Lady begging on the tube

[UsedtobeFeckless]

Please all tell me in shouty capitals how it's a big wrong thing to give to beggers because l'm feeling bad about this.
Sitting on the tube and a lady comes along the carriage asking very quietly and politely for money. Everyone put their heads down and ignored her. I did too. If anyone else had put their hand in their pocket l would have done too but no-one did so l just sat there and l've been beating myself up for it ever since.
What would you have done?

As a woman who (like many women) has spent her whole life being warned to be careful about talking to strange men,

Don't worry a paedophile isnt going to groom you (even though you are now an adult 🙄) because you said "I'm so sorry I don't have any cash, have a nice day" 😂

The Big Issue seller in my small town has been telling people "baby coming soon" for the last 6 years In this time I know she has been donated at least 4 expensive travel systems and untold bags of clothes and baby equipment.

I won't even buy the Big Issue from her since the day I saw her being dropped off early one morning by a shifty looking man in a very nice car, who had her sitting on a plastic bag on the back seat. Utterly obviously a gangmaster and anything she is given won't be benefitting her or her non existent baby

I live in London and as of late, EVERY SINGLE TIME I've been on the tube I have encountered this same situation.
Like pp's said they are preying on the fact you are in an uncomfortable confined environment and are most likely professional beggars. So don't feel bad.

This happens a lot where my DD lives and I find it's helpful to always have some small change in my pocket. It feels uncomfortable rummaging in your handbag for change when everyone else is studiously ignoring, easier if you just have to put a hand in your coat pocket.

To me it doesn't really matter why they are begging, it must be fucking miserable living off the charity of others regardless of why you are doing it, they are welcome to my small change.

Honestly if you have to commute on the Hammersmith and City every day you’d soon stop being taken for a mug. The same ones are at it every single day, they are professional beggars. It is illegal to beg. I’ve had tube drivers announce that they do not want them getting on their trains and to please leave.

They might fool out of towners and tourists but most others are sick of it.

Someone up thread mentioned not believing a beggar because he had a brand new duvet. Well appearances can be deceptive. We have been talking to a homeless person for some time so we know he’s legit and he told us his blanket had been stolen.(We’re not credulous and we believed him), so we went and bought him the best warmest sleeping bag we could find. That day he might have looked like a scammer to others,but he definitely wasn’t

I saw a "begger" once counting his money. He was down an alley in soho.

Pile about a metre long by about 5 rows deep. Piles of pound coins. Stacked up in what looked like piles of ten.

There was 2 more of them waiting whilst he was counting it up and sharing it out. Must have had about £300 each at least.

I walked past as some other guy. We both turned to each other flabbergasted like "did you just see that?" In complete disbelief.

This was a time I was walking home as didnt have bus fare and they where pocketing more than my weeks wage at the time begging 😡 made my blood boil.

There's only one guy I give cash to - and he sits outside the same multi-storey car park every single day. Always smiling and friendly and he never asks for money - just has the cup in front of him. The car park has a funny pedestrian entrance where you need to swipe your ticket and the machine is very finicky. I see him helping people multiple times through the day, showing them what they need to do with their ticket.

There are loads of beggars outside every supermarket here. Almost all of them are addicts (spice). I never give cash but I usually stop and offer to get them a sarnie or a drink.

I used to give to a beggar who sat in the same spot every weekend, when I used to shop in town years ago. One weekend when I passed his spot, he was with a group of similarly dressed men, being directed by another man, being told where in town to sit. If looked like it was all a scam to me, a professional begging operation, after seeing that. Now, I only ever buy the Big Issue.

I wouldnt have given had I been in your situation, OP. I dont like to be so cynical but i was quite upset by what i saw.

I wouldn't have given any money. I have purchased food and given that and even sleeping bags in the past however I have had this thrown back at me a couple of times.
I've noticed over the years that one of the dogs is often seen with different homeless people through the week as I think they know more people will give if they see them with an animal so share him.
It's each to there own and if I saw someone giving them money I wouldn't think anything of it.

I offer them food or a hot drink if there's a cafe nearby and they're always grateful. If there's nothing nearby I give them a little change if I can. Certain friends get annoyed with me because they're convinced they're all drug addicts and scumbags but they're not, regardless of that I've chosen to give them a quid and what they do with it is their decision and their choice it's really not on my conscience.

I'm only 2 payslips away from being homeless myself. If it happened I'd want someone to help me out 👍

Do it. Give money.

You do whatever you like with your money.

I almost never carry cash on me and if I do, I don't have it to spare to give to a beggar.

I always wonder about all these virtue signallers who tell you to give them sandwiches, Mac D's and hot drinks.

What if they don't like or can't eat what you've chosen for them or don't want to drink hot drinks for not wanting to find and pay for a toilet? That kind of advice always seems more about the giver than the recipient. 'Oh, I gave a beggar a meal deal, go me!'

When to see them ‘at work’ it’s quite an eye opener. There’s a group that congregate near me outside a coffee shop, sitting in the corner with their cups of coffee, chatting. Then they will all get up and scatter along oxford street.

Apart from ‘cuddly toy man’ who used to just sit, them he took off his shoes, then started rocking, now sits with a teddy bear rocking - it’s his ‘thing’ (I’ve seen him elsewhere, fully clothed and shod and not displaying any tics and not clutching a soft toy. When he is not there someone else does a good impression (rocking with a toy) but he isn’t quite so ‘convincing’.

Or the young women who look like students - until you engage with them (excuse me, excuse me!) as they look as if they are going to ask for directions. They they start aggressively asking for money. I say one chasing a poor man down the street handing into his arm.

Or the kids and deaf (possibly) man wanting you to sign a petition - then trying to get you to hand over cash! The deaf man got very irate when I said no - but some BSL does come in handy sometimes.

I don't ever give money, but I do buy them a hot drink and something to eat if I can.

If you see a rough sleeper you can use streetlink to report their position, a local charity will come and help.

It is awful, I would have felt bad too. There is a local beggar he was in my class in school, he clearly has adhd and other issues, but as a child in the 80s he was over looked, I get him tea and a sandwich.
My only issue is they're so many beggars now, in local estates at local shop, outside doctors, just walking through a housing estate. The drugs epidemic is huge, I get fed up getting asked going in the shop, then on the way out, I used to give to the local ones but you asked so often, I can't afford it and it is for drugs.
My issue with the big issue is, there is a big scam in Dublin they buy one to sell, you pay them and they won't give you the paper, they keep it to contact the next sod.
The guy outside my work gets tea regularly, many people give him money daily too.

I donate to Salvation Army and buy the Big Issue but don't tend to give to individuals. That said there is a bloke with a dog in our town and I always offer to buy him food and a drink and always buy something for the dog because he always shares his food with him otherwise.

I usually give them food. If I am buying food I will buy some extra food and hand it out when I get outside. 9/10 they give it to their dogs which always chokes me up a little

there's a few at vauxhall station constantly asking for money for food -people give them food instead and when you go past at the end of the day there's sainsburys bags full of food left dumped because they don't want / need it.

It’s a dilemma. I tend not to give to beggars in Central London as a lot of them are from organised gangs and I don’t want to support slavers. However in the busy seaside city I live in there are a lot of (what appear to be) genuinely homeless people, some of whom I know by sight and I might give them £5 on a night out. It’s less than the price of a drink and better for my liver.

The sad fact is that you cannot know for sure who is genuinely needy, who is a slave and who is a chancer. So I give to a homeless charity every month by DD and I also volunteer for a winter shelter every year.

FWIW my own brother was homeless for some years. He had vanished from our lives at that stage having lied and stolen from all,his friends and family. When he was sleeping rough any money kind strangers gave him went on drink. He eventually got back on his feet when he was helped by a homeless charity that gave him shelter and help with his alcoholism.

It all depends on the beggar. I have given money in the past but I don’t as a rule. Never to people who look like they will spend on drugs. And as a rule I am wise to sob stories and scams.

However, the last time I did give money was in central London a couple of weeks ago. The man said he ex forces with PSTD, (we grilled him and he gave very swift answers that were clear, specific and compelling. Regiment number, tours of duty, dates etc.) Apparently he was in a rehabilitation programme and was in a hostel but needed to pay nightly. He wasn’t sitting on the street in a sleeping bag with a sign and a plastic cup, but walking up to people directly and pitching to them. He was clean, articulate, sober, very plausible, very polite and very thankful. DH was wary but I reasoned that we could afford a tenner and if he was genuine then he deserved any break he could get.

We once gave a fiver to a man who was obviously very mentally unwell, cold and hungry as he appeared to be scavenging for food in bins, in the freezing cold, with no shoes on. He repaid us by punching and kicking my husband. Sadly that’s made us reluctant to approach anyone obviously unwell again.

If you are busking, you’d better be good. Begging disguised as busking when you can’t really play a note does nothing to fool anyone. It’s a no from me.

I would never ever give to roaming gangs of foreign ‘professional’ aggressive beggars using babies and small kids to guilt trip me . EVER. Parasitic scumbags. Neither would I give to any beggar who didn’t sound British. If freedom of movement for you hasn’t resulted in an a job and you are ‘homeless’ then go home. Begging might not be quite so lucrative in Romania or Lithuania, but tough. This is not what freedom of movement was designed for.

I hate this rhetoric about deserving beggars, and the idea of testing a homeless man to check that he deserves your charity is disgusting.

There are too many organised gangs begging these days. London Underground actually runs announcements at many stations advising the public not to give money to beggars because they know they're scamming. They're very prolific around the Aldgate area. Better to give spare money to charities like Shelter, or donate spare items to a food bank if you want to help out.

I try buy food and a hot drink where I can but I do sometimes give money. I used to work in a takeaway in Liverpool central where there were always lots of homeless around, whenever orders where put through wrong we could take the food out for any homeless that where around and 9/10 where so so grateful and I would genuinely enjoy having a chat with them as well. Doesn’t cost anything to make a conversation (only if you feel comfortable to), may be the only one that person has that day.

She's also on the District Line OP. Some give her money, most don't and I don't either. I don't ignore her, I smile as she walks by. But a lot of these people are pretend and I simply can't bear the idea of giving to someone who's pretending, so I don't give to any. Don't feel bad