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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think grandparents should have paid for their grandchildren to go to a private school?

11 replies

daffobin · 30/01/2019 09:32

No, I don't really believe that. Just thinking that if it really bothered them that much that their dgc were in state schools and knowing we couldn't afford it, perhaps they should have dipped into their pocket. Dh's husband have a boarding school where all of the boys go and a school all the girls go to. By and large this has been paid by the grandparents for my husband, and for his parents by their grandparents etc.

When DD1 got in to study dentistry, she was told " She did well considering she went to a state school", not congratulations etc.
When DD2 got into Cambridge a comment was made around the university needing to increase access and take standards of education they would not usually accept.
When DS3 didn't get into Oxford he was told that its hardly a surprise considering how awful the school is.

The school is not great, but I am the deputy head mistress there and trying my very best, it is improving.

I just think to myself, well fuck, if you really think your grandchildren are that badly off, why didn't you put your hand in your pocket and pay the £38k a year? It's not as if they cannot afford it, with a huge house, long haul holidays and selling off the third generation family business.

OP posts:
Fr3d · 30/01/2019 09:35

You lost me at dh's husband Grin They sound mean Flowers

daffobin · 30/01/2019 09:36

Good lord Grin dh's family*!

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 30/01/2019 09:44

Good grief. How do you bite your tongue? You must have the patience of a saint!

I hope you've told your kids to just ignore the nonsense that their grandparents speak...

Besides... State school kids getting into Oxford? Sounds like all of your kids are very bright and well brought up. You should be proud OP :)

Whenever my PIL say things that are really crossing the line I wait until they're out of site and then flick em the Middle fingers... Makes you feel so much better! Just don't get caught lol...

daffobin · 30/01/2019 10:09

Haha oh I wish I'd have the knack to pull that off

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 30/01/2019 10:14

They were slagging off the school where you are deputy head? LMAO at the cheeky fuckery. Just out of interest why haven’t they paid for your kids to go private if that’s what they normally do in the family?

Tinty · 30/01/2019 10:15

The school is not great, but I am the deputy head mistress there and trying my very best, it is improving.

Did all 3 of your DC go the the school that you are deputy head mistress of? If so, it is not doing too badly if you have a DD doing Dentistry and a DD going to Cambridge and your DS did well enough to apply to Oxford, (clever lad), then your school is doing well.

They sound like not very nice people, hopefully your DC even though they went to State School are very nice people.

Hillarious · 30/01/2019 10:15

All your kids have done well. Sounds like private school would have made no difference at all. There are plenty of excellent universities other than Oxbridge and your DD3 will no doubt thrive at one of them. Just be glad the GPs didn't pay for school fees.

YANBU to behave as PregnantSea suggests.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 30/01/2019 10:19

I applaud you for keeping your mouth shut, I don't think I could have.

Halloumimuffin · 30/01/2019 10:35

Ask them why they think it is OK to insult both your job and your children's intelligence, then say you are glad you didn't waste all of that money like they did when your children were obviously smart enough with what they got from your side of the family.

NannyRed · 30/01/2019 10:45

It seems your dc have done well enough without financial assistance from your in laws.
You don’t need to justify them. Success is its own reward.

DarlingNikita · 30/01/2019 10:48

They sound like horrible snobs.
Fuck em.

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