Is it normal to feel this tired ....

[highheelsandheadheldhigh]

Am I overdoing it or is it normal to feel this shattered.
Work 40/45 hours per week. Full on.
Commute 1-2 hours daily traffic dependent.
Exercise high intensity/endurance 6-7 times a week.
Currently in the throws of IVF.
Undergoing a stressful time with DSS.
I get up at 6am daily and I could cry...... god only knows how I'd cope with a child. I literally get to lunch time at work and feel completely shattered. I say dream about pulling a sickie. All I want to do when I get home is sleep, but I can't - life doesn't work that way, there is a house that needs cleaning, food to prepare - oh and spend quality time with DH! How do people cope, or I am just weak!

IVF buggers up your hormones. Apart from that you are over exercising. I read something years ago that has stuck with me and have just found it for you.

www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2850605/Wellbeing-Don-t-crash-burn.html

Work full time with a toddler -commute is an hour each way- I can’t exercise- it would burn me out completely on top of everything else. Shame I used to love my gym classes but life changes.
Calm down the exercise or don’t be shocked your knackered

SO get a cleaner or
Stop cleaning. Go to bed early each night. Sleep is priority

I expect the exercise is keeping you in better mental health. Keep he excersise as it’s good for endorphins and a stress buster. Sod the housework

I'd personally suspect that it's the exercise (unless your job is really stressful). That's a relatively average number of hours for a work week. I regularly do 55 and used to do 60 with a two hour commute (although admittedly was a push).

Nurses, drivers, etc, do 12 hour shifts on a weekly basis and night workers must struggle to sleep properly. I'd honestly say you're overtraining and messing with your CNS/adrenal fatigue etc in all probability. 3-4 sessions of weights and HIIT is more than enough for most non-professional athletes.

Just get a cleaner.
You would be crazy not to.

It’s only an hour a day excersise. It’s fine

I would say it's perfectly normal to be exhausted when you are doing as much as you do!

However it's not normal to be that exhausted in general, something's got to give. You don't have to give up the exercise but I would cut back, unless you can cut back on work in some way. If your not willing to compromise on anything then you won't get less exhausted, it will only get worse.

Also I've always read that you need 2 rest days a week to recharge your body when doing excerise because otherwise your body doesn't have time to repair itself and you risk doing more harm than good. Try doing 2 days on, one day off. Or have the weekend off exercise. Your body is having no time to rest ever.

Are you mainly doing cardio, OP?

I couldn't imagine doing weights every day. A session of heavy barbell squats leaves me really depleted the next day even without training.

You sound very... Fraught.

Something needs to give, and it shouldn't be you.

What's your diet like?

Diet is good, I was eating too little pre Christmas and recognise that. It's probably a bit light on carbs and I'm generally a little bit hungry but not starving. Normal day looks a little like this .... yoghurt/fruit - banana - chicken salad with some type of beans, maybe a little cheese - steak and veg. Sometimes protein ball as a snack or fruit, sometimes a bit of chocolate if I'm falling asleep on the sofa at night. Water, squash, tea. Wine, gin on weekends.
It's cardio, 3 days, 2 days weights, 1 days is 2 session, 1 pure cardio, 1 mixed.
Would love to work from home but it's not an option and I don't want to move firms. I probably need to be kinder to myself. I try to get an early but then DH sees it as an 'early night' and an opportunity to have a long session. I struggle to say no to him as I don't want him to think DTD is only for TTC as I know he's finding the whole process stressful too.

Train your mind to think of this as pre pregnancy/pre baby prep. You sound addicted to exercise which will have to slow down once pregnant and fall alway after birth. Unless you are planning on a full time nanny? Or cut back a bit at work and find some more relaxing activities. If you really want to have a family something has to give

How long are your HI exercise sessions?
What is going on with your DSS?

I'm an exercise freak so could believe the exercise is actually giving you more energy rather than less, depends on time. Most people don't have so much on their plate (long hours + demanding job + IVF + family stress) so don't get so tired, no.

Against the grain but exercise is the very very last thing I'd give up out of any schedule. It's necessary for both physical and mental health and frankly yoga doesn't cut it. I'd get the cleaner and stop thinking about the cost, and also relax about occasionally ordering in food. Maybe a book to listen to during the commute? Don't give up your exercise OP!

you ain't going to get pregnant with all that stress, you are going to make your child more susceptible to stress if you do get pregnant.

something has to give. wither dh does more housework or you do less exercise, preferably both.

you are ignoring the warning signs your body is sendingyou. if you keep ignoring them, you may spend a long time out recovering.

To fit all this can only mean you are sleeping much less than the 7-8 hours you are supposed to. You also probably don't get good quality sleep if you exercise after work with the adrenalin and endorphins still kicking in.

I would swap the high intensity exercise for less intense exercise so swap for things to yoga/swimming. My dh has a week just like yours and I literally have to force him to wfh just so he won’t go to the gym. Whenever he takes a break from the gym ie a week at home working he is a much happier individual. He likes to think his job and exercise routine = success. Perhaps you feel this way? It doesn’t btw It can = burnout.

Exercise is fine but you must listen to your body. Go back to the doctors and say what you’ve written in your OP and then see what they say to the exercise.

Also don’t forget that should a baby come into this lifestyle I’ll be surprised if you keep up with this. I worked in a male dominated office with long hours. This continued after I had a dc and I had to leave. Not chose to leave I had to. Add to your lifestyle no sleep and crying baby. It would be daft not to make a few changes now especially as you already seem stressed.

You sound like a perfectionist and one who is very slow to take any advice. I mean that kindly. You are exhausted. You said it, not us. Yet you are completely refusing to accept any advice. You cannot keep this up. You cannot have everything: perfect body, perfect job, perfect house perfect diet etc.

Just STOP!!! Exercise 4 days a week and see the rest as part of that programme. Your body needs it. You are crying out for rest. Your body is extremely important to you if you want to have a baby.
LISTEN TO IT.
Get a cleaner for the moment. It doesn't have to be forever ( it will be!!,) If you keep doing what you always do you will keep getting what you are getting....ie exhausted.
Listen to people here who perhaps are older, wiser, more experienced than you and cut down for a while on exercise, get a cleaner, put dh in charge of laundry, when the drama starts with dss let it over your head, and RELAX.
Put boldly you will find it difficult to get pregnant with that regime.
STOP IT NOW.
lf you were my dd thats what l would say..and more.

I’d swap 2-3 days of exercise with yoga or tai chi.

I get the love of the exercise but would have two separate rest days per week. Definitely get a cleaner, wouldn't give that a second thought tbh. I'd be dead living your life but then I'm a wimp!

See I understand not wanting to change adrenaline type exercise for yoga but I would cut one day from it.

It's so hard, been TTC for over 3 years, I'm done putting my life on hold 'for the what if's' I stayed in a demoralising job working for an abusive psychopath for years because I was planning a wedding, building a home and needed a steady income. I love my job now but I'm well and truly in the 'boys club' and part of that comes with being very fit. I fear I'll miss a degree of networking heading off to yoga. Also I'm under 20% body fat and I can't possibly maintain that, doing less. I've asked so many times if lifestyle is a factor and the medics say no. I'm not underweight, due to muscle mass, just lean.
I'm done arguing with DH over the 'mental load' no amount of sending him articles or asking him to contribute will change him. He's not useless by any standard, but does what he wants and likes to do. But I will get a cleaner.
I try to let outer stress go over my head from DSS, but easier said than done when I see it breaking DH's heart.
I feel like training is the only thing that keeps me sane and the thought of stopping is horrifying.
Yes I know I'll need to stop if I'm lucky enough to get my BFP, but I can't use that as a certainty. If I prepared my life for a baby, my life could effectively be on hold for years. Then if it doesn't happen, what am a left with?

Extremely wise advice from junebirthday. Forget 'what am I left with?' hypothetical stresses. You have more than enough existing stresses to occupy your time. Swapping some of the HI for more mindful exercise would help you with that too - get you reframing your thinking you can deal better with whatever happens. You need to listen to your body and june and make some changes before you have no choice.

If the thought of stopping (which no one is suggesting, only easing off a bit) is horrifying, and you feel you can't possibly be more than 20% body fat then the regime isn't keeping you sane. These are not balanced patterns of thought and forcing yourself to keep up is more of the problem than the actual exercise. You're so immersed in the competitive/keeping up culture that you can't even see there's any alternative, and even letting yourself do yoga loses a chance to network. This may be normal in your immediate circle, but there is much more to life and you either have to take a breath now or wait for burn out to hit and then you simply won't be able to keep up.