Nanny constantly on phone

[cranberrymoon]

Went to a baby group this morning lots going on, loads of parents and nannies. Most people were interacting w the kids, chatting with each other etc.
I noticed one nanny sitting at the side on her phone and not looking up. She never spoke to the kids apart from
When they cried and was engrossed by the phone. Of course it's ok to look at your phone in these situations (and I did as waiting for an important email). But this was excessive and I know it's none of my business but it really bothered me. I'd be furious if I was paying someone and they had such a lack of interest in the kids they were meant to be caring for.
Another group I go to has a no mobile policy which is a bit excessive but maybe needed in situations such as this?

🙄

How did you manage to watch your own kids when you had the nanny under surveillance?

People being addicted to phones is one thing, but what's so awful about kids playing by themselves while an adult sits close by supervising? Independent play is good for children developing their imagination, so long as that isn't all they get.

I think the example of the little kid out for dinner being ignored by her parents is much worse personally.

OP, this is normal. So many times on here we hear let the professionals take care of the kids.
They aren't professionals just minding kids, they don't care like a parent would, as long as they are safe that's what parents pay for.

@RomanyRoots seems I need to downgrade how I'd expect a childcare professional to interact with children sadly. Every day round where I live I see lots of really good nannies etc really interacting w kids and yes letting them play alone too but not glued to the phone. This person just stood out.

She wasn't under my surveillance at all but my child was obsessed with a toy near her so we kept going back to where she was. My child is just walking so does need pretty much constant attention. Of course older children don't need a helicopter parent/carer.

@KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree no the kids weren't running riot but I doubt she would have noticed if they had been either.

I'd hope that anyone who looks after my kids would try to make sure they don't hurt themselves and cry rather than just tending to them when they do!

YABU, for all you know it might be the only time of the day when she could actually have a break and considering you said she did notice when the child started crying and attended to him/her, it leaves me to think she wasn't as engrossed by her phone as you suggest she was.

As someone who has nannied full-time, you might have seen me with my phone while out and about with the kids every once in a while (though not always) and probably would have judged me for it but the truth of matter was that I was also the one who would be up at 6am to look after the baby/kids while the parents slept in until 11am or 12pm everyday, and then spent the entire day with them until it was time for them to go to bed, I was also the one who would stay with them for up to a week while parents went away on holidays without them, leaving me to care for their little one 24/7 with zero break and the one who had to fit in cooking, cleaning and doing their laundry during nap time (my only breaks) because doing it when they were awake would mean not being able to pay full-attention to them, so yes sometimes I did use my phone when out and about when the kids were busy playing with other kids in an enclosed environment and didn't need hand-on care, I would still see them and intervene but no I would NOT follow them around if I didn't need to and shock-horror but lots of the parents I did work for who may have spent a grand total of 2 hours with their kids during the day still managed to check their phone during that time frame or even just hand it over to their kids to entertain them (instead of entertaining them themselves). Would you call SS on them? (Or you judgement is reserved for nannies only?)

So judge away, but reporting a nanny who responded to a kid's need when needed because she was texting when you have no clue what her day looks like is in my opinion ridiculous.

I personally don't understand parents who have higher standards of care for their kids by a childcarer than they have for themselves as the parents anyway (you admittedly checked your phone yourself yet would be horrified if your nanny did?).

Unless you actually fear for the kids welfare I think you would be incredibly unreasonable to report.

And I used to be a teacher, where I had DEDICATED break hours where I could check my phone, nannies don't have that and apparently shouldn't ever check their phone while working without being reported, never mind that they have a family of their own and might have things that need attending (without it compromising the safety of the kids).

@Linning no I have no issue with a nanny checking their phone and I said so. It was the being glued to the phone I thought OTT. No reporting of her.

If the role of nanny is so tough why do people do it? Several nannies I know of where I live get good salaries (£28k+) and benefits (travel, gym, bonuses, en suite rooms if they live in) the least they can do is their job.

IME glued to phone is a sign of distress if you see it in an otherwise responsible adult. I've used my phone as a distraction when grieving, as a way of keeping it together and not weeping everywhere. I've googled breast cancer treatment when friends were diagnosed.

She did do her bloody job. The kids were at baby group to play and entertain themselves and interact with other children, to socialise. She attended to them when they needed her.
Also your child does not need CONSTANT attention because they have just started walking.

Just be glad you don't have a nanny then

@Drogosnextwife actuallly he does at the moment thanks for your advice.

No doubt next week I'll be able to leave him to roam while I play on my phone and only speak to him when he cries as apparently this is acceptable....

OP, I would agree with you that the nanny was being negligent if she never ever looked up to check on the kids and didn't move when they showed distress, signs of being hurt, you don't say how old the kids were but I would assume they aren't super young, plenty of parents let their kids play in another room while they do other things, being on your phone while a step away from the kids is barely being negligent. You are also assuming she is not doing her job because you saw a glimpse of her day, she made sure they were at a playground getting some socialisation and letting off steam while she had a break, if she had stayed home and left them on the TV so she could text you would have no idea. The kids didn't seem to crave for her attention and seemed perfectly happy playing on their own/with others so I don't see why you are so bothered by the whole thing? She wasn't ignoring them, they weren't asking for her.

Negligent nannies/parents are the one I see at parks, not looking at their kids while they almost fall of the top of the slides, walk behind swings or are acting like feral kids around the playground being terrible to everybody else because they are too engrossed in their phone/conversation to pay attention and telling their kids " Not now honey!" When the kid begs for their attention. I have seen plenty of those and none seem like the nanny you are describing.

It sounds like your own kid is very young and you are used to following him everywhere, which might blure your judgement, give it a few years and you too will be sitting hoping for a break from having to fake to be excited at how high your little one can jump on the trampoline for the 12337th time today and appreciate the fact that playgroup might be the only place where he entertains himself without you and you finally get a chance to breathe and do your own thing (while still being vigilant and doing the fake nodding smile every now and then at whatever they happen to be excited to show you). Nannies are humans, they need breaks and what better time than when the kids are happily playing with other children?

I agree with you op although it’s not confined to childminders. I regularly see mums pushing their child on the swings with one hand as they are on the phone with the other, not interacting with their child, no eye contact or chatting or laughing. I don’t mean the odd text or call I mean the whole time they are in the park.

It is sad and obviously would not have happened before mobile technology.

OP, I see it round here all the time, nannies, au pairs and childcare workers. It's the youth of today, it's how they've been raised. I also see them smoking when out and about with kids, I don't think parents know their dc aren't really being cared for. I can remember the undercover programme a few years back that reported on the state of childcare, I've seen nothing to change my view, since.
I wouldn't use whats on offer round here, they really aren't up to much and the nurseries charge the same.

I was a nanny for years and I can absolutely confirm romanyroots experience

@Linning yup I agree my view is skewed as I have a little one but I do have a 4 year old too and am very used to let him run around playing with other kids. But he wasn't with me today so I was in a bit more of the baby mode.

Her phone use just seemed to be out of whack with the other parents and nannies that were there as far as I could see.

I mean you can always keep an eye on her in the future but I think I would only be concerned, if, when kids require/ask for attention she actively ignores them or refuse to play with them (in this case I would actually confront her) but if kids are happily playing and not distressed and don't seem to need or want her attention/her to play with them, I would just let it be.

Excellent post linning

Thanks @Linning I agree

I agree. Mind your own business. And children.

The whole reason I took my kids to playgroups and softplays when they were smaller was so that as a mother, a single one at that, I could actually take comfort knowing my kids were safe and I could detach a bit. I also took my uni work. I doubt it was that obvious that I was peering to check on them regularly. Wonder what filthy judgement was made of me.

Exactly busy.
Maybe the nanny is pretending to be engrossed in her phone so she doesn’t need to interact with the judgemental crew

@themoomoo that's not what I meant. But pushing a two year old on a swing in total silence with zero joy or conversation is shit (an example). Taking them to a baby/toddler group and not watching to make sure they're getting a fair go at toys or not hitting other kids or enjoying it etc is part of the job. Seeing a nanny on her phone for 90 minutes at softplay while a little kid is alone and bewildered and maybe needs encouragement to go down the slide or a boost into the ball pit isn't good enough.