get used to manipulate, in the wrong hands.

The same schools that do these hoodies, have given out that advice themselves,not to put your DCs names visibly about their person or bags. Especially when DC are school trips and away from home.

Individual and class photos are fine, the DC knownthe others names, and if they don't they don't need to know as they're not someone they know!

Farcebook and sm in general facilitates some of the most awful crimes, pretending strangers are 'friends' when they are complete unknown randoms. When these hoodies came in I remember being quite confused about the message the schok was trying to convey,having previously demonstrated a very clear privacy and protection policy in all its actions.

The yearbooks also contain all contact info, for instance. You don't have to provide a telephone number, and you don't have to have a hoody, but how horrible to miss out on what everyone else is having?

Thing is a long-standing issue fr anything that school offers to its pupils. The trip to China, or skiing in Austria, etc.

Only those with sufficient money can take up these trips. I'm not sure whether anything should be offered that can't be offered to all, I.e. schools fund places that can't be paid for by the family.

There is no need to have your name on the hoody. In any other circumstances DC wouldn't go out of their way to get their name put on a hoody or t'shirt, or anything.

I don't see the problem with all the names in small listed within a year number, as only those with the hoodies ca n actually see the names, so its for them, and all should be able to have their names in there.

As for taking photos of other DC, just because of 'mementos' well no, you shouldn't have that right. I think things like finishing lines of sports day races and so on should be available in pri t hard copy only from the school, to only those involved in the race for example.

When there's an person in the community you tell your DC not to talk to them, not to listen if they say your DMs in hospital I've come to pick you up, etc...but when they day their name! Just like pp said, its happening all the time. I certainly know in our anecdotal experience of school and our own experiences of the school communities ours have been involved in, of many close calls, and instances of under cover police walking with school kids on school run because of abduction attempts, and no, we don't live in a high crime area, quite the opposite. I also know of stalking between families and death threats, people having to move home to be hidden , having police protection.

It does come across a bit on this thread that these things aren't happening. That anyone that's worried is being overly precious, its a real threat to any child walking around in public spaces with their names clearly plastered across their back or chest.

I can't see the need to have your name embroidered onto jumpers or anything at school. Teachers don't.

Mumzy2 · 02/02/2019 14:30

My DD loves her leavers jumper, its a much nicer memento of her time there then the usual white shirt that everyone writes on. (You know the one your mum ends up washing by accident hehe). If your having doubts just opt out. It has a big number on the back with the names of all the kids in small writing. Price wise, the year 6 students in my primary have set up a cake stall after school to raise the money for it so they also get an extra sense of achievment and pride when they receive them. kids have their names on their bookbags and pack lunches which they personally carry. A jumper with 60+ small names on the back is in my opinion not a safeguarding issue.

notahiker · 02/02/2019 14:53

I think we need to get a bit of perspective here.

There is more risk to a child via strangers on internet than that stranger in the street.

There is absolute agreement that some children are very vulnerable to being identified. There are some measures that can prevent that in a controlled environment i.e school or sports club.

Those of you who have an issue about this and your child is not already vulnerable need to read up about the risks of stranger danger on the street. A child is more likely to be abused by someone who knows them or by a stranger on the internet .

Rockbird · 02/02/2019 15:09

roundaboutthetown. I have this. DD1 I have everything. School play, carol concerts, nativities, assemblies the lot. With DD2, nothing. Not a thing. Of course I understand why, but it's so sad for her. They love looking back at themselves and there's none of her memories there at all.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 02/02/2019 15:12

Swear I have seen an identical post a few months ago.

thehorseandhisboy · 02/02/2019 17:08

The risk is what happens with the photograph. Read sadwithkiddies posts up thread. Her family had to move house and schools because someone put one photos of one of her children on social media.

It won't be 'sad' if they're identified. It could cost them their life. And that surely trumps any other families need to put put photos of other children on social media.

VerbenaGirl · 02/02/2019 17:31

We just had a collage of the classes first names in the shape of the year on the bag - no individual identifiers. Maybe have a word with the PTA to see what flexibility there is for everyone to choose?

VerbenaGirl · 02/02/2019 17:32

*back (there were no bags!)

Baconmaker · 02/02/2019 17:37

So because one or two families might not e able to afford a hoody, none of the other 50 kids in the class should get one either?

Anyone who would be happy leaving out a few kids is a total arse to be honest. The PTA should just up the cost slightly to provide for the very few kids who won't be able to afford it.

Schmoobarb · 02/02/2019 17:45

Yeah bacon I wouldn’t object to that at all. I’d chip in if it meant someone not missing out.

But I don’t think a couple of people not being able to afford them is in and of itself a reason not to have them.

Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 17:48

Yes that thehorse and that Bacon - death threats, and DC protection trumps the other shite.

There are loads of souvenirs of school days, noone should have right to take pics of others and post them on sm, its not their right, but they claim it is. Lucky them to be so ignorant of the harm some might face as a result of their actions.

Its easy if you're not affected by it to think its so rare. When it isn't. There will be many DC in a good sized school that do need safeguarding, and ifits not taken seriously thosedc are put at risk

Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 17:51

I think its very un-community-spirited to think its ok for many to have and some to not, especially in something like a shared education environment. I know some schools who do charge more to raise funds for the some who can't afford it, pta doing cake stalls etc. I think its good for all DC to understand they are part of everyone's lives and shared insights for that reason, that they learn to consider those around them, their community.

BIgBagofJelly · 02/02/2019 17:54

I could easily afford the hoodie but would have no objection to a cheaper leaving memento if it meant all the kids could be involved or to chipping in. It really doesn't matter too much what the actual memento is. It would be horrible to leave out one or two. I wouldn't ever consider that - terrible thing to do!