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Original poster

Help me quit drink.

59 replies

Seeleyboo · 31/01/2019 12:25

Posting for traffic as i need help. I have decided to stop drinking. No amount of telling myself I can have it Fridays and Saturdays oh and a midweek tipple but then again it's Thursday now has helped. Sunday is the last day of the week and Monday is depressing and so on. When I drink I have a bottle of wine and then I over eat. I have put on almost 5 stone in 3 years. No bashing just helpful advice please. There maybe reasons I do this but to me there are no more excuses. Thanks

OP posts:
funnystory · 31/01/2019 14:05

I'd recommend following The Alcohol Experiment (it's free). I've been following it for about a month now and it's really changed how I view alcohol. I don't feel I'm missing out by not having it, instead I'm enjoying the positives, like being able to drive to the shop in the evening, remembering all the conversations I have, not wasting days trying to look after my young kids while nursing a hangover.

I've not stopped completely as I can't quite kick that feeling of wanting a glass of wine with a nice dinner to relax on the weekend when the kids are in bed, but I pour it and don't really want it to be honest, and often end up sipping the same drink most of the evening instead of guzzling it down. I may stop those weekend drinks at some point, I just don't feel ready to completely give up at the moment.

I think you need to look for the positives in the change or else it will be much harder. I'm surprised how quickly my thinking has changed and how I'm not craving a drink during the week, I really don't miss it at all. Previously, I was pouring a glass at 5pm when making the kids dinner most days and would often continue on through the evening. I'd be agitated if I could only see there was half a bottle of wine left in the house on a Tuesday evening. I always seemed to be taking empty bottles to the bottle bank.

Good luck, you can do it, and I bet you'll feel so much more able to deal with the stresses of life when you're not adding alcohol to the mix.

Mharte88 · 31/01/2019 14:06

You have managed to work out for yourself you cannot do it alone, 31 years ago, so did I. I just walked into a AA meeting in my town and was greeted by the most caring and wise people I have ever met. Yes, its hard, stopping, but without their help staying stopped was impossible. If you take that first step, you will not look back, I can promise you that. Otherwise it will take everything from you, it appeared to offer when you first picked up that very first drink. Kind regards Grace :)

beachyhead · 31/01/2019 14:07

Could you look at EDMR therapy for your PTSD? There are more and more therapists trained in it now.

Tweety1981 · 31/01/2019 14:08

It sounds like you are using the wine to relax . Every time you feel like drinking just think of something else that helps you feel chilled and happy , eh , hot bath soak , or your favourite tv / movie . Maybe talking to someone helps , like calling a friend ?

Eventually you will do the other things and not drink ..
Don’t kick yourself if you have a cake and biscuit with acup of tea instead of the wine and a takeaway ...as long as you start slowly cutting down on the drink that is a step in the right direction .

Good luck

Lambzig · 31/01/2019 14:11

I was the same until last September. Every week I would say I won’t drink Sunday to Thursday and every week I did. For years.

I read the Jason Vale book and haven’t had a drink since. More to the point I really have not wanted one either. I don’t miss it at all. I can’t tell you why that book worked for me (it’s badly written and very repetitive) but it really did.

Miyajima89 · 31/01/2019 14:16

Hi OP,

Yes I have some specific tips as I have been there, totally get where you're coming from, and managed to quit, this time last year!

  1. Read "The Sober Diaries" by Clare Pooley. She wrote a blog called Mummy Was A Secret Drinker and this book is the diary of her journey. It's funny and easy to read and she is amazing and completely relatable. I read this in two days! Reading this book completely changed my life as I thought, if she can do it so can I!
  1. Get rid of booze from the house and tell people not to bring it round. Buy a box of Becks Blue and keep it chilled in the fridge. I wasn't a beer drinker as I loved wine, but these are the only non-alcoholic drink on the market which actually taste like the real thing. I found in the early days I had a craving for a glass of wine at about 7pm, and I would pop one of these open and within 5 minutes I was fine and didn't want wine anymore. Important to have them nice and chilled so you "trick" yourself into thinking it's the real thing. They are only 33 calories each too! I did this for a few months and then was able to wean myself off those and I only really have water now. But these were a helpful crutch at the time.
  1. Use MyFitnessPal app to log all your daily calories and set a goal weight target (start small). Logging my wine intake made me see how much it added up to. Logging Becks Blue instead became super rewarding because I could SEE the difference!
  1. Get some therapy for your PTSD, and do some work on your core beliefs about yourself. Your self-talk sounds really negative and demotivating.

Good luck OP! Xx

Original poster
Seeleyboo · 31/01/2019 15:52

Everyone has been so kind and helpful. So MIL has been round ask asked if I want wine and I said no and she's gone now. 1st step. DH just rang and said are we getting wine tonight and I said nope. Not doing it and he said good one. See you soon. 2nd step. 3rd step is for me to make some home cooked food instead of teaching for the takeaway ap. Will tonight be a success. Sounds pathetic really but one day at a time I guess. I've read all the replies and I am looking at all the links and suggestions of books etc. Thank you all.

OP posts:
user1497787065 · 31/01/2019 16:00

Have a read of The Sober Diaries by Claire
Pooley. Her own account of giving up drinking. Although I don't consider that I have any kind of dependency I probably drink about six to eight units per week I could still see so many similarities to how I felt when I have a couple glasses of wine.

FreshlyWashed · 31/01/2019 16:01

Good luck Seeley. If it helps, I was a massive drinker as well. My dr told me I really needed to cut down. I start diluting my wine 50/50 with water. I also left the bottle in the kitchen instead of on the floor next to me (so I had to actually get up if I wanted to top up my glass). This gave me time to think "do I actually want/need this next glass?"

If I were you, I'd separate the dealing with alcohol/dealing with food - I say one battle at a time.

Good luck with what you're trying tonight. Flowers

I hope you do ok. Please do come back and update us. I really hope you make it. I PROMISE... I was the heaviest drinker of all my friends 18 months ago. I'm not any more. If I can do, I'm sure you'll be able to as well

RayRayBidet · 31/01/2019 16:31

Good luck, you can do it Brew
Start with things that are easy to cook, you have taken a big step.

First day of the rest of your life, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Original poster
Seeleyboo · 31/01/2019 21:12

So I made it. Home cooked meal and no drink. Off to bed now. Day 1 done.

OP posts:
Hoopaloop · 31/01/2019 21:17

Like someone else said, try not to have booze in the house. This is what I had to do as I'd buy with the intention of rationing it over several days/the week but then would nail the lot and go through same routine the next day.

EmeraldShamrock · 31/01/2019 21:20

@Seeleyboo
Good for you, use nice deep breathing to relax and sleep. Flowers
Oh turn off notifications.

Original poster
Seeleyboo · 01/02/2019 12:22

Did my weekly shop and I bought Becks blue. Walked past all the wine. Wasn't even difficult to be honest.

OP posts:
AverageHuman · 01/02/2019 12:29

Brilliant start

IsFuzzyBeagMise · 01/02/2019 12:36

Good luck, Seeleyboo, well done.

LuckyAmy1986 · 01/02/2019 12:37

Find something else to replace it with, a really delicious drink. Or maybe not alchoholic wine to start with?

LuckyAmy1986 · 01/02/2019 12:37

Oh sorry I’m late to the party I see! Good luck op c

Confusedbeetle · 01/02/2019 12:40

kazzy Howard, thats a bit simplistic, have you ever done the same?

AverageHuman · 01/02/2019 12:45

Did u talk to DH and MIL? How did it go?

Lamentations · 01/02/2019 13:07

Great podcasts to listen to are Love Sober, the unruffled and Edit.

I think a PP has mentioned Annie Grace already but her This Naked Mind book is excellent and will help you to rethink it because I doubt that not drinking while still really wanting to will work long term for anyone.

I also recommend Lucy Rocca books and Soberistas online community.

You don't have to do this anymore.

Ragnarthe · 01/02/2019 13:07

Well done you!

Kazzyhoward · 04/02/2019 08:48

kazzy Howard, thats a bit simplistic, have you ever done the same?

Yes, I'd tried other ways to cure my addiction over 3 decades, such as cutting down, etc., but in the end the only thing that worked with to go completely cold turkey. Hard at first, but you need to distract yourself, remove all temptations, and it comes good in the end.

Original poster
Seeleyboo · 05/02/2019 11:08

Just checking in. Day 6. Still going dry. Thanks all. I've joined the group recommended on FB too.

OP posts:
IsFuzzyBeagMise · 05/02/2019 11:31

Good for you, Seeleyboo. I'm delighted to see your update.

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