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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU with MIL selling my lent items?

73 replies

Reallyevilmuffin · 31/01/2019 12:12

We live a fair distance from the MIL. DP told me about 2 years ago that her MILs fridge had broken and they didn't have one. They were coming down for a visit so I offered them my own Guinness branded fridge (you know the glass fronted ones you see in bars) that I had spent a decent amount of a while back and was using at the time in the living room as I thought it was the nice thing to do. I definitely said to DP that we could lend it for as long as they needed but admittedly no idea what DP said to MIL.

I did forget about this and it was never mentioned to me when we were at MILs or she was here. I really liked that fridge and wanted it back as it was surprisingly good sized and effective, and looked nice. DP got a notification through that she sold it on sphock for like £40, and it was listed as sold by the time my DO got the message that friend X is selling a new item.

She has form and has sold items we have given her before, but they were only a little CF as we didn't want them anyway so I wasn't really bothered. But the fridge I actively wanted back. AIBU to be really pissed about this? It happened a couple of months ago but I just keep getting annoyed about it. Bizzarely she has bought a second white fridge for her living room area as well which just looks weird.

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 31/01/2019 12:20

Tell her about it and say you are really mad and want it back. You let her borrow it and it wasn't hers to sell. I wouldn't lend her anything else especially as she has previous form for this. She's really rude.

flamboyantchorizo · 31/01/2019 12:20

She needs to replace it! Don't be fobbed off with the £40 either, you want to the same item back. Cheeky bitch. Though do check that your DP told her it was a loan - if not he needs to be the one buying a new one.

Thehop · 31/01/2019 12:22

You need to find out if your do told her it was “to borrow”?

PregnantSea · 31/01/2019 12:24

Demand she pays you for a new one. How dare she do that?

LordPickle · 31/01/2019 12:27

ShockShockShock That's bang out of order. How in the world could she genuinely believe she had the right to sell something you let her borrow? She's a CF of the highest order.

ScreamingValenta · 31/01/2019 12:27

It depends what your DP told her.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 31/01/2019 12:29

call her out on it. selling a lent item isn't ok, especially without checking.

Mmmhmmm · 31/01/2019 12:32

CF she needs to replace yours.

BudgiePie · 31/01/2019 12:34

Wtf you needed to say at the time "that is not ok, we lent you that we did not give it to you to keep and then sell on" but if it was 2 months ago you just need to move on now. Don't lend her anything ever again. No matter what the sob story!

Fabaunt · 31/01/2019 12:34

I think she needs to replace it, you wanted it back, so tell her she needs to get you one of the same and no more lending her things

Fazackerley · 31/01/2019 12:35

Both of you are being VU for having a fridge in your living room.

But apart from that, she's a CF

Nquartz · 31/01/2019 12:35

Before you go all guns blazing to MIL you need to know what your DP told her when he passed it on.

If it was clear it was a loan then fire away! If not, your DP needs to cough up for a replacement.

Blondebakingmumma · 31/01/2019 12:36

I can’t believe she sold it! I have no words...😶

RomanyRoots · 31/01/2019 12:36

It depends on what your dp told her.
As she has form for this don't give her her anything else she will sell. Forget presents she'll sell them, and when it comes to B'day/xmas tell her why.

MyKingdomForBrie · 31/01/2019 12:38

I would have just called straight away and told her to cancel the sale. Have you spoken to her about it? Why fume in silence, just talk to her.

Don't lend her anything in future either.

Knittedfairies · 31/01/2019 12:38

You need to know what your DP said to her about the fridge.

CalamityJane10 · 31/01/2019 12:40

Ask her to return it (on the basis she now has a new fridge) and see what she says.

flowery · 31/01/2019 12:41

It happened two months ago or you found out two months ago?

If you found out two months ago presumably DP spoke to her. What did she say?

aethelgifu · 31/01/2019 12:42

She's beyond rude! I'd tell her I know she sold it. I don't think she'll ever replace it. People like this never do. I wouldn't ever loan her another thing.

Original poster
Reallyevilmuffin · 31/01/2019 12:49

It happened 2 months ago. By the time the notification had come through it had already been sold. DP does not have the mental strength to speak to the MIL about it (she is only recently out of the mother and baby unit) but I am still super super pissed off about it. I didn't push for it at the time, but I just can't stop being annoyed about it. DP thinks MIL is hang out of orders indeed she got much more upset when she was selling the other items but I placated her saying it was stuff we were not wanting or using. However this is something I actively had a use for and would have liked back.

OP posts:
Reastie · 31/01/2019 12:53

I’d go in innocently not knowing she’s sold it (as she hasn’t told you) and just mention to her if you could have back the fridge she borrowed once she doesn’t need it any longer and see what she says.

My mil has form for selling stuff we have let her borrow, it’s really annoying and I try to avoid lending her things now. I once read only lend something that you aren’t going to miss if you never get it back.

Fraying · 31/01/2019 13:00

I can see it's annoying but she has had the fridge for 2 years. Your DP is just out of the mother-and-baby unit. I don't think I'd be creating a lot of unnecessary stress about this. Ultimately, it's going to turn into a she said/she said between your MIL and your DP. Your DP doesn't need that just now.

timetoriseandshine · 31/01/2019 13:03

Whether DP told her it was a 'borrow' or not. It still wasn't her to sell, she should have offered it back firstly! CF absolutely

diddl · 31/01/2019 13:05

I think if your partner can't deal with it & it was between her & her mum then it's probably best left tbh.

She'll probably just say that your partner said you didn't want it back.

Well at least you know now not bother any more, don't you?

KatharinaRosalie · 31/01/2019 13:06

Depends on what DP told her. If he said that you don't need it and she could have it, and you never mentioned during those years you want it back one day - totally different situation than selling a borrowed item where you know the owner wants it back.

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