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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nanny constantly on phone

75 replies

cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 14:31

Went to a baby group this morning lots going on, loads of parents and nannies. Most people were interacting w the kids, chatting with each other etc.
I noticed one nanny sitting at the side on her phone and not looking up. She never spoke to the kids apart from
When they cried and was engrossed by the phone. Of course it's ok to look at your phone in these situations (and I did as waiting for an important email). But this was excessive and I know it's none of my business but it really bothered me. I'd be furious if I was paying someone and they had such a lack of interest in the kids they were meant to be caring for.
Another group I go to has a no mobile policy which is a bit excessive but maybe needed in situations such as this?

OP posts:
Mmmhmmm · 30/01/2019 14:39

Geez people are in a busy body mood today on MN.

She could have been talking to her employer or looking at something from or for them or related to the kids. This could have been a one off or maybe she was having a bad day.

Mind your own business.

BiscuitDrama · 30/01/2019 14:41

I don’t think chatting to others is any better than being on your phone, so you can discount that time I think.

Chamomileteaplease · 30/01/2019 14:43

YANBU there is a lot of difference between being on your phone but regularly looking up and interacting and not looking up at all, as you are describing.

She sounds awful and like you I would be very annoyed if this was my nanny.

Auntiepatricia · 30/01/2019 14:43

We’re the kids safe and well and their needs at that time being looked after? Was she responding when they cried or needed her? Give her a break. Maybe she does 12 hr days with the kids and baby groups are the one place they leave her in peace and enjoy themselves without her micro managing for an hour. Certainly as a mum I’d be tempted to get a coffee and hide in a corner with my phone for an hour if I was having a tough day and needed a brain break.

RomanyRoots · 30/01/2019 14:43

Do you know this is common for childcare workers.
I used to see the same when I'd take my kids to soft play. The parents would interact but the childminders would sit and chat or play on phones. As long as the kids aren't in danger I don't see the problem.

Original poster
cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 14:54

@Mmmhmmm yeah fine if she was talking to employer, friend or whatever but she was tapping away for two hours.
Yes the kids were safe because there were lots of adults around, it looked like she couldn't have cared less.

OP posts:
Anerak · 30/01/2019 14:57

Tell her employer, they should know. To me it's unacceptable

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/01/2019 14:58

How do you know she was a Nanny not a Mum?

Notmorewashing · 30/01/2019 14:59

All the childminders and nanny’s do this at our local groups too. I don’t find it acceptable they are not old enough often to just not be watched

Original poster
cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 15:00

@sweeneytoddsrazor because I followed her in when paying and she said I'm XX's and XX's nanny

OP posts:
ShalomJackie · 30/01/2019 15:05

However you did also say she paid no attention except when they were crying so to some extent she must have been keeping an eye on them to know this.

Original poster
cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 15:08

@ShalomJackie you'd hope at the bare minimum she'd do this though?

OP posts:
KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree · 30/01/2019 15:08

Of course it's ok to look at your phone in these situations (and I did as waiting for an important email). How do you know her email/text message/whatever wasn't important? How do you know that she's a nanny and would you be less judgemental feel any different if she was a mum? How do you know she wasn't having a bad day or just using that time to have a bit of a break whilst the child/children was/were playing and engaged? If she is a nanny, and the child/children she looks after are no longer taking naps, when else does she get a break? Why is talking on her phone worse than talking in person to another parent? In short, I think yabu and judgemental. You don't know anything about her apart from the small snapshot you've seen this morning.

EssentialHummus · 30/01/2019 15:10

If it’s a one off - leave it. If you notice it happening again and you know the parent/s, I’d think about saying something.

I always give people a bit of slack for bad days/bad news/difficult mornings etc but at our local playgroup there is one mum who does this and it is very clear that it’s not a one-off. I’ve handed her her crying toddler daughter before with “You need to watch your child more closely”.

hoki · 30/01/2019 15:12

I see this all the time in playgrounds and softplays. I think it's so shit. They're at work and the kid is their job. The lack of enthusiasm and any sort of effort to be nice to the kids is the worst.

Original poster
cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 15:13

@KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree yup I am being judgey as I don't think I've seen anyone at a baby group show such little interest in their kids in the 4+ years I've been going to them. As I said of course it's fine to use your phone at these things but it was for the whole session. Maybe she was having a shit day but doesn't mean she should do that for two hours. If she was in an office I'm sure someone would have a word. Why should it be acceptable in childcare?

OP posts:
storm11111 · 30/01/2019 15:16

Why is this your problem?

Were the kids in danger? No.
Was this your nanny? no
Were these your children? no
Do you know anything about this nanny beyond this small snapshot? No

Just concentrate on your own life.

Original poster
cranberrymoon · 30/01/2019 15:19

@storm11111 so we should all just ignore this sort of thing? If I had known the kids of course I'd tell the parents about the lack of interest the nanny had in the kids. And no doubt they'd be glad to hear the feedback. I'd certainly want to be told.

OP posts:
themoomoo · 30/01/2019 15:22

I'm a childminder and I use playgroups as my time to sit and have a coffee while they play.
They know where I am if they need me
They're in sight / earshot so I know if I need to go to them
They have other children to play with; they don';t need me interacting constantly with them
It's my one chance of a sit down in my 12 hour day

themoomoo · 30/01/2019 15:25

I see this all the time in playgrounds and softplays. I think it's so shit
I always think it very odd when grown ups are crawling through soft play folllowing their perfectly capable children round .
What do they think will happen to them if they're sat 10 foot away rather than clambering around with them?

Dvg · 30/01/2019 15:27

Yeah sorry but if i was a Nanny i would be using the baby groups as a break as well :S i do as a mummy so why not as a nanny, as long as the kids are cared for and she is there for when they need them then i dont see an issue

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 30/01/2019 15:27

Don't you take children to children's groups so that they can play with other children?

As long as she was keeping an eye and it sounds like she was, I wouldn't be concerned.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/01/2019 15:28

If I had known the kids of course I'd tell the parents about the lack of interest the nanny had in the kids.

So if she had been the mother would you have reprimanded her for her lack of interest in the kids?

Mayrhofen · 30/01/2019 15:33

I see this all the time in playgrounds and softplays. I think it's so shit

I don't think it is necessary to helicopter the children in this situation, let them engage with other children.

Anyway, what's the difference between looking at your phone and chatting with other parents/carers?

This may count as nanny's breaktime for all you know.

NannyRed · 30/01/2019 15:33

Sat in a pub that serves food on Monday (quiz night) dad on his phone for the entire time he was there, completely oblivious to his dd (4y/o?)

Mum comes in, little girl squeals “mummy”, mum sits down, picks up the drink dad has already for her and also gets her phone out.

I could have wept, my dh and I both agreed the poor child has no chance in life. 100% ignored by her own parents for the entire visit. But it wasn’t my place to say anything.

I dread to think what the next generation are going to grow up like.

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