Or a greedy fat cow - bit long sorry

[Ellieboolou27]

I’m so angry right now, husband not fucking so darling at the moment has made a few digs over the last few months about how much weight I’ve put on. I know I’m big, the biggest I’ve ever been (size 18 and 14st). I’ve had weight issues all my life and was bulimic in my teens / 20’s. Been a steady 12/14 but since having my second dc I’ve got very big.

Now I’m finally getting on track, eating properly, exercise and trying to set an example to our kids 3 and 6yrs.
Husband, who always buys to excess comes home yesterday with 4 Easter eggs and 12 bars chocolate (4x multipack) and says they are for our kids! I said they don’t need all this and I being greedy and a chocoholic do NOT need the temptation in the house, so I gave them to a friend to look after, the eggs only as he wanted the chocolate for lunches.

Tonight he comes home and says “oh I see you’ve eaten all the eggs” I said no I’ve given them to x to look after to which he replied “yeah like fuck” then muttered under his breath I’m a fucking greedy fat cow.

I’ve just left him a note saying how shit he has made me feel as if he genuinely cared he would try and support my weight loss and not get Easter eggs months in advance. I’ve gone to bed feeling like I never want to eat again chance would be a fine thing

It’s odd to bring home Easter eggs at this time of year.
And yet supermarket shelves are full of them.

Nasty bastard!! How utterly horrible for you, OP.

Urgh. What a vile human. Who needs enemies ay?

What an arsehole, it seems to me he's trying to sabotage your plan to lose weight. Buying all that food when you asked for one loaf, buying Easter eggs now. Especially when he must know that those are foods that you love.
I'll bet he's the type of insecure twat who is scared that as the weight falls off you the scales will also fall from your eyes and you'll realise that's he is really an unpleasant bully.
Best of luck with your plan to lose weight and you might like to think about losing him too. Find yourself someone who loves you for the person you are and doesn't make cruel comments

Yabbers isn’t that because they have to be sold at a higher price for 28 days or something. And then they can go on special offer for the organised people. And then back up to be reduced in time for the disorganised people.

He's behaving like a feeder. No wonder you're struggling. Even the best of us would struggle if someone kept filling the house with unnecessary food which would just end up going to waste.

He's treating you very badly. You're trying to stick to a normal amount of food, but he insists on buying extra. Then he brings home a pile of the thing you find the hardest to resist. That is simply him saying "fuck you".

Nothing wrong with having a few snacks for lunches etc. But a pile of it, and Easter eggs at this time of year? No. It's not OK.

I havnt even started on how he spoke to you. It's like he did it on purpose, came home and went to check for them and then skipped around with glee because he could make a joke that you'd eaten them all. Then, when you weren't ashamed because you didn't, he used disgusting language and insults.

That's not how you treat someone you love and you deserve so much better.

He’s a prick.

I’m a fucking greedy fat cow.

No you're not. You're married to a feeder who calls you awful names.

He doesn’t want you to lose weight and feel good about yourself. He was banking on you eating those eggs and was annoyed you took control and removed temptation so was nasty to you. What a wonderful supportive life partner. NOT. Remember this feeling and use it to stick to your guns and prove him wrong.

Every time he brings something in you don't want due to temptation take it to a neighbour or for the food bank.

Also... why is he buying Easter eggs as chocolate for work... that's stupidly expensive and a waste with all the packaging....

I assume your kids don't believe in the Easter bunny then??

You are doing a great job. Keep going and ignore his idiotic comments

I'm bigger than you OP and, it's easy to say I know but I'd seriously reconsider my future with DH if he called me a fucking greedy fat cow. That level of nastiness is horrible, no one should be spoken to like that. Loads of luck with your weight loss endeavours. Alas, he'll always be an arsehole.

So sorry OP, 💐

Your problem is your OH is a nasty sly bastard

He's trying to sabotage your weight loss so he can make you feel bad again
and he makes vile comments

The grumpy fucker. I can't blame you getting angry, he undermined your diet, and slagged you off. I get you're no mouse but some times words are so harsh it cuts and leave us speechless, let it spur you on OP.
Tell him again how hurtful he was and you want his support for all the family.
Dump the chocolate, it will wreck the DCs teeth too, let him see it is a family commitment and he needs to be in board.

"He doesn’t want you to lose weight and feel good about yourself. He was banking on you eating those eggs and was annoyed you took control and removed temptation so was nasty to you. "
I suspect something along those lines too. You said that "being this big makes me feel worthless as it is" - have you considered that he might like you to feel worthless?

Some people only feel 'big' if they have made everyone around them feel 'small'. I think that may be what is going on here. In which case, he is an inadequate scumbag.

Over a year ago my DH had literally turned into a fat greedy b'stard over a period of a few years. I watched and waited because he didn't respond to subtlety and said he didn't want or need to change his habits. He would bring home 2 litre bottles of Iron Bru (comfort drink from deprived Scottish childhood) and drink the lot. We are both late fifties, so one day I brought a blood glucose monitor home when our adult DCs were both at home for summer holidays and suggested we all check our blood sugars.

The rest of us went first. Mine was 4.8 and perfectly normal. Kids were also normal. DH was 14.4 and clearly well above normal range, which was what I suspected. My DD and I are both nurses, but he doesn't take heed of any advice I might give, so she urged her Dad to make a GP appointment asap and no surprise diagnosed as Type 2 Diabetes.

Since the diagnosis in August 2018 he has lost about 2 stones in weight, given up beer and bread as well as counting the carbs. He looks great and is feeling better than he had done for a long time. (For any medics or nurses reading Hba1c down to 52 from 112 in less than 6 months).

I have made sure that all products in our home are sugar free and no temptation for him. DD is doing slimming world herself and it is going well, as this brought home to all of us the real need for healthy eating.

Explain to your DH that is is your long term health that matters as well as that of the kids. You are trying and he is sabotaging your efforts.

No, her size isn’t the problem. She’s not complaining about her size, it’s the fact that her so called “D”H is using her size / weight to insult her. When she told him the eggs are all with X, a nice response would have been “oh good idea, well done getting them out of here so they’re not a temptation”. What she did was a strong move to support her weight loss effort. What her DH did was to try and ruin it for her. OP said upfront she was unhappy about her weight, hence she is doing something about it. What she doesn’t need is to be dragged down.

OP - you GO on with your diet, in a few weeks time you will be looking and feeling amazing!

If you lose that little bit of extra weight, he thinks you might realise how attractive you are and throw him out/meet somebody better than him.

Sabotaging you as soon as you start by first bringing in temptation and then verbally abusing you is a ploy to make you feel so bad that you continue to eat so you feel low and accept his behaviour.

He's a cunt.

[Oh, and if he cooks occasionally, watch out - I found an ex bought all high calorie food and fried everything the instant I started trying to eat more healthily. My lightbulb moment (after a few times where he's ignored what I wanted and 'improved it' and got angry when I didn't want it) was turning my back for an instant after saying I didn't fancy a burger and chips, was having beans on toast and no, thank you, I don't want the toast buttered, only to walk back in to see him carefully melting an entire pack of butter into the beans. 'I'm making them glossy for you'.

Like fuck was he. He was deliberately trying to sneak in an extra 1,800 calories into a fucking meal - and his defence after that was 'well, it's not like it's going to make any difference to your size, is it?']

He's not very nice. Do you want to be with him?

AnneLovesGilbert,

DH has a condition that predisposes him to skinnyness, unless he drinks alcohol. Over the summer he got fat. (for him). I didn't like it and told him, he has lost some of the weight, but as long as he continues to drink too much he will not be the man I married. There is no point dancing around it, he didn't want to hear it, but he NEEDED to hear it. He probably thought I was a cunt as well.

@dadshere

Not to be too much of a cunt here, but it is your overeating that is the problem. He was insensitve, but I think the root cause here is your size.

He went way past insensitive when he called his wife a "fucking greedy fat cow".

I don't think it's anything to do with OP s size (which isn't exactly obese) but her husband being nasty and trying to derail her diet by buying unnecessary amounts of food she loves.
Well done OP for putting it out of temptation. Maybe you could put that other toxic unhealthy thing out of your life and throw the rude idiot out.

dadshere

Not easy for OP to try and lose weight with bargain basement chocolate Easter eggs sitting around. The whole family need to be on board to support changes in eating habits.

If you are happy to be size 18 he should love all of you
No he shouldn't, you can't force attraction. I'm afraid I've had partners who have piled it on and the attraction evapourated. However, his way of addressing it was deeply insensitive.

This whole schtick of "your partner should love you at any size" is just the emperor's new clothes. Some people are comfortable with larger partners, some are not. Don't try to make it an invariant that somehow your SO should be attracted to you no matter what, because that's not how attraction works.