Help me quit drink.

[Seeleyboo]

Posting for traffic as i need help. I have decided to stop drinking. No amount of telling myself I can have it Fridays and Saturdays oh and a midweek tipple but then again it's Thursday now has helped. Sunday is the last day of the week and Monday is depressing and so on. When I drink I have a bottle of wine and then I over eat. I have put on almost 5 stone in 3 years. No bashing just helpful advice please. There maybe reasons I do this but to me there are no more excuses. Thanks

Where do you drink, @Seeleyboo? At home or out socially?

Sadly at home. Once the kids have gone to bed. I make excuse after excuse. Will stop Monday. Will have 3 bottles a week instead of 9 bla bla. Im disgusted with myself. I spoke to the gp and was told I just need to stop. Week d'oh ya but help me.

Would removing availability help? As in, not having any alcohol in the house at all, ever? Or are you at the point where you would go out to get it, kids-in-bed notwithstanding?

kate at The Sober School is great. I would give her course a go if I were you, it's great for support. thesoberschool.com/

Lots of blogs like Sober senorita.

I went to AA. Changed my life and sooooo good for gossip. online meets also.

Just stop, today, now. Get rid of what you have in, don't buy any more.

Far better to just cut it dead then try to cut down or make promises to stop next week.

Go cold turkey. Far more likely to work.

It's just habit/behaviour - break the habit, change behaviour and you're half way there.

Can you find something to do in the evening to distract yourself? Eg something creative like crafts or drawing or a colouring book?
Or a different way to relax? Bath or meditation? You can get apps for meditation. Yoga on YouTube.
Have you got a lot of stress in your life that is making you reach for a drink? Can you do anything about the things bothering you?
Well done for admitting your problem it's not an easy thing to face up to.

There isn't wine in the house however my MIL goes shopping each day and says do you want wine. I always so no and then change my mind and it's the same with my DH. I will find a million excuses to say yes. Im pathetic hence why I am going cold turkey as of today. It's impacting my finances too. As soon as I drink I order a bloody takeaway ffs even though I've meal prepped all week with health home cooked food. This week alone I've spent 75 on takeaways and 20 on wine. Not to mention the wasted food cost. I hate myself.

I have had alot of stress of late. I feel this started after the birth of child 5 3 years ago. Utterly traumatic and I have been suicidal. I'm addressing these issues. As a child I was diagnosed with PTSD because of abuse and the birth triggered terrible flashbacks. Never experienced anything like it. However is this really a good enough reason for my lush lifestyle and the constant reassurances from loved ones that you're amazing and a little wine doesn't hurt and yes you have put on a little weight but you look 20 years younger. Wtaf. They mean well I know but a little weight. Come on 5 stone.

Try club soda group on facebook.. loads of support on there.

No.advice but it's a hard habit to break.I'm trying to cut down

You sound like you're ready to do it. I'm in a similar position. I've bought a few bottles of posh non alcohol drinks today after throwing out everything I had in the house. I need to make this work for my health.

No specific advice, but well done OP

Sounds like you have been using alcohol as a comfort blanket to deal with your past traumas. You say you are getting help for your PTSD etc - if you are able to access counselling hopefully they can help you address your alcohol addiction too.

This may sound incredibly twee but have you ever tried a hobby using your hands like crochet/knitting? I have found that when I am crocheting I don't snack as my hands are busy and I'm totally engrossed. Just thought it might be helpful as a replacement activity.

I really hope you are able to get the help you need. Admitting you have a problem is a big step and it sounds like you really know you need to change. I suspect when you stop drinking then the weight will drop if very quickly - imagine how great you will then feel! You can do it, you just need the right support. MN has some great threads etc for people trying to quit the booze so don't be afraid to dive in.

Can you set yourself a challenge? 10 days? Take a photo now and then after 10 wine free days, the difference in your eyes will be encouraging. Try 30 days, you will lose a good few pounds in 30 days. Set small challenges, see and note the differences in your appearance, it’s very motivating!
Buy a detox kit, You can’t drink on them.
Put the money you would spend on wine I’m a jar, £5/10 a day really adds up, save it up and spend it on that expensive item that you have been coveting!

Remove the access to funds. So give tour DH or someone your purse. Ask them for money when you need. Make them ask you what the money is for. You need to take away the ability to pay for all this then you point blank won't be able to end of. You need to tell your family how you feel so they can support you instead of enabling you.

Many thanks all. I know it's going to be so hard. It's odd really as i want the wine and often now don't even like the taste anymore. I'm not getting help with PTSD as there isn't any available in my area but I'm dealing with it in my own way and I have improved dramatically from the wreck I was after the birth upto about her 18 month point. I am an older mum and I need to do this to offer my children an active mum who is alive and well in 10 years time.

Fatas

Great idea. I will try that. I recently gave it up in the week for 2 weeks and lost 7 pounds but hit the bottle and junk again.

It is so hard, you get caught up in a bad cycle.
Can you try plan your evening better, nice bath book and bed, have you any hobbies. I think once you get over the first week you'll feel the benefits.

I am not suggesting you're an alcoholic but reading some success stories of life after drink can help, there are sites online.

I hope things get better OP.
Believe you can do it, make it work for you, acknowledging the problem is a great start.

I quit drinking except for bona fide celebrations, and only out if the house for my diet, and find diet ginger beer really helpful.

It is sweet and fizzy enough that the 'hit' often tames that first craving for a drink.

Might not make as good a sub for wine as cider though. It feels SO much better to skip the drink most days though. I think a lot of people are in denial about the "small" effect of daily drinking, because they're used to it.

Now I'm one of those tedious twats who hardly drinks alcohol and caffeine.

Don't be hard on yourself op, you have had a lot on your plate.
I would suggest that if you are serious you need to tell your Mil so that she doesn't buy you any wine and why you are giving it up in case you are not strong enough to refuse it.

Hi OP, there is a long-running thread on the 'Relationships' board that you might find useful. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3459735-?pg=17&order=
I hope it is of benefit to you.

If you feel uncomfortable with the amount you drink then it’s a valid problem.

From what I’ve read and seen the drug or drink or whatever the outlet is not the problem, it’s your way of self soothing temporarily.

See a therapist if you can. Find a way to get to the root of the issue you are unhappy with. Whatever help you are getting it’s not quite right or not enough? Maybe without the drink it will be clearer - so could get worse before it gets better. It will get better tho as you’ve already made the hardest step.

Maybe a new healthier hobby in the evenings could help too? Sometimes doing something different at the time you would drink can help.

Ask MIL and DH to stop bringing wine in the house. Just say you are trying to lose weight and wine is extremely calorific (if it’s not enough to just say you don’t want it or that you feel you drink too much!)

I plan to tell MIL today. And DH too. He can have alcohol in the house as i won't touch his. It's only wine I have a liking to. I am going to take baby steps. See if I can get through to Monday now without it would be a massive achievement for me. Fingers crossed.

I don’t drink much anymore. I don’t really understand why people want to get drunk or have hang overs. I’m more boring now probably. It was kind of my way of dealing with stuff or being sociable when I didn’t want to be or I felt anxious. Now I just don’t be sociable if I don’t want to hahaha and I’m not anxious anymore either.

No real advice but to say you need the help of other people - it’s almost impossible to do this alone. I know from experience how self-destructive behaviour can bring one to a very low point so very best wishes and good luck to you.