To think that being a woman is why I was treated differently when I was unwell

[HappyShark]

NC as outing.
So I’ve been really poorly the past couple of months and it turns out I had gallstone pancreatitis; I’m actually still in hospital now after some complications with my surgery to remove the offending organ.

Anyway, I was so unwell with it... initially it was the gallstone pain which was bad enough, but then things really escalated, and for four days I was unable to eat or drink, being sick about every 40 minutes (to the point I was only bringing up stomach acid and lining).

During these four days I saw the emergency GP twice (first time given anti-emetics and told to come back if it was getting worse, second time told to take omeprazole for gastritis) and a paramedic visit (did basic obs, didn’t check eyes for jaundice, told me it wasn’t worth taking me to A&E as it would be pointless as they wouldn’t do anything), my dad eventually took me to A&E a couple of days later when I felt so bad I thought I would die, I was literally banging my head against the wall. I was still being sick constantly.

Even then, they initially checked my notes and made noises about gastritis.

Several hours later I was on a ward with a diagnosis of multiple gallstones and acute pancreatitis.

I’ve just found out a male friend of mine rang an ambulance last night with pains, and is now admitted to a ward with suspected gallstones and pancreatitis.

Am I unreasonable to suspect that one reason he was taken seriously and admitted straight away is because he’s a man?

Yes you are extremely unreasonable to think that.

YANBU. Studies have shown this to be the case. The idea that men are stronger and less 'pussy'ish subconsciously means we tend to believe that a man actually showing that he feels pain must be really suffering, whereas women might just be being a wimp or exaggerating for drama's sake.

Sorry this happened to you but I think YABU. Hope you feel better soon.

Yes YABU.

You’ve been treated by completely different doctors/paramedics. They may have different thought processes and approaches to the symptoms you presented with.

The plural of anecdote isn’t data.

More likely he just got a more receptive paramedic, and the emergency GP you saw wasn't clued up / bothered. It really is a lottery as to who you see.

Studies have shown repeatedly that our medical system has an inherent bias against women. Women presenting with pain are more frequently given sedatives than painkillers, where men are given painkillers. Women with coronary heart disease have delayed treatment compared with men. And people even rate the perceived pain of a paediatric patient differently, depending on whether they are told the patient is male or female.

From this article: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jan/23/medical-advice-pill-pope-bleeds-women

I don't think you necessarily are BU. It's a sad fact that women suffering pain in that general area are quite often not taken seriously or it's put down to generic 'reproductive' stuff. There's a really good article somewhere that a chap wrote about his wife's experience when she suffered a twisted ovary IIRC, and how her pain and symptoms were dismissed in a way that he didn't think a man's would be: www.today.com/health/anne-wheaton-er-doctors-misdiagnosed-my-twisted-ovary-t113173

I had two attacks of acute pancreatitis and was fobbed off with 'period pains', even though I wasn't due..

I do think women can be treated differently with anything remotely abdominal.

Sorry you are going through it but hopefully you'll be out and better soon!

YANBU. There is plenty of info out there about how women often are left untreated in comparison to men for the same condition. Took consultants three years to diagnose me with a slipped disc. Was told it was "women's pains". Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Sorry, this is his perspective: wilwheaton.net/2017/06/eighteen-hours/

YANBU

www.bbc.com/future/story/20180518-the-inequality-in-how-women-are-treated-for-pain

When they’re in pain, women wait longer in emergency departments and are less likely to be given effective painkillers than men.

Obviously I’m pleased for him that they’ve brought him straight in so he won’t have to go through what I did.

I just found nearly every medical professional I saw to be so dismissive, I guess it could be “luck of the draw” but I was pretty sure I’d read a thread on here about women’s experiences of health care that made me wonder.

Studies have shown that women's pain is treated less seriously than men's pain. It's horrible but true and I don't think it makes much difference if your Health Practitioner is male or female.

Google "women pain ignored" and it will link you to some studies.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

I hope you're feeling better soon, @HappyShark but sorry you had to go through so much pain and distress to be treated. There was a thread running on here recently asking for women's experiences with being dismissed re: health care: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3402449-Aibu-to-ask-you-to-tell-me-your-experiences-of-being-dismissed-by-medics-as-a-sick-woman-I-promise-to-listen

YANBU women get blown off more by doctors, there have been quite a few studies on it.

Thank you @Celebelly. That article by Wil Wheaton was interesting. My husband could have written the first part of it (albeit not quite as articulately!). I honestly would’ve welcomed death by the time I finally got admitted. I was so unwell.

My husband was admitted with suspected appendicitis and had his appendix removed on the basis of him reporting abdominal pain. The doctor who dealt with him freely admitted that if i (female) was the one with the pain they would have sent me home. 'Too much going on down there in women to narrow it down' apparently

YADNBU

Try being fat as well as being a woman and you're doubly ignored. Everything is blamed on weight. I lost 8 stone and my treatment improved marginally but my issues were then blamed on weight loss.

You can't win.

Also yes, that’s the thread I remembered x

@Impicciona that’s an interesting thought. I’m 5 stone overweight so I wonder if that had an impact.

@Piffy wow, what a thing to openly say... so rather than bother to investigate, they’d just send a woman home in pain?!

Yanbu

For the reasons ststed by others who have also said yanbu

I hope you are feeling better

Tolstoyina

The plural of anecdote isn’t data.

But when lots of people report having the same experience, it behoves anyone sensible to think they can't all be lying.

I have no doubt there’s truth to what you say OP. It depends on your GP.

I know this is a bit “whataboutery” but GPs don’t always take men so seriously either. my BIL had acute stomach pain for a week, plus vomiting. GP kept sending him home, not To worry, just a bug. he tried to carry on working (bus driver) but eventually called an ambulance and he had peritonitis and nearly died etc.

Hope you feel better soon OP

The plural of anecdote isn’t data.

No, but there is plenty of actual data out there on this if you look it up.

Yanbu at all. I had a similar situation last year - taken to hospital vomiting blood and barely conscious. I was sent home having just had my bp and temperature taken with a packet of AB’s. Two months later my dad was sent to hospital with almost identical symptoms - he was immediately admitted and had full bloods, MRI, IV AB’s, two days on the ward while they tried to find out what was wrong. We got the same diagnosis, except I had to return to hospital the next day unable to say my name or walk before I got any of the same treatment.