Lady begging on the tube

[UsedtobeFeckless]

Please all tell me in shouty capitals how it's a big wrong thing to give to beggers because l'm feeling bad about this.
Sitting on the tube and a lady comes along the carriage asking very quietly and politely for money. Everyone put their heads down and ignored her. I did too. If anyone else had put their hand in their pocket l would have done too but no-one did so l just sat there and l've been beating myself up for it ever since.
What would you have done?

I think we all have strange emotional rules for when/who/how much we give which make it easier for our poor brains not to implode at the reality of pain and inequality all around us.

I get the ginger line frequently around east and south east London and there is almost always at least one person walking the length of the train hoping for help. I tend not to give to any of the English white men I see especially one guy I see a lot selling ashtrays made from recycled cans who goes on and on about how his kids help him make them. I'll quite often discretely give whatever emergency note I have in my wallet, usually £5 or £10, if a woman is asking for money. I figure if she is desperate enough to be asking strangers on a train for money she clearly needs it more than me

I've had this. The beggar was dirty and filthy. I gave him a fiver and other people gave money too

@Villanellenovella Wed 30-Jan-19 07:17:01
Kirsty - so that 'professional' Roma mother with a kid on her lap is to be ignored? Giving money to strangers does not equate to naivety - if someone - anyone - is out in these temperatures begging - I don't care whether they're 'professional' or not - especially if they have a kid.

They drug those kids.

Some people on this thread are mugs - that's a general some, not directed at any one poster in particular.

And some people on this thread are cynical and hard hearted. Just like life in general really.

Are some people so naive they think there are women living on the streets of the UK with young children and babies? I know we're living in a time of austerity but things aren't that bad!

I tend not to give to any of the English white men I see especially one guy I see a lot selling ashtrays made from recycled cans who goes on and on about how his kids help him make them.

Bit racist .

There have been reports in the news where some people live several miles from London. They get the train to London daily and spend their time begging/busking. Some people were making good money (more than job seekers). However, I sometimes give money to people on the streets. I also donate to food banks. It is snowing this week, would anyone wish to be homeless in these cold conditions ?

They drug those kids.
I believe they are, I walk by a local lady daily she lives around here, she sits metres from the Garda station, the baby is approx 18months and he is always asleep, it is not a doll as I seen her on the tram at Christmas and the baby was drinking a red bull, his heart beat must be wrecked with uppers and downers.
I don't know if SS are involved, many Garda pass her daily.

I'd tell you in big shouty capitals: I FUCKING HATE THE POSTERS SAYING "DON'T GIVE MONEY - THEY WILL SPEND IT ON DRUGS".

This motherfucking tight middle-class clean living idiocy makes me mad. It's complacency, cruelty and self-righteousness. It's worse than not giving anything.

I always gave money if I had it. When I don't have enough for myself, I don't give and never feel any guilt.

@Bloodydisgrace 👏🏻

Donate to your cities/areas local outreach programme, then you know you are helping homeless people in the right way.

The number of street beggars in my town centre is ridiculous now, adding to the person wrapped in a sleeping bag outside every shop and cash machine.

My council insists that there is no need for anyone to be rough sleeping in this weather, the implication being that anyone claiming to be in these circumstances is a professional beggar.

I'm not comfortable with that assumption, nor am I comfortable in thinking my couple of quid will just go on booze and drugs, so I have a small standing order going to the homeless outreach charity.

Beggars need to be directed to a better way of life

Living in China hardened my heart. You’d see these dirty-looking mothers begging on the streets with their “babies” and give them money.

Except, by doing this, you are incentivising child kidnapping and abuse. These children are trafficked from poor villages and god knows what happens to them once they outlive their usefulness.

Anywhere that the begging trade becomes lucrative with cash, professionals take over and the people who really need the money are chased off the good spots. So by giving money, you are only making the world a worse place and making yourself feel better. It’s kind of selfish really.

Instead, identify very, very local charities and make a quarterly donation.

I never give to beggars of any sort. It's not because I'm a big old meanie, but because you can't be sure they are genuine. There are so many professional/organised gang beggars these days.

I've yet to get an answer to my question about where the money, which is apparently flooding into homeless charities, going? What are those charities doing with it? Because it's obviously not being spent on feeding or sheltering homeless people, is it?

Bluelady did you google it at all? england.shelter.org.uk/what_we_do/how_we_spend_your_money centrepoint.org.uk/what-we-do/

I don’t think anything is to be gained by giving money to street beggars. They are there either because they are scammers or because they have complex needs that won’t be helped (and will likely be made worse) by you giving them money. There are very many people in the world who need help but you can’t help them all.

If you give money to beggars it’s because you need to feel better, not because you are actually helping. Do something else to help you feel better that does more good objectively.

I'd have put my head down too.

Bluelady - wheee is the money you give to beggars going? What percentage is being spent “feeding and sheltering homeless people”? Any of it? How much to gang masters, drugs, drink, etc?

I always used to give to the homeless man outside our supermarket. Then one night I shopped late and witnessed a change over. A lady walked into the carpark, got a scruffy coat out of a rucksack, put it on, and changed places with the man on the blanket. He then walked to a quiet corner of the carpark, was met by another beggar from a different door. They lit cigarettes and got their expensive iPhones out. A Mercedes came to pick them up. I felt like a fool for all the money that I'd given previously. Now I'd only give to Outreach, Shelter or Streetpaws, so I know the money really goes to who needs it. When I saw that I posted about it on Facwbook and it got shared far and wide. So many people said they'd given £/5/10 to him. He must have easily been making a lot. Even £50 a day for 5 days a week is £1000 a month, surely enough to rent a room..

Sometimes, when staying in big cities (San Francisco particularly), I can see someone sleeping in a doorway from my hotel room and I'd go and give them food and a hot drink.

Bluelady - thank you for support, and your post below. I agree. There was some info a while ago how much CEOs of the biggest charities earn (around 100-150K). A paid employee of Oxfam once proudly told me (I came to volunteer and she was training me) how she snatched a coat from a homeless man which he picked up from a pile of discarded donations on the doorstep on the shop!! I was shocked and didn't know what to say. Her approach was exactly that: this coat is better sold for money which will go somewhere else rather than warming this particular man.

Seriously people ... Charities-schmarities ... I once took in for a night a homeless man (idiotic and dangerous yes, but he was the only person who asked me why I was crying on the street, and I lived in a wealthy white middle class area in North London, prob. full of folks like the rest of commenters here). While he was showering I looked at Shelter website to find the address for the night shelter, so I could give him money to get there. it was winter, cold. Every single fucking page screamed Donate! - not a single address of any shelter. I'll never forget that. (in the end he didn't murder me; i asked a friend to come over and we three had a dinner)

Well that link to Shelter says they spend 79p in every £ on "support, advice and campaigning", the latter don't put food in people's stomachs or keep them warm so it kind of proves my point.

zsazsajuju
If you give money to beggars it’s because you need to feel better, not because you are actually helping

I don't care about "feeling better about myself", I'm a smoker and possibly an alcoholic, so am quite tolerant towards my imperfections without the need to big myself up. I give money because anyone freezing their arse off on a street has a far worse life than I do. And I learnt that losing a home can happen to anyone. And I'm humble enough not to make the assumption what they will spend the money on. They need it - I give if I can, the rest is not my fucking business.

Bluelady what is support and advice then? And where does the money come from or the anger that it's allowed to happen come from if not from campaigning?

I live in London and there are a lot of beggars locally.

There is one man who goes from area to area asking for spare change, then goes and spends it in the bookies. I've seen this with my own eyes.

There's also European group who've infiltrated the local area who've modus operandi is to stand bow legged with a walking stick saying "please please" with their hand out. I felt tremendously sorry for the first few I saw until it became apparent they weren't disabled whatsoever (seen later walking perfectly normal)

It irritates me that I'm frequently approached as a female on my own with a pram.

I do occasionally give to rough sleepers who genuinely homeless.

Honestly people who give change and say ‘oh well if they spend it on a fix who am I to judge?’ You are funding a cycle of organised crime.

It’s like getting your puppy from a puppy farm and saying ‘oh but I couldn’t leave it there’- you are funding the cycle, again and again and again.