Baby DD won't stop screaming.

[Seline]

I can't sleep. Ever. DD screams and screams and screams. She will only sleep on me. She screams and wakes up her twin brother. She screams in the cot. She screams in the moses basket. She screams and screams.

I feel guilty for being upset as she was a very poorly nicu baby who has fought so hard to be here but she will not let me sleep ever. I've had two hours sleep in 4 days now. I feel like banging my head against a wall.

How do I get her to sleep

Hi OP. I know what it’s like to have a screamer, that’s without twins and an older children- never mind all the medical stuff added to the mix.

You are doing amazing, please know that.

How are her naps?? My daughter is 7 months old now and was terrible until nearly 4 months. She’s still difficult now. I gave up dairy (breastfeeding) which made a huge difference- although it could have just been colic stopping. Can you get perscription milk to try if you are FF?

When I look back I think she was very overtired a lot, but as she is so active and alert has never been able to self settle.

There is a thread in parenting for parents of criers if you would like to read or join the thread. Our babies are a bit older now but a lot of what you describe sounds very similar.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3398261-Parents-of-Criers-Support-Thread-Respite-from-the-Screaming

Thanks everyone. Currently got poor DS2 sitting on me after he was desperate for a cuddle. Held his sister for ages and and soon as I've put her down she's off again I've put hospital noise on and she's been fed and changed but still wants to be held

You poor thing. You must be exhausted physically and mentally. Do you have any friends or aunts/uncles who could call for an hour or two during the day to offer a spare pair of hands to hold and rock your daughter. If possible could you see if there is anyone locally who could help in your home with childcare a few hours per week. These tough days will soon pass but it is tough when you are going through them.

I'm glad the hospital noise is helping somewhat. My theory was that most of the things meant to soothe newborns (white noise, swaddling etc) remind them of the womb, which is familiar. But for your DD, the womb was so long ago, the nicu is probably far more familiar to her. I'd be trying to find things that remind her of that.

Definitely look for medical causes too though.

my 2nd was a clingy screamer! She was a very small baby and midwife recommended a smaller dummy. NUK medic pro genius is the sort of shape Im referring too. Not all babies like the traditional shape dummies so worth a try if she has tried before, but didn’t like. I switched bottle teats too which helped her no end too. I was very anti dummy before her. I soon changed my mind when nothing else helped. Also, I bought her a small comforter, the sort with ribbons around the edge. She loved the feel of this too.

not quite sure why I felt the need to say ‘too’ so many times

Hi OP,

I'm also a twin mum, my boys are now one.
Although they were not prem, here are some ideas that may help you that sort of worked with our boys...

Raise the cot on one side so she is tilted, it may be reflux and settle down. DT2 still needs his slanted some nights.

Try putting her to sleep on her side, this is the only thing which would work early on, we turned him onto his back when we were sure he was asleep.

Shifts between yourselves... I went to bed when DP got home at 6. He stayed awake until 1am so I got 6hours sleep, then he went to bed until he had to get up for work. I slept when I could in between these times.

Split them up. You'd be surprised how much they might be disturbing each other. (Also can tilt one cot)

If one baby wakes, wake the other. Try and get them in-sync.

If one baby wants a feed, feed the other. That way (hopefully) they both should want feeding at relatively the same time next feed is due, gives you some down time.

Get a decent twin feeding pillow and feed them both at the same time.

DO NOT feel guilty about leaving one (or both) to cry. It won't be forever and this is something you just have to live with sometimes to survive the first months.

All twin mums will tell you, it does get easier. One year in and they now do their bottles by themselves. Sleep through the night and give me a two hour break in the afternoon.

You ARE amazing.

Feel free to PM me any time if you need to chat. Alternatively check out the TAMBA website, they have a load of info on there specifically for twins and a freephone support phone number, manned by twin mums.

Friends baby had cranial osteopathy i think. Released the pressure

People with twins are incredible

I've seen twin feeding pillows but not sure how they work as DD has to be fed on her side due to gagging

This may work for the side feeding?

You can get flatter pillows than this. As long as you don't leave them unsupervised then this propping may help. If you have a v shaped or pregnancy pillow hanging around then perhaps try and position her in a way first to see if she could tolerate it before buying one?

That pillow might work yes! Thank you

U've got insomnia. I recommend seeing a doctor. I had this same issue with my first DD and i if anything can only sleep. Nothing wakes me up anymore :)

Could you speak to your health visitor about trying safe co sleeping or the possibility of getting a breathing monitor and putting her down to sleep on her stomach?
Afaik from visiting 2 prem babies in nicu, they were sleeping on their fronts (obviously they are monitored carefully though).

@69Caren are you on the wrong thread?

Op where abouts are you? I am happy to come cuddle a newborn!

maybe :0

Asda currently have a twin pillow online which is similar at a fraction of the price. Pad the gaps with blankets etc until they get bigger.

I will pm you a pic of how I used my pillow

Haha or attach it by accident. Oh well. I pushed the sides together for them to be sat inside it.

Are you still breastfeeding? Look up the safe co-sleeping guidelines. I can't believe someone suggested earplugs, she's a tiny baby - you can't just expect her mum to ignore her for a few hours! She just wants to be near you, research the co-sleeping safety guidelines and see if you can make that work for you. Do you have anybody who can help you I'm out for a bit? Can you buy a sling to put her in during the day if you need to get stuff done (like make yourself some lunch or whatever) and she might sleep in the sling while you crack on with whatever you're doing?

Also, very importantly I think you should bring her to your doctor to get her checked out for anything that might be causing her to scream for so long.

Op where abouts are you? I am happy to come cuddle a newborn

Me too 😍 trying for a second just now and so broody.

She must sleep. When dies she sleep? Can you sleep while she is sleeping day and or night. They must both sleep a ton being so prem. during the day, are you running yourself ragged? Don't. Just sleep when they sleep. Like I said being so prem surely they are sleeping most hours if the day even if it is broken. Can you pay for someone to come in to give you 3-4 hours rest during the day?

@sollyfromsurrey from the op She will only sleep on me.

I had a screamer. If your bf dairy can be passed through your milk. Screaming didn't stop until we were back in hospital for unrelated issue and nurse swaddled him. Then put him on his side with blanket wedged infront and behind him so he couldn't move (This was 10 years ago so this could be sidds issue).

At home ended up dragging mattress into sitting room and slept there. No blankets. Baby in swaddle thingy and me in onsie