Is it normal to feel this tired ....

[highheelsandheadheldhigh]

Am I overdoing it or is it normal to feel this shattered.
Work 40/45 hours per week. Full on.
Commute 1-2 hours daily traffic dependent.
Exercise high intensity/endurance 6-7 times a week.
Currently in the throws of IVF.
Undergoing a stressful time with DSS.
I get up at 6am daily and I could cry...... god only knows how I'd cope with a child. I literally get to lunch time at work and feel completely shattered. I say dream about pulling a sickie. All I want to do when I get home is sleep, but I can't - life doesn't work that way, there is a house that needs cleaning, food to prepare - oh and spend quality time with DH! How do people cope, or I am just weak!

Hi Op! As someone who’s had IVF understand the physical and mental strain that put on my body....without everything else you described

I agree with PP who suggest easing up on the exercise, swapping to some more gentle forms for your mental health

Also I’d suggest seeing a therapist/counsellor. I’m also a bit of a control freak and struggled to express what was happening inside my own head. This gave me an opportunity to really unload and I always felt better afterwards - to me it was a form of mental exercise to get me into a better place for the IVF.

Look, if you do conceive a child you are going to have to cut down something.

Otherwise, when will you spend time with them?

In the nicest possible way, you cannot simply add a baby to all of that.

So, why not cut your hours, find another job, do less exercise or all three now?

Excess exercise can interfere with your hormonal balance and may not be helpful if you are going through ivf.

Excess stress either mental or physical is also detrimental as it increases your cortisol levels.

Lack of adequate sleep can add to the physiological stress.

None of this rocket science and neither is the solution - cut back on the exercise/ use your weekends to go to the gym/ try some holistic treatments.

I don't really understand why the dilemma?

Unfortunately changing something is the only way you can expect a different outcome. And there may be many more changes with a child in the equation. Good luck with the ivf.

I think you'd find it hard to conceive even with IVF if you don't find time to de stress. That much exercise is bordering on obsessive and I doubt the clinic told you to keep on with it.

You need to find something other than exercise to de stress, reading or meditation or yoga.

You cannot add a baby to all of this you'd never cope

Sidge has made some very good points. Also a few of the last pp's because since my last post reading, theirs I realise you getting a nanny threw me into thinking that's ok re. Career great, BUT as they pointed out you can't really carry on spending every evening working out, or you'll never have time with baby. I did say something along the lines of what Sidge said, can't rem words but I watered it down! This control thing, because I said something like, add a child to the mix and things don't always go according to plan. It's like it's all so rigid and could backfire on you. We're only trying to help OP.

That was it, that you always seem to be covering all angles.

HAVe you had a complete work up byyour GP recently? Blood work etc? I think you should get a thyroid panel done and also iron levels. Your life sounds v intense but there might be underlying causes of the fatigue. Also thyroid levels being off can make it harder to conceive...

Im sorry but I think your body fat percentage is too low. 20% is athlete level and many athletes have problems with fertility. I'd be looking to increase body fat to around 25%. You can still exercise but I'd be adding more lean protein and fats to diet

Why is being under 20% body fat important to you?

That amount of working out makes me dog tired. I'm sure it's that.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me the kick up the bum needed.
Being 20% is important for a couple of reasons, 1 I like the way I look, 2 my husband loves it, 3 it's easier to train when your light and lean. It's pure vanity. But I work hard and you can't buy that, take a pill for it. No amount of money will buy you that look, it's pure dedication and I like that. (With any lucky my days being this lean are numbered)
I'm prepping for embryo transfer, which will happen in the next 2 weeks. I have roughly booked time out of work for results etc. but can't lock away dates yet. Will know more next week. Appreciate I'll need to take time then. I guess that's why I ignored the Dr, I was about to take a long break from work when he signed me off. I just wasn't in the position to and I know I'll need time for the next IVF step.
We have therapy with our IVF, guess I've been 'saving' it for if it fails.
I will get a cleaner and talk to DH about more help. I've worked hard to get my home, I just need to understand that it's a home not a show home.
I've canceled out of the class on Saturday typically it's longer and harder than the ones I do through the week. I normally do parkrun then that. I'll knock that on the head. Plus will miss Monday session (at the dr, so can't)
There has been so much pressure on me to 'parent' DSS, that I should treat him as if he is my own from DSS's mother. This has been thrown into my face by a very spiteful woman and unhappy little boy and the rejection is tough. Stupid as it sounds, I've ordered some books on the topic as a first step.
At least I'm moving in the right direction .... I think ?!

Fabulous, well done OP and good luck with the IVF

We`re rooting for you and your journey to motherhood.

Your central nervous system will collapse on you if you're not careful. Pair it back - you have no alternative. Also try and incorporate some meditation into your day - 5 or 10 mins to start. Switch out half of your gym sessions for yoga.

Good luck glad to see your taking some steps- will be worth it!

So I failed. Really rough night with DSS, so on 4 hours broken sleep and a mild hangover I got up and did a 7am parkrun. Now in the car to do an hour long HIIT session. Tomorrow is a new day

You really have a problem if you were washing your hands 40 times a day you would know you had issues. Because it is exercise it is harder for you to see it perhaps.

OP just why?? Can't you see what you're doing to yourself? If I'd had a night like that I'd have binned parkrun, gone back to sleep for 3 hours and done some exercise later in the day.

Sounds like self sabotage op, is this what you really want? Your actions kinda say otherwise. I mean this kindly

It could be ortharexia (or however you spell it) where people have a dangerous obsession with over exercising and being skinny

6-7 days of high intensity exercise? Cut it to 2 or 3 especially as you're doing IVF

I've had a much better week this one, extremely stressful but I haven't gone running for the nearest treadmill. Still tired, but run of the mill tired. Being kinder with food too. Less restrictive, had 2 packets of crisps earlier in the week and multi-grain toast with my b'fast when I was feeling hungry.
Learning to listen to my body.
I'm not obsessed with being skinny, I'm pretty muscular just not bulky.

Name change fail .....