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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU with MIL selling my lent items?

73 replies

Reallyevilmuffin · 31/01/2019 12:12

We live a fair distance from the MIL. DP told me about 2 years ago that her MILs fridge had broken and they didn't have one. They were coming down for a visit so I offered them my own Guinness branded fridge (you know the glass fronted ones you see in bars) that I had spent a decent amount of a while back and was using at the time in the living room as I thought it was the nice thing to do. I definitely said to DP that we could lend it for as long as they needed but admittedly no idea what DP said to MIL.

I did forget about this and it was never mentioned to me when we were at MILs or she was here. I really liked that fridge and wanted it back as it was surprisingly good sized and effective, and looked nice. DP got a notification through that she sold it on sphock for like £40, and it was listed as sold by the time my DO got the message that friend X is selling a new item.

She has form and has sold items we have given her before, but they were only a little CF as we didn't want them anyway so I wasn't really bothered. But the fridge I actively wanted back. AIBU to be really pissed about this? It happened a couple of months ago but I just keep getting annoyed about it. Bizzarely she has bought a second white fridge for her living room area as well which just looks weird.

OP posts:

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 31/01/2019 13:07

Even if your DP hadn't been clear on it only being a lend, it was still massively cheeky to sell it!

Hugglessnuggles · 31/01/2019 13:09

Your MIL was recently out of the mother and baby unit?

dinkystinky · 31/01/2019 13:13

I think DP is only recently out of the mother and baby unit?

diddl · 31/01/2019 13:14

I think it's odd that you haven't asked for it back in all this time tbh.

If she had form for selling stuff though, I'm surprised that you lent it.

Maybe you should askk for it bak & see what happens-it was yours so & you told your partner that her mum could borrow it-so it wasn't up to her to agree to anything different with her mu.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 31/01/2019 13:16

I'd play innocent and go up to her and say "I'm after seeing that you got a white fridge for the living room, when can I get my Guinness one that I loaned you back please?"
If she trying to act innocent and fob you off, you must have ready that "Oh, that's such a shame you sold it on...it wasn't yours to sell. So, with that in mind, here is the Argos catalogue number and the price of the fridge. Shall we go now to get one as I've checked in X branch and they have them in stock, or shall I just take this one the white one from her living room instead?"

TrickyD · 31/01/2019 13:23

Is having a fridge of any sort in your living room a thing now?

astoundedgoat · 31/01/2019 13:27

Wait - why do you all have fridges in your living rooms in the first place?

And did you at least get the £40 off her?

morningconstitutional2017 · 31/01/2019 13:30

Don't lend her anything ever again unless you want to see the back of it.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 31/01/2019 13:34

I'm with @WhatchaMaCalllit play dumb and ask for it back. There is no way I would sell something that someone gave or lent me, but that's just me!

Drum2018 · 31/01/2019 13:35

Seeking as she didn't tell you that she was selling it, you should text her and ask her when she will be able to drop back your fridge. If she admits to selling it tell her it really wasn't hers to sell. While you are not likely to get it back, at the very least she might realise she shouldn't have done it. And never lend her anything again.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 31/01/2019 13:44

Wait - why do you all have fridges in your living rooms in the first place?

And did you at least get the £40 off her?

Yes, quite!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/01/2019 13:48

DP told me about 2 years ago that her MILs fridge had broken and they didn't have one.

When you say your DP's MIL, do you mean your own DM - or is your DP still married to (but presumably separated from) somebody else?

Regardless of how you're related to her, she's well cheeky and I'd go with not letting on that you know she's sold it and ask for it back. If/when she admits what she did, call her out on it and the money she got will obviously be yours for her to pass on to you.

Having said that, though, as per PPs, don't let this consume you when you have other far more important things to be concerned about just now.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/01/2019 13:52

Is having a fridge of any sort in your living room a thing now?

Where else can you put it? Beds are big things, so it's not like there'll be room for it next to the king-size in the kitchen

Poloshot · 31/01/2019 13:53

Not her's to sell. As an absolute minimum she owes you £40

WhatchaMaCalllit · 31/01/2019 13:54

I'd hazard a guess that the fridge in question is like this one:
www.argos.co.uk/product/7927746 or maybe this one:
www.argos.co.uk/product/8629713
so you would be able to keep cans or a bottle or two or more of wine in it and not have to get up to the main fridge to get a drink, if the fridge is also acting as a table in the living room.

It was probably this one - www.amazon.co.uk/Husky-HUS-HY205-HU-Guinness-Drinks-Cooler/dp/B00KHTI98O?tag=mumsnetforum-21 - even if it wasn't new, she should have gotten a lot more for it! You were screwed every which way @Reallyevilmuffin so you were!

Butterfly84 · 31/01/2019 13:55

When you 'lend' someone something like this, you have to be prepared to never get it back. I've had this happen to me before.

I get why you're annoyed, but did she not just think you'd given it to her because you didn't want it?

TheOxymoron · 31/01/2019 14:07

Sorry, this isn’t quite the point of your post but just be aware that many glass fronted ones are actually chillers rather than a fridge. They don’t work the same.

diddl · 31/01/2019 14:10

"When you 'lend' someone something like this, you have to be prepared to never get it back. "

Only if you are unfortunate enough to lend to a CF, surely?

Most people will borrow for the shortest possible time & return item asap along with a thank you present, won't they?

Touchmybum · 31/01/2019 14:13

I think she did you a favour!!!!! A Guinness fridge in your living room??

Touchmybum · 31/01/2019 14:13

Plus you haven't missed it for 2 YEARS.

floribunda18 · 31/01/2019 14:16

I have to say I first interpreted the title as Lent items, and thought you were very prepared in making batches of lots of meat-free meals, perhaps, and your MIL had taken them.

She sounds like a proper CF anyway, YANBU.

viques · 31/01/2019 14:21

ok she shouldnt have sold a lent item, but I have just googled Guinness glass fronted bar fridge, and I'm sorry to be judgey OP but you are sooooo being unreasonable to want such a fecking ugly thing back in your life, especially in your sitting room . I mean the fridge, not the MIL of course.

Fairenuff · 31/01/2019 14:31

When you say keep it as long as you need it, you are effectively giving it away.

thecatsthecats · 31/01/2019 14:35

When you 'lend' someone something like this, you have to be prepared to never get it back.

Only if you are unfortunate enough to lend to a CF, surely?

Most people will borrow for the shortest possible time & return item asap along with a thank you present, won't they?

Where's the 'Only on Mumsnet' thread when you need it?

Romanov · 31/01/2019 14:36

it doesnt matter what it was or what the op did with it or where she kept it - the fact is she lent it to someone who sold it....

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