Baby DD won't stop screaming.

[Seline]

I can't sleep. Ever. DD screams and screams and screams. She will only sleep on me. She screams and wakes up her twin brother. She screams in the cot. She screams in the moses basket. She screams and screams.

I feel guilty for being upset as she was a very poorly nicu baby who has fought so hard to be here but she will not let me sleep ever. I've had two hours sleep in 4 days now. I feel like banging my head against a wall.

How do I get her to sleep

Don't feel guilty. It's blinking tough getting no sleep, especially I imagine with twins as well. Have you got anyone you can ask for some help/to watch so you can sleep later today?

My mum helps but she's helping look after our eldest son too who has SEN and is getting disturbed by the crying so she can't do everything DH has just started a new job. I've got both of them yelling now and I just want to cry

Can you take her into bed with you?

I don't feel comfortable cosleeping because she weighed 2lb born and had lots of breathing issues so I think it'd put her at risk

Hi OP, I can't answer your question I'm sorry but saw that you just posted and wanted to let you know you're not alone, our DD is 5 weeks today and would sleep on us day and night if possible. I guess we're both up just now for the same reason!

How old is your DC? We've found following the blissful baby routine helps: swaddle, hold them on their side, shhhhh them while rocking then give them something to suck (gave in and using dummy for this as bf wakes her when we move into crib and prefer to do routine once fed).

DH and I also take it in shifts, go to bed about 9.30 and I see to her until about 3 then we swap. It means we can both switch off more when we know the other is in charge and sleep better. Is an arrangement like this an option for you? Much better than when we were taking it in turns.

xx

She's 3 months old but was a 26 weeker so is like newborn. We tried doing shifts but because they're twins it's impossible because they both wake for feeds at once and it feels awful leaving one to scream.

DD won't take a dummy whereas DS2 will. She is a very spirited baby which we love about her we just wish she would sleep even for a couple of hours

Another one saying if you aren’t using a dummy go out tomorrow and buy every one with every teat you can find. One will work. I had a screamer and this did work although I spent about £100 on dummies finding the right one. Also, consider it could be reflux maybe? Have you seen your GP?

You have probably tried warming up the Moses basket mattress and the having her on the mattress in your arms then lift both mattress and baby into basket. Put a Moses basket sheet against your skin for a day so it smells of you is another trick
And maybe try a dummy x

I don't think it's reflux because her twin brother and her older brother both have/had reflux and they projectile vomit. I did wonder whether she could have silent reflux?

Both of them are on neocate milk and were breastfed before so it's not dairy either

Op, I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you with twins and an older sibling with SEN on top of that. I wish I could help, I just want to say you are doing an amazing job and although it may not feel like it it will get better. Picture her in your mind all grown up, something that may have once seemed a fantasy. Nap when they are all asleep and picture a happy family of all grown up children one day x

Thank you. I've been crying on and off all night and keep thinking the neighbours must be thinking what a crap parent I am although I'm sure that's the lack of sleep getting to me.

I think, although I have no evidence, that she's traumatised by the nicu experience and that's why she wants to be held constantly

You’re not a crap parent. You’re the mother of very tiny twins. You’re exhausted and your hormones are all over the place.
I’m sorry I don’t have much to add other than, yes try and find a dummy she will take and yes, put your used tshirt in the cot so she can smell you.
It will get easier. One hour, one day at a time.

And congratulations on the birth of your twins, you are amazing!

Hi OP,

My Dd is 6 weeks and also quite unsettled unless she is on me (she was also prem but not as early as your two). She won't sleep in the dark (I think because she is used to the lights of the neonatal unit)

Have you tried baby massage? We were recommended it to help relax Dd and it seems to be helping. We don't do it deliberately at 'sleep time' but it seems to helping her calm in general

Thank you. I don't understand because in the NICU she would sleep properly sometimes I'd hold her and change her and she would sleep through it all yet now I feed her and rock her and cuddle her and the slightest hint I'm about to move her she goes mental!

I feel so guilty, I stupidly said to DH "I wish someone could just take her!" I meant for a couple of hours but she nearly died several times and now I feel awful

I haven't tries baby massage or the lights being on, I never realised that. I've tried "womb sounds" and even cast them onto our tv when downstairs it helps slightly but not much

Don't feel awful. You are not a bad parent, you are doing an amazing job. It's so hard we are all allowed a bit of a wobble.

It might be a bit to do with the change in environment (nice and home are so very different) and you are a familiar constant.

It's hard just now but I'm sure it will pass. Do you still have support from the neonatal team? It might be worth speaking to them to see if they have any suggestions? I'm sure the will have seen this before

Could she be used to background or white noise when sleeping after being in NICU? Congratulations and don't feel guilty, you are exhausted and trying your best. My third was a screamer and it was so hard.

Look into safe co-sleeping OP. You desperately need some sleep and some babies just won’t settle unless they are close to mum.

I hope you manage to get some rest.

I had a non sleeping neonate OP,

I found that thunderstorms and rainfall helped him sleep (lightbulb moment after a pretty horrendous thunderstorm with rain that literally hammered the skylight of the apartment we lived in at the time)

From that point on, we got hold of cds with the noises in and played them in his room, worked 24/30, you tube videos of it are good if staying away,

Hope this might help you op,

Let her sleep on you, she may be needing that.

Just wanted to say that DS was a very strong and healthy full term baby but also screamed/screams relentlessly when put down to sleep. So do not feel guilty! Nothing to do with trauma or the NICU, some babies just like to be held, it’s a natural instinct.

Youtube hospital background noise? Beeping machines and stuff?