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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends boyfriend commenting on photos

92 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 29/01/2019 12:44

I feel I am being unreasonable here but please bare with me, I have some negative self esteem issues which may have triggered my annoyance.

Me and 2 friends got dressed up to go on an evening out and took a nice photo before hand. Friend said she was going to send the photo to her DBF (dear boyfriend). He replied to her message and said "you all look great" and the friend showed me this message in a "aww look what DBF has said". As she was showing me another message popped up from him to her saying "but you look the best obviously".

I didn't say anything but was I being unreasonable to feel put out by the unnecessary comment... I felt a bit awkward knowing someones DBF feels the need to 'rank' attractiveness and comment on it.... I mean obviously he will think she looks the best but does he have to say it to everyone's detriment.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 29/01/2019 13:00

Mountain out of a non existant molehill OP.
It was her BF. That's exactly the type of comment a caring BF should say to his GF.

WTBE · 29/01/2019 13:00

Sorry OP but this made me chuckle.

Of course he said that, much better than "bloody hell who's to your left she's amazing" Grin

FurzeandHarebells · 29/01/2019 13:01

No one looks at others without the lens of emotion.

People you love look better to you, people you dislike look worse.

Hence “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

MirriVan · 29/01/2019 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryMum101 · 29/01/2019 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CandleConcerto · 29/01/2019 13:02

He played that perfectly to be fair.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 29/01/2019 13:03

Wow YABU and quite frankly ridiculous. He isn’t saying anything to your detriment (or anyone else’s).

AmIOTTconcerned · 29/01/2019 13:06

YABU.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/01/2019 13:06

Bloody hell @Angrymum are you answering or writing a recipe.

Lifeofsmiley · 29/01/2019 13:07

yab Massively u.

CreakyBlinder · 29/01/2019 13:07

rocket surgery Grin

JacksonPillock · 29/01/2019 13:09

You're making a mounting out of... Out of a hole in the ground.

PhilomenaCatLover · 29/01/2019 13:11

Glad you realised YABU OP. It did make me chuckle. Of course her boyfriend is going to say that to her in a private message. Of course I tell my partner he looks hotter than Chris Hemsworth (and he does, because Chris Hemsworth doesn't empty my bins out when it's clearly my turn but it's cold outside).

DobbyLovesSocks · 29/01/2019 13:13

@Angrymum - now you have made me hungry lol

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 29/01/2019 13:14

Maybe she shouldn’t have showed the latest comment. A bit odd she did.

Lorddenning1 · 29/01/2019 13:15

I was expecting the comment to be a negative insult about you lol

YABU

BitOutOfPractice · 29/01/2019 13:15

I didn't think this is what the thread was going to be like from the title. But yes, as you've admitted, you're being U.

I bet you looked gorgeous though OP

JacksonPillock · 29/01/2019 13:15

Maybe she shouldn’t have showed the latest comment. A bit odd she did

From the OP: As she was showing me another message popped up from him to her saying "but you look the best obviously"

ShowMeTheKittens · 29/01/2019 13:17

Oh dear it's the Jackie problem page again.
He does not want his girl friend jealous does he? ffs
Signed Marje.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 29/01/2019 13:19

Me: I need a facelift.
DH: No you don't, you're lovely just as you are.

Which is of course the correct reply, even though I really really do need a facelift!

He loves me - of course he's going to say something nice.

Cop on to yourself OP Smile

cakecakecheese · 29/01/2019 13:19

Do you have a partner? If so do they not give you compliments? Or have you had negative comments in the past?

Are you having any therapy or councelling? Because twisting round a pretty standard boyfriend comment and feeling so strongly about it that you've posted on MN really isn't that healthy...

It's like if say I was watching a Tom Hardy film with my bf and mentioned that he's hot I would then automatically add 'but not as hot as you' because that's what you do. In no way am I slagging off Tom Hardy Grin

Mmmhmmm · 29/01/2019 13:20

@Sirzy

"It would be strange if he didn’t think (or even pretend!) his partner looked the best"

Agree with that Plus he sent what he thought was a private text to his GF.

This reminds me of a thread awhile back where the OP was in a huff because she overheard her friend's BF whispering privately to her that she was the most gorgeous girl there or something to that effect.

Why wouldn't he think his GF is the best looking? Hmm

elQuintoConyo · 29/01/2019 13:20

AngryMum101 awful thing to say to anyone, but did you read OP's update about MH problems? Hmm

MrsWillGardner · 29/01/2019 13:21

was I being unreasonable to feel put out by the unnecessary comment

Yes because it wasn’t an unnecessary comment.

You saying things like rank attractiveness and everyone's detriment is silly because it wasn’t about you and you’ve taken it far too personally.

Whothere · 29/01/2019 13:21

Do you feel out out that he ‘ranked’ her above you?

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