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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cry over a haircut 😭

103 replies

ISaidDemiMoore · 29/01/2019 19:01

I went in for a bob type hair cut and came out with the back and one of the sides completely cut short short. My hairdresser is usually so so good and I honestly don’t know what must have come over her. I showed her pictures of exactly what I wanted and I had plenty of hair to work with. Now, every time I look in the mirror or touch my hair I want to cry. It didn’t look so bad at the time or maybe I was just in shock so I made all of the right noises and comments when it was finished. She even asked me if she’d cut it too short and I was like, noooooo it’s fine. Why did I say that? I even went back the next morning because my fringe wasn’t quite sitting right and I asked her to trim a bit off and I STILL didn’t say anything. In fact I was telling her the opposite and how easy life will be with this new hair cut. Seriously what is wrong with me, maybe I was still in denial and trying to convince myself. Problem is, she is a lovely lady. She’s probably in her late 40’s or early 50’s and has a daughter about my age, always asks after my kids, remembers their names and what they like and she is just generally so friendly. So I feel like I can’t say anything. Would saying anything or emailing the salon actually be worth it, aside from just making her feel shit? But then I think, I feel so shit, I’m left with this hair I hate and she has no idea. It looks ok from the front but awful from the back. I wouldn’t have minded this much but in a couple of weeks I’m having a reunion with some old friends and I wanted to look good and feel confident.

What should I do? Is it worth contacting the salon or do I just try and get over it. Especially as I’d already said it was fine 🙄

OP posts:
SingaSong12 · 29/01/2019 21:13

OP - In general I try to remember that people I get to do work are friendly but not friends. For that period they are someone providing a service. In that sense it is not relevant that she would get upset that you don’t like the cut. It’s also not so relevant that she is friendly- it makes going a hairdresser nicer but if she didn’t do the main job properly does it matter?

On this occasion I’m not sure I’d go back because you already went the day after and didn’t complain and it isn’t something that changed (like colour fading).

HaveYouNamechangedForThis · 29/01/2019 21:20

I totally feel your pain, and I wouldn't like being given short-short hair after wanting a fairly uncomplicated lovely bob like your pic.. but can I just say that the first thing I thought when I saw the second pic was a) Audrey Hepburn (in a wow amazing kind of way) and b) is it a model or is it you? (Is it a file pic or is it you??)

I know it's not what you wanted but as a consolation, that hair looks lovely too, and (if it's you in the pic) it will grow out faster than you think, as you have thick hair, and it always looks longer more quickly than fine hair.

WhiteDust · 29/01/2019 21:25

Having been to MANY hairdressers in my time, I've only met a handful who can cut hair well. The ones that aren't great, without exception, are under the illusion that they're absolutely amazing. The industry should be regulated and it isn't.

HaveYouNamechangedForThis · 29/01/2019 21:35

Ah just seen it's a file pic. Even so, it's still a good style (not what you wanted though I know). Flowers

What do you want out of it? Money back? I guess you won't go back there again, even if she's sorry etc as (well for me at least) I could never trust a hairdresser again who's not done my hair nicely. I've not been back to my hairdresser of 5 years even though she was/is lovely as I realised she was utterly destroying my hair with bleach highlights, bits have broken off everywhere etc.

The final straw was last time I asked for lowlights (like a light brown) so just a few shades up from my mid-light brown hair as my hair was literally at breaking point. What did she do? She bleached my highlight sections white (OMG) and then put on the brown colour over the top afterwards. Two processes on fragile hair, one involving high-lift bleach. Why didn't she just put the light brown lowlights straight in? Or advise me to leave it/tone the whole lot/whatever instead of bleach? I don't know if she forgot and just mixed up my normal colour (bleach for highlights) first or what but I can't trust her again. Needless to say I had major breakage and much as I like her I've not been back.

You've not much to lose by ringing the salon and explaining that it is so short you aren't confortable, and though you came back in for correction, because of your long standing relationship you couldn't find the words at the time of original haircut or at the adjustment to explain how far it is from what it should be and that you're heartbroken about it. At the least you should be offered a refund.

Wide0penSpace · 29/01/2019 21:45

ISaidDemiMoore I'm just wondering if your username suggests you actually asked your hairdresser for a cut like Demi Moore's? Because the second picture is like her haircut from her heyday.

TooManyPaws · 29/01/2019 21:51

My last trim, I actually got a hairdresser that listened! I hadn't been for two years since mine was chopped from waist to boob length under the guise of a trim. At least I walked out with just a trim and evening of length this time - I think the only time in my life.

I use my mum's old hairdressing scissors (yes, pp, a straight even cut is bog standard according to mum who trained before "all these fancy cuts") to trim off the split ends and trim my fringe, and her thinning scissors to layer the fringe.

I just don't trust hairdressers.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 29/01/2019 22:29

I also think the second picture is stunning - I know that doesn't help if it isn't what you asked for.

As for the British thing - I was laughing with the trainee who cut my hair recently about this - saying that even if she made a mess of it I would smile and say how lovely it was!

I think hairdressers know this happens. Does your stylist have a manager? Because if so, I think I'd send the manager a message and explain what happened - with the picture of what you asked for and a real picture of your cut - and the fact that you think the hairdresser is lovely and didn't want to say anything to cause bad feeling at the time.

SpiritedLondon · 29/01/2019 22:37

ISaidDemiMoore I'm just wondering if your username suggests you actually asked your hairdresser for a cut like Demi Moore's? Because the second picture is like her haircut from her heyday

It’s a reference to Friends.... Monica asks for Demi Moore but Phoebe gives her Dudley Moore! Smile

Wide0penSpace · 29/01/2019 22:50

SpiritedLondon oh I remember that now! So funny.

Ignore me then OP. I also had a terrible haircut once that made me cry and I also smiled and thanked the hairdresser for it! I know it doesn't help but it will grow.

Original poster
ISaidDemiMoore · 29/01/2019 22:59

Hahaha yes it’s a friends reference, me trying to make light of the situation. I’m feeling a bit better now after reading everyone’s lovely words of encouragement that it will indeed grow. It is just hair I suppose, it’s funny how much importance we place on it isn’t it?

I’m currently torn between just leaving it alone and letting it grow or going to a different hairdresser to make the back look nice. The pic I posted is the length of the back of my hair now but it doesn’t look anywhere near that nice. It’s like all short with a long layer that just kind of sits there on top 🙄

To cry over a haircut 😭
OP posts:
Huggingslothsallday · 29/01/2019 23:10

OP can you get your dh to take a picture of the back of your hair? Maybe one of the hairdressers on here can suggest something?

TheNoodlesIncident · 30/01/2019 09:42

OP what do you think you will want to do next time you need a trim? Is that salon ruined for you forever? I'm thinking you should actually go back, with your photos, and ask to speak to manager person. Then point out that the photo you supplied to show what you wanted was very different from the cut you were given. It's not as though you got the right shape of cut, but too much taken off - the result sounds nothing like a bob of any length and that's just not acceptable. It's like going into a furniture showroom for a sofa and they force a dining chair on you. You have the right to complain because your cut deviates so far from your request.

I have a good relationship with my hairdresser, our dc are in the same year at the same school and it's nice to have the common ground to talk about, but if she started taking off more than I had asked for I would probably say something as you can't put it back once it's off.

Have lots of sympathy for you though, I had a stylist make a horrible mess of my hair on the morning of DSis's wedding. I was so stressed!

Kaylsbirks · 30/01/2019 11:23

Believe me they do 🙈

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 30/01/2019 11:31

Mm was debating going for a big chop. Think will retreat...
Long bra length hair and want a change.
Not that big a change though!!
Practice with different products op and a big brush +hair drier
Maybe move the parting?

SpiritedLondon · 30/01/2019 11:31

I think we all have horror stories where we paint a fixed smile on our faces as we pay!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 30/01/2019 11:37

Oh darling I FEEL for you. One day ages back I was passing a supercuts and ducked in for a fringe trim; I have the straightest most boring shoulder length hair ever.

He went straight for my fringe with the scissors, no ask no nothing.

I came out looking like Grayson Perry as “Claire”.

I cried for fucking HOURS.

schnubbins · 30/01/2019 11:40

I had my haircut just before i was due with my first baby 20 years ago.I asked her to cut a long graduated side fringe into my shoulder length thick wavy hair. She cut a mullet instead , a real mullet from the 70's .i went home and cried and cried.I turned on the T.V and sawyhat there had been a massive train crash with many casualties and that then stopped me crying and brought me to my senses.I cut my hair short afterwards as my hair fell out post partum.but when i look at me and the photos with my gorgeous baby and the mullet.......

NotTheMrMenAgain · 30/01/2019 11:51

How on earth did she get it so wrong?! I've had bobs and I've had pixie crops OP, you want to be one or the other, not a strange hybrid!
If I were you I'd go to a different hairdressers, get it re-cut and just rock it short.

Cookmysock1 · 30/01/2019 16:27

We should all stick to the mumsnet haircut Grin

HitchHikingTomorrow · 30/01/2019 16:38

OP I’m feeling your pain right now.
I had my hair highlighted yesterday & I can’t even look at myself in the mirror- I hate, hate, hate & can’t afford to go anywhere else to get it rectified.
My bobble hat will be my friend in the coming weeks 😢😢

Rafabella · 30/01/2019 16:54

Ok so you didn't get what you asked for, but the cut you did get is absolutely gorgeous. Just by the pic you have uploaded you can tell it really suits you. If it was horrendous i would be gunning for the stylist, but honestly that looks beautiful.

Beamur · 30/01/2019 17:03

I've had two disasters in the hairdresser's over the years. I cried in the hairdresser's it was that bad. One had been with a hairdresser I'd been going to for years and she didn't listen to what I asked her to do (layered bob) and cut an inverted bob (very short at the back, long on the sides). I hated it. Never went back. There was no way to recover it except to let it grow a bit first.
It's horrible when it happens! But it will grow out.

toddlepod · 30/01/2019 17:09

I love the cut you got! Much nicer than the first pic (imho) but if it's not what you wanted I can understand the upset.

PuppyMonkey · 30/01/2019 17:16

OP, you’re going to have to post an actual pic of you before anyone else pops onto the thread saying how nice you look in the second photo. Grin

Cookmysock1 · 30/01/2019 17:27

I've had some horrendous hair dos over the years, a perm that looked like a dandelion clock, no two hairs standing together, the streaks that made me look like the love child of George Michael and a wasp, and the attempt at going blonde that ended up cheese slice orange, I thought I would be taking my hair home in a carrier bag