To be very, very, very scared by this...

[MrsEddieEdwards]

Ever heard the saying, you’re only one pay slip away from poverty?

It’s something I have never given a great deal of thought to because, although I’m not exactly rich, I’m comfortable. Maybe been a bit too comfortable.

My marriage broke up and is towards the end of the divorce process. I’m trying desperately to make ends meet on a part time wage, but the more I search for longer hours the further away that dream seems.

We haven’t reached a settlement yet, that should be in a few months, but I could lose my home, I’m fast losing savings because of legal fees and each time I shop, I find myself dropping another item off the bill as I need to save all I can (no bath soak, I can do without, no meat, I can do without, etc).

I wanted a quick and fair divorce - He wants to leave me with nothing (he’s been hateful all the way through).

I just need a hand hold I think. I’m slowly sinking into despair and the worry is eating away at me.

There are people worse off than I am, please don’t think I’m blind to that. But I just can’t see any light at the end of this tunnel.

I have no friends, no family.

Each day is a battle. A battle I fear I’m losing.

Hang on in there, and if you need to check advice re your divorce settlement, post on legal, where there are a couple of v helpful family solicitors.

I was in your shoes Op , no job , 9 month old baby , ex cleared out the bank account, we weren’t married, house was in my name only, he gave up working so he didn’t have to pay child support- I didnt have a penny.

I took on a couple of cleaning jobs , then went to university , I lived off my overdraft for years, got a full time job and last month (many years after ex left it has to be said) I paid off my mortgage.

It’s not easy but you can do it . Shop at Lidl , look at utilities and see if there’s a cheaper supplier. Cancel Sky or whatever, if you have it , check mobile phone contract. Save coupons , join Quidco for money back on purchases.

Giffgaff is a very cheap (no contract) mobile network.

A judge will likely award you 50% of everything. If you can then buy a cheaper house, then either take in a lodger to make extra cash or rent it out and lodge with someone else yourself until your financial situation is better.

You will as others have said be awarded at least 50%. You can buy a flat or small house. It WILL be fine OP. You're just in the thick of it right now.

I promise it will get better.

I worked in a solicitors office for many years. They like payment as you go along because they have cash flow to consider run their business.

However, if necessary we always allowed a client to pay so much per month of it helped them get through. Many times the matter would be completed but we permitted the client to continue paying per month until the account was settled.
Have you discussed this with your solicitor?

Also, as pp have said, when sorting financial matters, the behaviour of the parties has no relevance.

My solicitor has a reputation for being a bit of a ball breaker but she is very costly and I have large bills come in every other month.

Just had to pay the court application fee.

I wish that things were more amicable and fair, the only people winning here are the legal bods who can charge what they like.

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds awful and I'm not surprised you're scared and stressed. I wish you had some friends and family who could offer support

A ball breaking female solictor for your divorce is what you need. Sorry it's costly for you.

Sending support and