Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lady begging on the tube

337 replies

UsedtobeFeckless · 28/01/2019 22:55

Please all tell me in shouty capitals how it's a big wrong thing to give to beggers because l'm feeling bad about this.
Sitting on the tube and a lady comes along the carriage asking very quietly and politely for money. Everyone put their heads down and ignored her. I did too. If anyone else had put their hand in their pocket l would have done too but no-one did so l just sat there and l've been beating myself up for it ever since.
What would you have done?

OP posts:
KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 29/01/2019 12:31

A few people were convinced that the Romanian ladies with the signs stating that they needed food for their children outside the supermarket were genuine, and some mums (on an expat forum) went in with these women and gave them a basket to get some items. When they got to the checkout the cashier told them not to do it again as they were returning all the groceries for cash.

This is a common scam in south east Asia, usually young girls begging with a baby on their hip saying their mother is ill and cannot feed their sibling, they don't want money they just want you to buy a tin of formula milk for the baby. Then they return the formula to the shopkeeper who sticks it back on the shelf and gives the girl a cut for bringing the tourist in.

But this is in cahoots with the independent shop owner. It wouldn't really work in a large supermarket as in most countries it's not legally possible to return food items (unless they are off/bad) for health and safety reasons, due to the risk of tampering and sabotage.

Even if they were getting people to buy non-food items I can't imagine many customer service departments being happy to continually keep refunding on purchases these scammers didn't have receipts for!

Bluelady · 29/01/2019 12:35

Completely agree @stopfuckingshoutingatme. How effective are all those homeless charities you all apparently donate to when the sights described above are so common on our streets? Where are the hostels or even bloody soup and sandwiches they should be funding? Huge salaries and plush offices are where those donations are going.

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 29/01/2019 12:36

But don’t fucking accuse them of being billionaire Romanian arranged crime rings

I think we all know there are various types of beggar. I don't think anyone is confused about the difference. The Roma are quite distinct and easy to spot and the last thing they want is your cup of tea, believe me.

EmeraldShamrock · 29/01/2019 12:48

@stopfuckingshoutingatme
It is a business for many gangs, not saying the ones doing the begging even get much, the lady who sits at MacDonald with her 18month old, who is always asleep is not homeless, she lives close by, she shares a house with many but they have any benefits available to them.
Of course there are genuine needed people, starving and cold, especially young men destitute, you see more and more tents pitched up, some with children.
A women moved onto the beach here with her 9 children as they were homeless.
The government need to stop arguing about shitty time consuming brexit and deal with social issues, here and in the UK.

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 29/01/2019 12:53

A women moved onto the beach here with her 9 children as they were homeless.
The government need to stop arguing about shitty time consuming brexit and deal with social issues, here and in the UK.

Well if she's not British but from elsewhere in Europe then arguing about Brexit is part of dealing with social issues here in the UK. People arriving with no skills, nine children and nothing whatsoever to offer us is part of the reason so many people want Brexit. How many British low skilled people with large families to support are beating a path to Bulgaria or Romania? I bet you could count them on one hand. Or one thumb. And still have a thumb left.

cvcv · 29/01/2019 12:55

The Big Issue seller in my village drives a Merc Shock

Donate to mental health charities instead.

Sarcelle · 29/01/2019 12:56

You see people begging a lot on trains and tubes if you travel into and around London. From those leaving packets of tissues and then coming back and asking you to pay for them, or those saying they only need one more pound for a bed in a shelter. Some of the latter have been very aggressive and threatening.

If you really want to do something, give something, donate to a homeless charity. I don't even bother with Big Issue these days. I work in central London and the women selling it near my work are a gang, who are run by a man. I have seen them very early in the morning being directed to different streets. They also approach people outside cafes and pubs like wandering vendors rather than static at official pitches.

There also seems to be a new scam where they are kneeling as if they have no legs and they are rocking, except they do have legs. (Fair play to them even if they are scammers, must take it out of you and must be better ways of earning a living).

Or they have a St Bernard (or another large mountain dog) with them. When they see you looking they invite you to stroke them and then ask you for money. Near Euston recently I saw a homeless guy sitting begging with a blanket over his legs and on a mat thing. He looked dirty and unkempt. He then got up and his bottom half looked completely unrelated to his top half. He was wearing good shoes and a pristine pair of Armani chinos. Homeless top half only....you get cynical after a while.

I do see genuinely homeless people on my walk to work. I come into Victoria station and around the area there are lots of people sleeping rough. Tents are appearing, they are sleeping on old mattresses. Which is why I say give to homeless charities who can target where the money goes. Giving to scammers, however well meaning, does not help the homeless.

JenniferJareau · 29/01/2019 12:57

Plenty of people get into the tube without paying.

The pretending to have an oyster card is a common one. They get behind a fast walking commuter, pretended to touch out but slip in through the gates behind the speedy walker.

I was approached last year by a random (nicely dressed) woman on the street asking for cash. I apologised and said I didn't have cash on me as I was going to the gym. She gave me the filthiest look but my gym is close to home and I rarely carry cash when going there.

EmeraldShamrock · 29/01/2019 13:06

Well if she's not British but from elsewhere in Europe then arguing about Brexit is part of dealing with social issues She was Irish, and a rare cases of 9 children these days, but the rise in people has created rise in rents, it's cut throat and very hard to find a home.
I do agree with you, we have similar social issues, though our government is so busy with brexit the place is fecked, other issues are been ignored, we are going down the river with you on this.
If brexit helps the UK great, but I doubt it will for along time, unless they are going to kick every non brit off the Island, the ones you have are staying.
Anyway total derail sorry.

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 29/01/2019 13:08

Or they have a St Bernard (or another large mountain dog) with them. When they see you looking they invite you to stroke them and then ask you for money.

This is very common with gypsies in the markets of southern France, Spain and Italy. They stand there will some baby rabbits or a kitten on a table and wait for tourist children to come up, encourage them to look and stroke and then demand $5 euros from their parents. If I see people looking like they are about to be sucked in, I actually warn them as I walk past.

DopeyDazy · 29/01/2019 13:17

there used to be someone on the last motorway services before Calais with 'lost my wallet just need 20euros to get back to England ' just scammers. Give to a homeless charity if you want but most of the beggars are con artists that need arresting for fraud

Limensoda · 29/01/2019 13:24

FFS, the way people come up with reasons why they don't give to someone begging!
If you don't want to give....don't give! You don't have to talk about it or justify it with reasons that make you feel better about your decision or about yourself.
If it suits you to believe they aren't real beggars or you judge what they may spend it on then keep believing whatever makes you feel good.

TheCounter · 29/01/2019 13:25

They may all be beggars but they're not all skint.
Some of them go home to a nice warm house and sit on a nice comfy sofa and sleep in a nice comfy bed...and earn a fabulous living.
Don't be lumping in professional beggars with people that are genuinely penniless

ratchethandler · 29/01/2019 13:29

People arriving with no skills, nine children and nothing whatsoever to offer us is part of the reason so many people want Brexit

I agree. Wasn't the Big Issue set up to help homeless and unemployed British people? Now it seems the same problem amongst the Roma has become ours to solve.

As sorry as I am for anyone in that situation, it is up to their own governments and their own societies to see to their needs. Sitting in doorways in foreign countries having pennies thrown at them, is not the answer.

YogaWannabe · 29/01/2019 13:34

I’m really friendly with all my local beggars, I buy them a (very sugary) coffee, sweets and sit with them for a while and give money when I can which I know usually goes on heroin or drink. I didn’t realize it was a thing you don’t do.

SmackthePhony · 29/01/2019 13:37

I didn’t realise it was a thing you don’t do

Really? Hmm

Lockheart · 29/01/2019 13:37

@stopfuckingshoutingatme it’s clear to anyone with any level of critical thinking that there’s more than one type of beggar.

There are the genuinely homeless (as you have described and who obviously need help) and the organised gangs which specifically target trains, and which are criminal in nature. The OPs post is clearly about the latter.

Tinkerbell89 · 29/01/2019 13:39

I think giving then an actual sandwich or/and hot drink is better than money. Unfortunately most people on the street with nowhere to go are on drugs (using or dealing) there are lots of centres set up for the homeless but won't take them if they're using. Sad but appears to be the case

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/01/2019 13:44

They may all be beggars but they're not all skint. Some of them go home to a nice warm house and sit on a nice comfy sofa and sleep in a nice comfy bed...and earn a fabulous living

Well excuse me but I strongly suspect that the people I see every day , morning and evening are sleeping on a piece of cardboard and then using their pennies to have a shit in MacDonald’s (if they are lucky) or in the park if not .

Sadly everyone I see seem to fall into this category .

But if you don’t want to donate fine but don’t spread this bullshit . It’s offensive to state that the poor souls have a bed

They clearly DONT

And streelink did fuck all . Asked me questions that I couldn’t answer and did nothing . Waste Of My time

Dard · 29/01/2019 13:44

I bought food for young boy sleeping outside Asda he had no shoes and his feet were swollen someone called him an ambulance he had been in the care system I rang a local charity who said they would check on him a month later I got a call from charity to say they had sorted him accommodation,So young with just a blanket heartbreaking could have been my son,He wasn't begging

ratchethandler · 29/01/2019 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/01/2019 13:51

Trans Grin we are arguing about the homeless

Oliversmumsarmy · 29/01/2019 13:52

stopfuckingshoutingatme

The ones you describe probably are homeless but we are talking about the ones that get on trains and who are not.

mothertruck3r · 29/01/2019 13:54

Good, maybe your friend should spend her time working instead of looking out the window, she may get a pay rise.

Or maybe she should start selling the Big Issue and get more money (and benefits) tax free than she gets in her minimum wage job Wink.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/01/2019 13:54

The comments read fairly unanimously about all homeless . But thanks for clarifying

Swipe left for the next trending thread