Nanny constantly on phone

[cranberrymoon]

Went to a baby group this morning lots going on, loads of parents and nannies. Most people were interacting w the kids, chatting with each other etc.
I noticed one nanny sitting at the side on her phone and not looking up. She never spoke to the kids apart from
When they cried and was engrossed by the phone. Of course it's ok to look at your phone in these situations (and I did as waiting for an important email). But this was excessive and I know it's none of my business but it really bothered me. I'd be furious if I was paying someone and they had such a lack of interest in the kids they were meant to be caring for.
Another group I go to has a no mobile policy which is a bit excessive but maybe needed in situations such as this?

If I'm paying someone to look after my kids then I'd hope that's what they are doing not dicking about on their phone for two hours while the kids are awake.

Many moons ago when I was an
Au pair I used to get paid buttons, like not even £1 an hour to watch kids three long 14 hour days so yes we went to soft play and yes I made them run around so they would sleep later and not make it a 17 hour day.

What did you want her to do? Stare enraptured at the children the entire 2 hours?

I go to a couple of playgroups with DS and we all chat and use our phones and no one cares. The kids play with each other, that's the point of the playgroup.

Ignore what sort of thing?

You haven't said anything which suggests these children are in any danger nor have you any evidence that this is a persistent issue or problem.

You've just observed a small snapshot of somebody else, made assumptions and are gearing up to get involved in some shape or form which could possibly result in someone being fired.

I do not believe in accusations without just cause, for all you know she's just spent a couple of hours rolling around playing with them at home and now she's using the opportunity of the group to take a breather.

Maybe she is a totally disinterested nanny and your right about her but the fact is that you don't know either way so until you have the full picture don't judge so quickly.

Phone addiction is a terrible business, I completely agree with you op. I sat through 2 hours of my children's swimming lessons and the man next to me parked his approx 3 year old in the buggy next to him, facing away from him, and was on his phone the whole time. I'm amazed the little girl was so quiet but it seriously made me feel sad! My kids interacted with her while the other was in their lesson! I've never forgotten it.

Again makes me laugh my “ phone addiction” is me working, trying to earn
The money to pay for the bloody swimming lessons 🙄

It sounds like you saw a small snapshot of one day of this nanny's life and, on the basis of that alone, if you'd had the opportunity you would have mouthed off to her employers in the hope of getting her disciplined or sacked.

You have no idea why she was on her phone and the kids were absolutely fine.

Maybe you should have been paying attention to your own kids rather than spending the whole time staring at this nanny?

If I'm paying someone to look after my kids then I'd hope that's what they are doing not dicking about on their phone for two hours while the kids are awake
should she have been walking right behind them at all time? What if the 2 kids had gone in different directions? Jesus, that would be an impossible situation then

Good grief, the joys of MN - mind your own business!

I used to judge this kind of thing.
Then I talked to some nannies who were working 14-16 hours a day, no breaks and minimum wage. So of course they did this. It was the only actual break they got.
Also they should be keeping an eye, but no they do not need to talk to the mums. Or follow the kids round the room and helicopter them.

Her job is to make sure no harm comes to the children while the parents are not there.

No harm came to the children.

Not quite sure why this is your business? Do you tell shop managers that their staff were chatting? Or any other employer that someone doing a job is not doing the job exactly as you have deemed it should be done?

Surely the point is that the other, more responsible, mothers/carers are doing their job for them! It is unreasonable to take your eye away from your kids in order to rabbit on the phone, and rely on someone else to keep an eye on them.

What were your kids doing while you spent two hours monitoring this strangers every action OP?

It's a playgroup, not a cage fight. How much harm is going to come to those kids in that setting? Besides, they're learning to play independently rather than having an adult direct their every move.

It is unreasonable to take your eye away from your kids in order to rabbit on the phone, and rely on someone else to keep an eye on them
but the nanny wasn't doing this. OP quite clearly says she responded to them if they cried.
No wonder we have such a snowflake generation

If she was in an office I'm sure someone would have a word. Why should it be acceptable in childcare? If she were in an office she'd get regular, paid breaks, the same as if she were a nursery nurse, teaching assistant or teacher.

I don't think I've seen anyone at a baby group show such little interest in their kids when I take my dc to playgrounds or softplay or wherever, I usually just leave them to get on with it. They're older now, at 6&8, but even when they were younger I'd just sit on the sidelines with a cuppa and a magazine and just keep an eye and ear out for them. I didn't feel the need to constantly interact with them when they could be off exploring the equipment by themselves and playing with other children. I wouldn't expect a nanny or childminder to be any different tbh.

she was tapping away for two hours.

Who was looking after your kids while you were monitoring her?

There is a childminder at a group I go to who does this and I do judge her because one of the children she brings along with her is feral and well known for hitting and hurting other children. The childminder knows this and doesn’t care; she just sits on her phone and ignores the children. However, a nanny who comforts the children when they cry and is there if needed but leaves well behaved children to play in a safe area wouldn’t bother me. I frequently see parents engrossed in conversations and not watching their children the whole time either or else they are on one side of the room or in a different room with one child and unable to see the other one.

I completely agree with you, but so many women are proud of ignoring their kids in soft plays or playgroups, they won't change their way.

Letting your kids run riot is apparently an acceptable way to parent.

What were all the parents doing?

Intently watching their own kids/talking to other parents/using phone?

Letting your kids run riot is apparently an acceptable way to parent. The op didn't say the children were running riot though, did she?

Letting your kids run riot is apparently an acceptable way to parent
Letting kids run around in a soft play centre is a perfectly acceptable way of parenting
if the kids well behaved what do you think a parent should do? run around with them?

Well i have noticed people at baby groups so engrossed in conversations with other people that they completely ignore their kids so not sure it's any worse. Would you feel like this if she was reading a book, as I've also saw a lot of people doing at softplay etc.

It does sound a bit excessive but ...
Childminders and nannies usually do long days. As the kids are with them all day they don't get anything like a lunch break.
Toddler is often the one time they get some downtime.

I find the parents hovering over theor children constantly instructing them and following them around more annoying tbh. Let them be kods go and let them explore and interact with others without theor parent glued to their side the whole time. Watch from a distance and give them some independence.